There are too damn many people anyway. I take care of all the kids that come through my life as best I can, but I don't want any myself. I don't even want to get married. I'm sure when I'm older I'll be sad sometimes about that, but there it is.

I don't have any and I don't want them pretty soon !

You have way less than 10 years...trust me. My wife was in her late thirties and we had a tough time finding a solid egg for IVF. I know it can vary from female to female, but if your eggs are on the low spectrum of health/age ratio, you won't find out until later when it's too late. Some women have super eggs until they're 45, but that's rare. I would be getting worried at 35 if the egg quality is starting to decline. The thing is, there's no way you can know which end of the spectrum you'll fall on, no matter how healthy you think you are. Men's sperm is constantly regenerating, but your eggs are the ones you've had your entire life and they're aging with you.

I would suggest freezing some eggs TODAY if you think you may want to have kids later. I'm not even kidding. You can thank me in 10 years when you have a good, young, healthy egg to fertilize -- if you so choose to go down that path.

If not then you can always sell or donate it.

By the way, don't think about who you are now. You will be a different person in 7 to 10 years -- maybe worse or maybe better, but you'll be different.

If you can reasonable accommodate and REALLY want a child, I would advise having one and stop like I did if you're okay with just one.

I was on the fence for so long. Don't look at other people's kids, it's not the same feeling. It's a child between two parents, a mini you (both of you together). Totally different feeling than watching someone else's.

I honestly don't have a worse quality of life. We take turns going out / getting a babysitter for the times we want to go out together.

Usually the people that are good at making things work in life can easily pull this off.

I am 37 with a 6 and a 9 yr old daughter. Being a family guy is the best thing in the world.

this is really something you should hash out before getting married. if one person wants a kid and the other doesn't no matter what way it goes there is a good chance someone will harbor resentment towards the other for either keeping them from having the family they've dreamed of or burden them with kids they never really wanted.

having kids at first is a big eye opener. for me it was anyways, going from a carefree lifestyle to taking care of a newborn is just about as opposite as you can get. it was hard at first and there were times where i thought our lives were ruined but what a fool i was for thinking that. a newborn is a lot of work but they don't stay that forever (but try to enjoy every stage, don't wish time away) they get older and talk and walk and eventually go to the bathroom by themselves and you wonder how you lived without them, despite the sacrifice and losing some "free time" there is no amount of free time or partying that could ever equal the feeling i get when my son smiles, gives me a hug and tells me he loves me. its something i never understood until i experienced it. its not for everyone, don't bring children into the world that you dont really want but it can be pretty great.

I have 1. She came along earlier this year and has made my life better in so many ways but after I get home today I have to clean up poop from the carpet due to diaper overflow.

Having a child can restore your faith in humanity and it can be the most magical journey you will ever have the pleasure of in your lifetime. However it is EXPENSIVE. If your kid lands in the neo natal ICU at birth the bills are outrageous and if you have a kid with the wrong woman (like Brad Pit) it can cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars in attorney fees.

Any woman at any moment can make the decision to be a sociopath and all she has to do is say "I fear my safety and for the safetey of my children". Seriously this is all she has to keep repeating. She gets an attorney and that asshole will often not even require payment from her because that satanic goat molesting snake knows he or she can have the judge make the husband pay the legal bills. The attorney will coach her on what to say and almost certainly she will get whatever she wants which is to keep you away from your kids. Have fun paying thousands on Orwellian anger management/abuse classes, paying tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands on legal bills, have your career potentially ruined due to being labeled an abuser, and have your reputation damaged in addition to NOT SEEING YOUR KIDS. After all of the pain and fighting you might only end up with supervised visitation at a county facility with a cultural Marxist indoctrinated social worker with the IQ of a turnip who eyeballs you and scribbles things down while you interact with you kid.

EVERYONE should watch this video before having kids!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrE3ptwP1XQ

Right. Unless they turn out nothing like you.

If you have a boring life then you will probably like having kids...it's good for beta men...but if you are alpha AF like me then it's a shit deal...a lot of people have boring lives so kids are popular...but if you stand in front of a school and listen to them talk you realize they are dumb mother fuckers that only parents could love...a man can get used to anything even prison...but I am too good for that shit...serious post...

To be really blunt: if you're fairly sure - even a bit uncertain - you don't want kids, stand firm. Once you make that decision, you're going to be stuck with the consequences for the next 20+ years. Even longer if you have a "problem" child (my sister is law is fortysomething and she's still leaning on her parents and making their life hell). This is not like moving to a new city for a job that turns out to be shitty; you cannot go back to the way things were when you realise things don't work out the way you planned. Don't be pressured into doing something you're going to regret.

If you talk and it suddenly seems like a good idea, don't go and fuck without a condom ten minutes later. Think about it the next day, and the next, and the next. There's no great rush.

God damn do you project

The perks of having kids are great.... We just got back from a high school football game. What a great time.

I have a 7-year-old girl. I'm going on 37. I measure my life before my daughter, and since she's been here. I am happier, I have a purpose and everything else in the world doesn't matter. When you see your kid smile at you for the first time, there's nothing like it.

When you and your wife do Christmas, Easter, Tooth Fairy and see the magic, you'll understand. I can't explain this to you since you don't see kids in this perspective YET.

But the innocence you experience looking at something that resembles you is amazing.

I wouldn't mind having more...

And you don't know how quickly you could kill until someone messes with your kid.

And the negatives: sleep deprivation, home body, if you have a girl; nail painting. Daycare , clothing, food.. eh.. nothing too negative.

You are right but I am only projecting the part about goat molesting. Everything else is an accurate analysis of how these creatures are given free reign to abuse children. Did you watch the youtube video I posted?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrE3ptwP1XQ

I am 44. My wife is 30 and she wants a kid. Honnestly said, I am afraid.
I am afraid to loose my liberty.
I am afraid to have an handicaped kid.
I am afraid to get an assohole kid, like my brother is.
I am afraid that I will be a bad father.

I love kids, their smiles, funny faces, so naive and innocent, you just can't help it.
Always wanted to have three kids and a lovely family 😋 and one day I will😀 but for now I'm really happy to nurse my nephews/nieces, friends' kids when I see them and it's enough cause I don't have much free time.

Perhaps, it's more about meeting the right person in your life and then there won't be any questions or fears about being a parent.

In that case, suspect your wife of being a cheating bitch!

I'm just a few years older than you and my son is going to get a university Master degree this year :)

Is it selfish to say I don't want kids because I don't plan on being around until my shall we say "later years", which ultimately be unfair on the kid right ??

Nice honesty!

I did a shit load of paid testing before mine was born. I didn't care about the gender, but the health. If the health was bad or a bad chance of baby having something terrible, I have no issues terminating. That's just my choice.

I've noticed that my boy is taking after the way of life the wife and I have been living. He seems to take on the environment. Very happy kid, sweet, and all that good shit.

If you're debating and think you'll regret it later, just DO IT. Once, just one kid and see if that's all you want.

Once that moment or possibly is gone, you have to jump through hoops to make it happen.

I suggest making sure the relationship you have has handled issues well in the past and financially you're set. :thumbsup Good luck.

The world needs another child like a dog needs another flea.

Thanks man :)

Doesn't really matter if its selfish or not. If you think this way then yes, its best to not have kids. Kids don't need a parent who plans to drink themselves to death or whatever the reason might be for not being around in your 'later years'.

No problem. We just finished bath time. :) He takes his bottle and off to dreamland. Yes I still have time to work, workout and do shit. ;) :thumbsup

I have 1 son, had full custody of him since he was 2 when my ex and I divorced. He is now 17 (18 on Halloween) and a month ago started his 1st semester at Oklahoma State.

Yes kids are expensive and yes I had to sacrifice and miss out on some fun times with friends but I wouldn't change a thing, Getting to watch him grow from a helpless infant to the young man he is today has been the best journey of my life to date. And truth be told, even having a kid, I have still got to enjoy A LOT of awesome times both with him and without him

So many people I know have kids for no other reason than because their friends have kids and because "its the done thing" and so many more find they cant support them. If you didn't consciously think about it, you shouldn't do it.

35 here.
Never remotely considered having kids but life had other plans for me.
I have a 5 year old boy now and he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
If I could go back in time I wouldn't change a thing.

Things change. Women can not safely say they do not want kids and mean it, there is always a risk. The couple Scott is talking about (my friends too) the guy wanted kids badly, the woman had no intentions of ever having a child in her life. The guys sister had a new baby, first time the woman met said new baby, she wanted a kid, just like that.

Sadly it is not a happy home right now as has been said, which might have something to do with the wife making such a drastic switch to go from never to wanting. Who knows but all I know is women cannot say 100% they do not want a kid because it takes the tiniest of triggers to make them change their mind.

I knew before I was even a teenager that I never wanted children. Just don't have any interest in them. It's great for other people, but I personally never wanted to follow the LifeScript™ that most people blindly follow by getting married, having children and buying a house. It's interesting how many people in this thread say they or their spouse didn't want children but now they have them as if by accident. I couldn't imagine undergoing such a radical life change and financial commitment by unplanned happenstance.

I'm 33 and my wife and I have a 4 year old boy. We're still thinking either to have a second one or not.
Having a kid might change a few things here and there in your life but is some wonderful and I can't imagine my life without my boy.
Is not entirely true that once you have a child you'll lose your freedom and radically change your life style. I'm still doing what I always liked to do, it's true that I cut some of the list but that comes with the age anyway. The only "bad" thing are the sleepless nights or when they get sick and you can't or don't know what to do to make them feel better.
Proud to be a dad!