If you dont find this funny you simply have NOOO humor LMFAO - GoFuckYourself.com

Loch · 09-07-2004, 03:26 AM

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Prada suit, Gucci shoes, Dior sunglasses and D&G tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the
internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulae.

He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised HP LaserJet printer, turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1,586 sheep".

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car. Then the shepherd says to the young man: "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says: "Okay, why not?".

"You're a consultant," says the shepherd.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked and you know f-all about my business.

"Now give me back my dog."

EscortBiz · 09-07-2004, 03:28 AM

lol havent heard such a good one in a while

punch line give me back my dog

Darren · 09-07-2004, 03:28 AM

not bad

reynold · 09-07-2004, 03:30 AM

yeah that's a funny one. but didn't knock me off my chair.

chodadog · 09-07-2004, 03:31 AM

Aza · 09-07-2004, 03:36 AM

hahahah good one!

NoEngrish · 09-07-2004, 03:40 AM

hehehe nice one

Tricksy · 09-07-2004, 03:46 AM

Quite interesting

Doctor Dre · 09-07-2004, 03:49 AM

gimmie back my dog :P pathetic

margarita · 09-07-2004, 04:01 AM

good, but quite old, althought 5x longer than version I've heard

neverlearn · 09-07-2004, 04:04 AM

Shoehorn! · 09-07-2004, 04:13 AM

Nicky · 09-07-2004, 04:16 AM

hehehe, good one!!

body · 09-07-2004, 04:16 AM

not bad

Corleone · 09-07-2004, 04:18 AM

Wiggles · 09-07-2004, 06:01 AM

haha thats a pretty good one

09-07-2004, 03:26 AM	#1
Loch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,674	If you dont find this funny you simply have NOOO humor LMFAO A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Prada suit, Gucci shoes, Dior sunglasses and D&G tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulae. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised HP LaserJet printer, turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1,586 sheep". "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car. Then the shepherd says to the young man: "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says: "Okay, why not?". "You're a consultant," says the shepherd. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?" "No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked and you know f-all about my business. "Now give me back my dog." __________________ Contact us for Beta store access (4000 HD/SD productions) - Editing - Encoding/Post production ICQ - 277 862 930 E-mail casper /@/ cool-content.com

09-07-2004, 03:28 AM	#2
EscortBiz Fuck Checks, CASH only! Join Date: May 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 19,422	lol havent heard such a good one in a while punch line give me back my dog __________________ Spanking, Medical Fetish, Sleeping, Strap-on Anal Lesbians, Girls Fucking Guys, Handjob site REAL HOT, Shemales, Anal and Ass Licking sites 100% Real EXCLUSIVE with amazing retention, ccbill payouts, lots of content FREE FTP HOSTING Promote the largest and oldest member paid escort site, Converts 10 times better then any dating site, CCBill payouts ICQ# 158802076

09-07-2004, 03:28 AM	#3
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09-07-2004, 03:31 AM	#5
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	__________________ 26 + 6 = 1

09-07-2004, 03:36 AM	#6
Aza Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 818	hahahah good one! __________________ Dollars 4 Babes Now with PPS! 13 Of The Highest Quality Sites To Promote Over 1000 Of The Best Free Hosted Galleries Hotlink Thumbs & Multiple Description Lengths

09-07-2004, 03:30 AM	#4
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	yeah that's a funny one. but didn't knock me off my chair.

09-07-2004, 03:40 AM	#7
NoEngrish Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 364	hehehe nice one __________________

09-07-2004, 03:46 AM	#8
Tricksy Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: USA Posts: 2,601	Quite interesting __________________ Real-Bucks.com - Real Bucks for Real Webmasters.

09-07-2004, 04:01 AM	#10
margarita Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 917	good, but quite old, althought 5x longer than version I've heard __________________ Check out my favourite kinky sponsor and must-have tool Nifty Stats

09-07-2004, 04:04 AM	#11
neverlearn Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Banners, FPA, HPA, FLASH, Illustration, Web Design, Print, posters, business cards, LOGOS ...ICQ 210-450-833 Posts: 2,085	__________________ DICK TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

09-07-2004, 04:13 AM	#12
Shoehorn! Die With Your Boots On Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hawaii Posts: 22,872	__________________

09-07-2004, 04:16 AM	#13
Nicky Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,069	hehehe, good one!! __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

09-07-2004, 04:16 AM	#14
body Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 5,014	not bad __________________ The Goddess Of Steps

09-07-2004, 04:18 AM	#15
Corleone C.R.E.A.M Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,262

09-07-2004, 06:01 AM	#16
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	haha thats a pretty good one __________________ no sig