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-   -   Do pornstars regret of what they did when retire? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1086049)

blonda80 10-21-2012 12:12 PM

i believe some of them will

loopardo 10-21-2012 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyClips (Post 19265344)
Regret is a stupid word

As long as what you did was voluntary, didn't harm anyone and was consensual then do what thou wilt. Quit living in the box that society says you should live in.

I dont think is as much about society but what you feel... consider that, in time, a person may change its mind and so see from a different PERSONAL (please follow me here, we are not talking about what society think of you) point of view what was done, and dont feel that happy about it as before.

for example, one day you may look back and think "wow, that time when I was preaching about lemmings and whatever not to the 4 winds like *hey! you are all idiots*, and now... I realize I was being quite the douch inside my own little box... WOW!"

mineistaken 10-21-2012 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyClips (Post 19265344)
Regret is a stupid word

As long as what you did was voluntary, didn't harm anyone and was consensual then do what thou wilt. Quit living in the box that society says you should live in.

Nothing to do with society. When you are 18 you are not as wise and smart as when you are 50. So there are naturally some things that you wish you would have not done when you were younger. Like poster above said - PERSONAL perspective, not society perspective.

iwantchixx 10-21-2012 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyClips (Post 19263229)
Do what thou wilt

Quit worrying about the lemmings. Why would you send your kids to school? (heck, why would you even have kids?)

Do you ever stop, sit and think: "Would I really want to have a conversation with myself? Would I like me? Or would I think I am too abrasive to even take seriously?"

No?

Try it some time.

Robbie 10-21-2012 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken (Post 19265475)
Nothing to do with society. When you are 18 you are not as wise and smart as when you are 50. So there are naturally some things that you wish you would have not done when you were younger. Like poster above said - PERSONAL perspective, not society perspective.

I started out as male talent in my mid 30's in this business. Claudia Marie started in 2007 at the age of 33.

I'm sure a lot of girls start "young" and might regret it. But they were never really cut out for this business in the first place.

Most of the "real" porn people don't have the sexual hangups that most of society has and aren't burdened by what other people think.
For instance, if Claudia Marie were to quit porn right now...she could go try to get a "normal" job and make next to nothing and possibly have to worry about her boss firing her if he found out about her porn past.
OR...she could get a job as a bartender (that's what she did when I first met her) and make $500 and up a night in cash. OR...she could work full time at the strip club and make $1,000 and up a night (she makes real good money when she dances in clubs). OR...since we live in Las Vegas and she already has a sheriffs card (from dancing) she could deal cards at a casino and make good money as well.

Our families already know what we do for a living.

So there is an example of 2 people who have no regrets. And the longtime people that I know in this business: Minka, Kayla Kleevage, Ron Jeremy...are all pretty much the same way.

I think that these days, with so many girls getting in the industry over the past 10 years that probably weren't really cut out for it caused them to have "regrets".
But other than being hot, those girls were probably never meant to be in porn.

AmeliaG 10-21-2012 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbie (Post 19265567)
I started out as male talent in my mid 30's in this business. Claudia Marie started in 2007 at the age of 33.

I'm sure a lot of girls start "young" and might regret it. But they were never really cut out for this business in the first place.

Most of the "real" porn people don't have the sexual hangups that most of society has and aren't burdened by what other people think.
For instance, if Claudia Marie were to quit porn right now...she could go try to get a "normal" job and make next to nothing and possibly have to worry about her boss firing her if he found out about her porn past.
OR...she could get a job as a bartender (that's what she did when I first met her) and make $500 and up a night in cash. OR...she could work full time at the strip club and make $1,000 and up a night (she makes real good money when she dances in clubs). OR...since we live in Las Vegas and she already has a sheriffs card (from dancing) she could deal cards at a casino and make good money as well.

Our families already know what we do for a living.

So there is an example of 2 people who have no regrets. And the longtime people that I know in this business: Minka, Kayla Kleevage, Ron Jeremy...are all pretty much the same way.

I think that these days, with so many girls getting in the industry over the past 10 years that probably weren't really cut out for it caused them to have "regrets".
But other than being hot, those girls were probably never meant to be in porn.


Exactly. A person can choose to make lifestyle changes without having to regret anything.

Socks 10-21-2012 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmeliaG (Post 19265637)
Exactly. A person can choose to make lifestyle changes without having to regret anything.

I think a big part of the problem is that other people expect the regret in an "I told you so" way to prove their point. They won't be satisfied until they see the end of their judgement based science experiment, and revel in themselves when it does happen. When it doesn't, then you must be a liar, confused, or not at the regret stage yet.

There's no value to those people in you being happy or fine with your decisions.

SpicyM 10-21-2012 03:18 PM

It also depends on:

1. what kind of porn

2. what society you live in

AmeliaG 10-21-2012 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks (Post 19265656)
I think a big part of the problem is that other people expect the regret in an "I told you so" way to prove their point. They won't be satisfied until they see the end of their judgement based science experiment, and revel in themselves when it does happen. When it doesn't, then you must be a liar, confused, or not at the regret stage yet.

There's no value to those people in you being happy or fine with your decisions.


Very true. You are so right. I think that is why some talent claims they feel bad, even though they totally do not.

Robbie 10-21-2012 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmeliaG (Post 19265704)
Very true. You are so right. I think that is why some talent claims they feel bad, even though they totally do not.

And some of them (like Penny Flame for instance) figure out ways to make money by saying they were "sex addicts" or some of the girls who left the biz and get paid by religious groups to be "anti-porn".

And there is a legitimate percentage of them whom as I said were never really cut out for this business. Too many personal hangups and psychological problems with it because of the way they were raised to think.

Remember...here in America violence is good! (television, movies, video games, literature, etc.)
But sex is bad!

Kids must never know that daddy put his wee-wee in mommy's hoo-hoo to make the baby. And Junior must never, ever see a woman's breasts and Juniorette must never see a man's penis.

But the new "Saw" movie is something that all kids must watch. :(

Trend 10-21-2012 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbie (Post 19265741)
Remember...here in America violence is good! (television, movies, video games, literature, etc.)
But sex is bad!

Kids must never know that daddy put his wee-wee in mommy's hoo-hoo to make the baby. And Junior must never, ever see a woman's breasts and Juniorette must never see a man's penis.

But the new "Saw" movie is something that all kids must watch. :(

Mad respect for your statements on this topic :thumbsup

I work closely with some people who have the same outlook you do.

They got started in their 30's, have college educations, are actively involved in their communities .. and everyone knows who they are.

Neither they nor their families are "suffering" from their choice to be involved in the industry. As the matter of fact, it has opened more doors than it has closed.

shimmy2 10-21-2012 06:51 PM

no regrets here just pretty young thangs. mmm gonna get one right now

kane 10-21-2012 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbie (Post 19265741)
And some of them (like Penny Flame for instance) figure out ways to make money by saying they were "sex addicts" or some of the girls who left the biz and get paid by religious groups to be "anti-porn".

And there is a legitimate percentage of them whom as I said were never really cut out for this business. Too many personal hangups and psychological problems with it because of the way they were raised to think.

Remember...here in America violence is good! (television, movies, video games, literature, etc.)
But sex is bad!

Kids must never know that daddy put his wee-wee in mommy's hoo-hoo to make the baby. And Junior must never, ever see a woman's breasts and Juniorette must never see a man's penis.

But the new "Saw" movie is something that all kids must watch. :(

This is so true. I have a friend who is very religious. He and his wife literally spend 3-5 days per week doing stuff with the church they go to. They have two kids. Their daughter is 13 and their son is 11. They will not even let the kids watch a movie where someone is in a bathing suit because that might make them think impure thoughts, but they can watch movies where people are shot, stabbed and blown apart.

I question them on this and they tell me that they feel their kids are smart enough to understand that the violence is fake and pretend, but nudity (or bikinis/bathing suits) can put real lust in their hearts.

It is pretty disturbing.

The funny part is that these two were shaking up before they were married and when they got married she was pregnant with the daughter.

The Porn Nerd 10-21-2012 09:02 PM

No fucking regrets, ever.
Life is too short.

My girlfriend is a pornstar and she has no regrets.
I've made my own films and have no regrets.

We laugh every day we spend on the beach, living our dreams.

NO FUCKING REGRETS.

BlackCrayon 10-22-2012 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbie (Post 19265567)
I started out as male talent in my mid 30's in this business. Claudia Marie started in 2007 at the age of 33.

I'm sure a lot of girls start "young" and might regret it. But they were never really cut out for this business in the first place.

Most of the "real" porn people don't have the sexual hangups that most of society has and aren't burdened by what other people think.
For instance, if Claudia Marie were to quit porn right now...she could go try to get a "normal" job and make next to nothing and possibly have to worry about her boss firing her if he found out about her porn past.
OR...she could get a job as a bartender (that's what she did when I first met her) and make $500 and up a night in cash. OR...she could work full time at the strip club and make $1,000 and up a night (she makes real good money when she dances in clubs). OR...since we live in Las Vegas and she already has a sheriffs card (from dancing) she could deal cards at a casino and make good money as well.

Our families already know what we do for a living.

So there is an example of 2 people who have no regrets. And the longtime people that I know in this business: Minka, Kayla Kleevage, Ron Jeremy...are all pretty much the same way.

I think that these days, with so many girls getting in the industry over the past 10 years that probably weren't really cut out for it caused them to have "regrets".
But other than being hot, those girls were probably never meant to be in porn.

but do your kids know what you are doing? i would think that would be the only thing i would have a hard time with if i or my wife were/are a performer. how do you have that conversation?

Robbie 10-22-2012 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon (Post 19267061)
but do your kids know what you are doing?

They never did when they were little kids of course.

I kept a pretty "normal" household. Church on Sunday, they never saw any drinking (not even a beer) in our house, no cursing, etc.

Wanted to raise them right. When they got in high school of course I had to tell them. Their friends were already surfing Claudia Marie's site. lol

So when they each hit 15 I sat down with them and had the talk. They both already knew because of high school kids surfing porn and seeing their mom pick them up at school.

It was a scary talk for me to give. A lot of worry on my part. But because of the way we raised them as children and the examples we set in "real" life everyday...they both just kinda shrugged it off like it was nothing.

Coulda went the other way I suppose and turned out bad. But because of the career I have...I've been able to give them both a childhood that they could have never had otherwise. And a future they certainly couldn't have gotten if I had worked a minimum wage job.

Far-L 10-22-2012 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDeiz (Post 19263216)
A serious study. Please answer.

It's about whether or not a decent percentage of porn stars as well as porn beginners seriously regret of what they did once they quit.

Can they have a normal family life afterwards?
I see many issues at various community sites with a male or a female accusing/discovering their partner's porn film experience.

Please contribute if you know real-life examples of stuff like and how it gets resolved

The people that handle being "outed" best are the people that don't act as if they "made a mistake" or approach it as a profitable "mistake" to make.

Certainly, since I first came into the industry, perceptions changed drastically. The internet porn boom did a lot to normalize porn and push it into the mainstream. Suddenly, if wasn't necessarily something one did out of desperation, but might also be a shrewd and profitable move.

Tell Kim or Paris they ruined their lives doing porn.

Robbie 10-22-2012 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Far-L (Post 19267093)

Tell Kim or Paris they ruined their lives doing porn.

No shit...especially Kim Kardashian. She's built a freakin' empire off getting that nice fat ass jacked up online.

CourtneyR 10-22-2012 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmeliaG (Post 19265059)
There are lots of women who own everything they choose to do and are proud of the interesting adventures they have had and having been immortalized when they looked their sexy best. Most on-camera talent does not make that much money in aggregate, so it is not really all that much about the dough at the end of the day. There are also girls who get naked on camera who find it socially convenient to claim that they are ashamed and everything was awful, because some people will be nicer for it.

No matter what a person chooses to do, some people who take a certain path will regret something that others are forever proud of.

The internet tends to put everything down on a person's permanent record and that is only going to get to be more the case. Hopefully, people will ultimately become more open-minded, as we all see that everyone has a picture of themselves being dumb at a party or whatever.

I like the way you think :)

Trend 10-22-2012 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon (Post 19267061)
but do your kids know what you are doing? i would think that would be the only thing i would have a hard time with if i or my wife were/are a performer. how do you have that conversation?

Robbie did a terrific job of explaining. I would also like to add a position I heard the other day that made sense to me...

Background:
Married couple of nearly 20 years
Been in the industry both in front & behind camera for 9+ years
Raised Non Denominational Christian & Catholic

She said:

" I honestly have zero shame associated with being in the adult industry... why should I ... lets contrast the family & life our daughter has with mine.

In my conservative Christian family & upbringing there have been multiple divorces, domestic violence, anorexia, a suicide and a cross dressing anarchist. None of the family speaks any longer and there is no love for one another. All this from a church going family of engineers, finance executives, VP's and "C's"

Now contrast that with my immediate situation. A happily married couple who has always been able to "stay home" with the kids, a home full of love and financial stability. Our kids are all happy, well adjusted, have many friends and get all "A's" & "B's". Best of all they know with 100% certainty that mom and dad love each other ... they tease us about it constantly...

Soo.. yeah.... I'd rather be the happy hooker than the miserable engineer...

And if you asked our kids which home life they would prefer... they'll tell you ours "


Hard to argue with that!

MontrealDave 10-22-2012 11:12 AM

Non rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien!

Trend 10-22-2012 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MontrealDave (Post 19267141)
Non rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien!

~ Edith Piaf

2MuchMark 10-22-2012 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDeiz (Post 19263216)
A serious study. Please answer.

It's about whether or not a decent percentage of porn stars as well as porn beginners seriously regret of what they did once they quit.

Can they have a normal family life afterwards?
I see many issues at various community sites with a male or a female accusing/discovering their partner's porn film experience.

Please contribute if you know real-life examples of stuff like and how it gets resolved



The only people who should have any regrets are those who chastise people, friends, family for doing it.

slapass 10-22-2012 11:30 AM

Of course they do but so do women who work at Walmart.

CourtneyR 10-22-2012 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slapass (Post 19267181)
Of course they do but so do women who work at Walmart.

Not every performer who retires regrets it.

Those who only did shoots they enjoyed and felt comfortable with I feel come out better in the end of it all.

billywatson 10-22-2012 01:37 PM

I keep in touch with a fair amount of the girls I've shot over the last decade, and the majority of them don't regret it at all. I think a few wish they could erase a scene or two from their careers, but I've never heard a girl use the word "regret" when referring to her past career as an adult model.

slapass 10-23-2012 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CourtneyR_FFN (Post 19267188)
Not every performer who retires regrets it.

Those who only did shoots they enjoyed and felt comfortable with I feel come out better in the end of it all.

I should have put "some do". As we wander through life, our choices then block other options. So depending on how well situated you are now, this will effect your level of regret on your past choices.

Porn is a tough one as regardless of how comfortable you are with this as a choice, it is not exactly the byline you want when you go to join the PTA, etc. Even Robbie talked about how he did not bring work home into the house with his children.

SpicyM 10-23-2012 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyClips (Post 19265682)
NO!

It depends on what YOU want to do and not what a bunch of slaves/lemmings THINK of you. WHO CARES what others THINK of you?!!?!?!?

I disagree. If you live in a conservative country and you become known for doing porn, it can change your live no matter what you think. People may start to see you as someone doing something imoral and bad, you may lose a lot of friends, a boyfriend/girlfriend because of this, and without friends and good reputation among the society, you ask for troubles getting normal job and real relationship.

DamianJ 10-23-2012 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbie (Post 19265567)
I started out as male talent in my mid 30's in this business. Claudia Marie started in 2007 at the age of 33.

I'm sure a lot of girls start "young" and might regret it. But they were never really cut out for this business in the first place.

Most of the "real" porn people don't have the sexual hangups that most of society has and aren't burdened by what other people think.
For instance, if Claudia Marie were to quit porn right now...she could go try to get a "normal" job and make next to nothing and possibly have to worry about her boss firing her if he found out about her porn past.
OR...she could get a job as a bartender (that's what she did when I first met her) and make $500 and up a night in cash. OR...she could work full time at the strip club and make $1,000 and up a night (she makes real good money when she dances in clubs). OR...since we live in Las Vegas and she already has a sheriffs card (from dancing) she could deal cards at a casino and make good money as well.

Our families already know what we do for a living.

So there is an example of 2 people who have no regrets. And the longtime people that I know in this business: Minka, Kayla Kleevage, Ron Jeremy...are all pretty much the same way.

I think that these days, with so many girls getting in the industry over the past 10 years that probably weren't really cut out for it caused them to have "regrets".
But other than being hot, those girls were probably never meant to be in porn.

Or she could work as a big tilt whore charging a grand a pop.

Not that you would make her do that...

DWB 10-23-2012 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackmonsters (Post 19264035)
Cool!

I finally beat you at it.

:1orglaugh

I let you win.


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