Kid gets his dick stuck in a homemade fleshlight

[kane]

A friend of mine just called me and told me this. I'm still laughing.

My buddy (guy who told me this) is a cop in my town. He is at work today when there is a dispatch call for rescue/ambulance. The call is for a male, age 16, in medical distress. My buddy happens to be about 3 blocks from this kid's house so he decided to drive up and see if he can help while rescue is on the way.

He gets there to find the kid with one of his friends. The kid has made some kind of a homemade version of a fleshlight out of Saran Wrap, a towel, a couple of belts and some kind of cardboard tube among other things. So apparently the kid is banging away on this thing and he has the belts too tight and the cardboard tube collapses and his cock is now stuck in it and being smashed. He can't pull it out and is afraid to start cutting away on it so he called his buddy to help him out. His buddy gets there and sees some blood coming out of it so he freaks out and calls 911.

The fire department used some big scissor things to cut the belts away then they slowly cut the cardboard tube and peeled it off. After about 20 minutes they got this thing off the kid. He had a couple of minor cuts on his shaft, but was otherwise okay. They had to call his mom to treat him so she had to leave work and come home and now has to take him to the doctor to make sure he didn't do any real damage to himself.

The moral of the story goes, save your allowance and buy a real Fleshlight, don't try to make one on your own.

[moeloubani]

moral of the story should be get better porn, jizz faster and slide out before the collapse!!

[woj]

[MaDalton]

he better practice facials with his friend the next time

[CaptainHowdy]

Aaaaaaahahahahahaha!

[st0ned]

LMAO. I always see these tutorials on how to make a homemade one showing up near my promotions for the fleshlight. Too bad this isn't an actual news story so that I could discredit them and get more sales!

[2intense]

[u-Bob]

ouch

[cambaby]

Uhm theres a better way to make your own fleshlight see sig

[poncabare]

thats awesome

[kane]

LMAO. I always see these tutorials on how to make a homemade one showing up near my promotions for the fleshlight. Too bad this isn't an actual news story so that I could discredit them and get more sales!

My town has a weekly newspaper. They always print the rescue/fire calls in it. Usually they are just a list with short mentions of what the call was. This week I'm going to have to get the paper and see how they word this call. If it is good I'll scan it and post it.

[ottopottomouse]

Ouch .

[st0ned]

My town has a weekly newspaper. They always print the rescue/fire calls in it. Usually they are just a list with short mentions of what the call was. This week I'm going to have to get the paper and see how they word this call. If it is good I'll scan it and post it.

Awesome, thanks!

[Jarmusch]

I blame the tube sites he was browsing while using it.

[kristin]

That's awesome, what a doofus.

[Yngwie]

I'm just wondering how anyone can get stuck when all of the things used can be cut/loosened? The cardboard tube "collapsed"? sorry, not stuck.. Cut it or wait, loose the hard on and VOILA! . Belts too tight? Loosen the fucking thing.. Common sense unless he's a complete moron.

Maybe I'm missing something here, but this just sounds like something that even a mentally handicapped person would be like "wtf??? did you really need to call 911 for that??"

[TeenSluts]

hahahahaha

[flashfire]

lol don't forget to pull out

[pornguy]

Damn that will be all over his school FAST.

[Amputate Your Head]

[martinsc]

[CYF]

[Cyber Fucker]

bwahahahahahahaha...

[kane]

I'm just wondering how anyone can get stuck when all of the things used can be cut/loosened? The cardboard tube "collapsed"? sorry, not stuck.. Cut it or wait, loose the hard on and VOILA! . Belts too tight? Loosen the fucking thing.. Common sense unless he's a complete moron.

Maybe I'm missing something here, but this just sounds like something that even a mentally handicapped person would be like "wtf??? did you really need to call 911 for that??"

The way it was described to me (and I didn't see although I kind of wish I had ) is that he had some kind of belts wrapped around a cardboard tube. Inside the tube was some kind of filler and a layer of saran wrap. He would tighten the belts on the tube to make it "tighter". He pulled too hard on the belt that was at the top of the tube, the end he put his dick in, and it collapsed, pinching his cock and trapping it. He looked down and saw blood so he panicked. He was afraid to pull it out because he thought he might rip it off. He called a buddy who he thought would help him cut the tube off, but the buddy freaked and called 911.

So I guess the second lesson besides not making your own fleshlight is to never call a friend you can't count on.

[Django]

[kane]

Damn that will be all over his school FAST.

Yeah no doubt. Especially since this happened in the middle of day while he was on lunch from school. So he goes home for lunch and doesn't come back. People will hear that he had firetrucks and an ambulance at his house and the truth will get out fast.

[Dirty Dane]

[itx]

Ouch! better get a real fleshlight

[chris_joseph]

[$5 submissions]

Hilarious. Now he knows what he wants for Christmas.

[gmr324]

Damn that will be all over his school FAST.

The pain from the homemade contraption will be nothing compared to the torture he'll get in school

[mikesinner]

When I was a kid this was a fleshlight.



This was the advanced model.

[Chezter]

Haha, I cannot imagine anything more embarrassing than this.

[EllaBlack]

I just love that there were "morals" to the story. ROFL!

[tiger]

LOL, he might as well move to another country now.

[Chosen]

Shit happens...

[TheLegacy]

That's why they call it, "adult" industry - or - you must be this high to work here

[Jman]

moral of the story should be get better porn, jizz faster and slide out before the collapse!!

Or get a dog and a peanut butter jar

[Ethersync]

My town has a weekly newspaper. They always print the rescue/fire calls in it. Usually they are just a list with short mentions of what the call was. This week I'm going to have to get the paper and see how they word this call. If it is good I'll scan it and post it.

Please do it!

[Altwebdesign]

where do people get these ideas from?!

[MaDalton]

Or get a dog and a peanut butter jar

didn't you just recently get a dog?

and wouldn't a canadian use poutine instead?
(would probably have to cool down first though, otherwise it adds a new injury potential)

[BlueWave]

Yeah no doubt. Especially since this happened in the middle of day while he was on lunch from school. So he goes home for lunch and doesn't come back. People will hear that he had firetrucks and an ambulance at his house and the truth will get out fast.

Time to beg the parents to move to a new town far, far, FAR away from the current one.

[M0nk]

moral of the story should be get better porn, jizz faster and slide out before the collapse!!

what a clever move!