Ohh, btw. what's your name? :glugglug

The worse thing I said afterwards was Damn your like a dead fuck, I will say this I WILL NEVER SAY That again.... She is my ex now and till this day she rembers it and sorry just don't work this was 7 years ago when I said it.

TOM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh that's a funny one

I want to have your abortion.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

i crapped my diaper

I VOTE FOR THIS ONE!! :thumbsup

"Please pass the TV remote to me, honey"

Dave
www.davecummings.com

Gee I hope those sores in my mouth clear up soon!

I sharted:1orglaugh

"There is a diet Pepsi in the fridge."

or

"Collect yourself and your cheap garments promptly and leave. When I descend from my penthouse lair handsomely clad and fresh for my morning stroll, I do not suffer gladly wading through the tangled mess of a taken soiled tramp."

LOL... Actually I have heard that one.....

thanks....now, can you move? you're blocking the TV

:1orglaugh

Um, ...(pause)... did you cum?

how about a sandwich?

Once I was with this lady just alittle older than me and just before we were about to do it I said to her " Your the oldest woman I have ever been with" Now just think the loudest you have ever heard somebody yell "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"


YEAH IT TOOK ALOT TO GET THAT ASS AFTER THAT ONE.

Is this going to happen every night, dad?

Your breath smells worse than a fags asshole.

Quite friendly, actually...

Reminds me of a Carlin quote, "Smells worse than an anchovie's hahahaha!" :1orglaugh

"I like dwarfs better."

"Your pussy is like the inside of a tyre!"

You know, sugar, the sight of my pubic hair stuck in your teeth is SOOOOO hilarious!:1orglaugh

how much do i owe ya

got change for $5

hey, what do you want me to do with the spare change and the remote I found while I was in there...

:1orglaugh

I don't know, but the worst thing you can do to your wife <i>during</i> sex is......phone her.

Errr...I think I lost my watch...Could you spread your legs again...Oh! There they are! Oh...Do you know where my cell phone is? Oh, noooo! Not again!:1orglaugh

that fucking great:1orglaugh

Stand up bitch , move UR fat ass into the kitchen and bring me some beer...

...that sucks !

"Where are my slippers bitch?"

Damn I was too drunk

"Get up.... get off me..... get out. And make me a sandwich on the way out"

:helpme

"is it in yet?"

:1orglaugh


(never happened to me, I swear!)

"That was SO much better than all of those corpses. You're warm."

Where's my dick ?

goodnight dad

"that was even better than prison sex"

:thumbsup