"There is a diet Pepsi in the fridge."

or

"Collect yourself and your cheap garments promptly and leave. When I descend from my penthouse lair handsomely clad and fresh for my morning stroll, I do not suffer gladly wading through the tangled mess of a taken soiled tramp."

LOL... Actually I have heard that one.....

thanks....now, can you move? you're blocking the TV

:1orglaugh

Um, ...(pause)... did you cum?

how about a sandwich?

Once I was with this lady just alittle older than me and just before we were about to do it I said to her " Your the oldest woman I have ever been with" Now just think the loudest you have ever heard somebody yell "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"


YEAH IT TOOK ALOT TO GET THAT ASS AFTER THAT ONE.

Is this going to happen every night, dad?

Your breath smells worse than a fags asshole.

Quite friendly, actually...

Reminds me of a Carlin quote, "Smells worse than an anchovie's hahahaha!" :1orglaugh

"I like dwarfs better."

"Your pussy is like the inside of a tyre!"

You know, sugar, the sight of my pubic hair stuck in your teeth is SOOOOO hilarious!:1orglaugh

how much do i owe ya

got change for $5

hey, what do you want me to do with the spare change and the remote I found while I was in there...

:1orglaugh

I don't know, but the worst thing you can do to your wife <i>during</i> sex is......phone her.

Errr...I think I lost my watch...Could you spread your legs again...Oh! There they are! Oh...Do you know where my cell phone is? Oh, noooo! Not again!:1orglaugh

that fucking great:1orglaugh

Stand up bitch , move UR fat ass into the kitchen and bring me some beer...

...that sucks !

"Where are my slippers bitch?"

Damn I was too drunk

"Get up.... get off me..... get out. And make me a sandwich on the way out"

:helpme

"is it in yet?"

:1orglaugh


(never happened to me, I swear!)

"That was SO much better than all of those corpses. You're warm."

Where's my dick ?

goodnight dad

"that was even better than prison sex"

:thumbsup

After doing it doggy style..."Shit you moved and spilled my beer that was holding on your back..."

"wow, sex with women isnt bad. Up until you, I've only been with other guys."

Your pussy is a helluva lot tighter than your mom's.

"Father O'Malley, do I HAVE to touch it again?"
- Little Timmy, Grade 6

you dumb bitch! Your nothing but a dead fuck!!!!!!

You skunk !

You sweaty, smelly bitch !

I am doing my best to make you come, several times...

And then you throw me off ???

It's time for you to shave.

"Move.. I gotta go check stats"

ha a girl actually asked me that back in november. :1orglaugh

are we done? the 3rd quarter must have started now

...while you give her a cockring in a small red box...

Do you want to merry me ?

Go get me a pizza.

Thanks, you can sleep on the floor or go home.

Looks like you have some good experience ? :Graucho

Honestly, after sex I would ask her to give me a nice after suck :thumbsup

You got to hurry.

Your next customer is waiting.

Definitly not . I kicked ass of this lousy fucker !

:thumbsup

I'll be right back.. I wanna make sure the webcam was working okay... :Graucho

you aren't going to press charges....right?