Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back had some of the funniest lines


"No the clit is real. Its the female orgasm that's the myth."

"What the fuck is the Internet?"

"The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another. "

"Do you know that I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it. That's right. I was gonna call it "N.W.P." - Niggaz With Puppets. Catchy, ain't it?"

:1orglaugh

"mmmm...yeah....that's it.....that's exactly what i need....uhuh....give it to me....cmon ya little fucker let's go.....that's what i need....let's do that, LET'S DO EXACTLY THAT YA LITTLE FUCK..."

also


"I did nothing....I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be."


same movie for both

"He must of thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?"
"Naw, man, it ain't white boy day.'



best scene in any movie. ever --->

COCCOTTI - "Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm a Sicilian. And my old man was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. And from growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. Now there are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen.
And if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. What we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin'. But you're tellin' me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won't walk away from."


CLIFF - "Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?"

COCCOTTI - "Sure."

CLIFF - "Got a match?"

CLIFF - "Oh, don't bother. I got one. So you're a Sicilian, huh?"

COCCOTTI - "Uh-huh."

CLIFF - "You know I read a lot. Especially things that have to do with history. I find that shit fascinating. In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by ******s."

COCCOTTI - "Come again?"

CLIFF - "It's a fact. Sicilians have ****** blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are ******s. Way back then, Sicilians were like the wops in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did
so much fuckin' with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line for ever, from blond hair and blue eyes to black hair and dark skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that ****** gene. I'm just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Your ancestors were ******s. Your great, great, great, great, great-
grandmother was fucked by a ******, and had a half-****** kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin'?"