| Ironhorse |
09-22-2024 09:50 AM |
Ok I'm back, let's try this again. This is an attempt to clear up any debt I may have from my involvement in the adult industry up to 2006.
Shortly after I posted this message at the end of 2019 I got very ill and had to quit my job, a small agency contract at the time. A month or so later when I finally came around, Covid happened and I got caught in a galactic musical chairs situation. Between jobs I had no government financial relief, downtown Chicago all but vanished and there was no work anywhere. On top of that my ailing laptop was overheating constantly and then just died on me adding to the crisis. Eventually I pulled through doing odd jobs and saved up enough to afford a PC powerhouse last year and I'm now in a position to give this another go, return to graphic design, and square up loose ends as was my intention with this thread.
Specifically some of those loose ends involve my abrupt departure from adult biz in 2006. I noted some of those reasons in my initial post but the primary reason was a painful divorce I was going through at the time. Besides the emotional crisis and my poor attempt to mitigate that via drinking, women and drugs, the fundamental issue was a very realistic threat that my ex would hold my involvement in porn as a means to interfere with getting shared custody of my two kids. So the decision to distance myself from porn was a no-brainer and after some reflection I made the decision to make radical changes, got a full time job in mainstream design, moved across the state to isolate from the party culture I had surrounded myself in, gave up drugs, turned 50 lbs. of fat into lean muscle, etc. It took a long time to sort things out but my efforts paid off, although it took a long time to erase my past. I had used my real name in various adult forums and Google doesn't let you forget.
To be fair, I tried my best to make a clean departure from porn. As far as I recalled I didn't skip out on technically "active" projects. I had one pay site tour I was working on and with everything going on it took longer than the client expected and I issued a refund plus handed over the PSD designs that I believe Zuzana took over and finished, it was one of her first jobs I think. I had another deposit that I intended to complete but by now I had a full time job and I issued a full refund on that as well. There were a couple of clients also from the boards but had only mainstream projects and I continued working with them on and off for many years on various projects.
But there were a couple of other repeat clients that had credit with me, either because overpaying on another job or picking up a promo I offered around the time that they intended to take advantage of at a later time. I had always intended to address that but by the time I became successful in mainstream design and sorting out the divorce and the rest of it, I honestly forgot all about porn and had put it all behind me. My ex continued to be a pain in the ass and booty calls me even after all this time, although I keep rejecting her. But anyway I have identified a couple of the clients and below is a list. There may have been another $50 credit here and there but honestly I don't remember, I lost a lot of the data over the years, so if you have a claim please reply.
1. Gunner - I am already in contact with him, he has my private email and phone number and has accepted my offer of a 300% return on his investment in the form of the best design work I have ever done. I am excited to work with him again and hopefully put all this behind us. I have met him in person at a Chicago convention during all my drama and he's a super cool guy and I hope I can redeem myself.
2. Uncle D - I think he's the guy that used to run Amateur Upskirts. He had overpaid on a banner promo and it had been months between that and my departure. I have tried to locate him but seems he's not active on this board and I can't locate him.
3. Anybody else?
So what am I doing here? Well part of growing up is reflecting on your mistakes and if possible try to correct them. Sometimes that means addressing a financial situation and sometimes it's issuing an apology for emotional pain your actions might have caused, intentional or not.
But moving forward, after some time away from the digital space, I am determined to get back to the things I love and that's digital art and interaction design. And while I am primarily focused on the non-adult space as far as graphic design, these days there is nothing holding me back from adult design and porn which I also love. I understand that the "Johnny come lately" phenomenon may have a limited audience but I intend to prove myself again from the ground up if necessary by producing top quality work at competitive prices with fair terms to ensure safe transactions. I've cranked out a mini portfolio last week because I still want to keep adult/non-adult separate for obvious reasons. You can check it at the link below or I'll add to my sig if it breaks the rules. It's a work in progress and I only spent a few days on it but you get the idea.
The porn industry, and web design in general, has changed a lot in all these years and while I will consider most projects I am far more interested in a permanent situation aka "job" where I can leverage the many years of tried and tested problem solving across many industries and platforms. Many people think of graphic design as solely an artistic expression but it's really a problem solving effort - solving complex business problems in creative ways.
Anyway I accept that my leaving porn was sloppy at best and I don't expect any applause, I'm just trying to do the right thing and make a living doing the things I love. So if you have any claims I forgot or want to chime in, go for it.
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