Originally Posted by phogirl69

I already do, I am the one who has been paying for EVERYTHING in the last 7 months, because he has no job. The thing is though that I am not a gold digger, I don't look for men who have "money" because I can take care of myself, and to be honest, I don't mind taking care of a man financially at all.

I was even going to help him get in the biz by starting him out submitting galleries or something like that and helping him to make some $. The only thing that I don't do is cook a lot, because that is my boyfriend's ultimate hobby. He LOVES to cook, and he is extremely picky about what he buys because he is a health nut, he always buys the most expensive organic ingredients that are 4x the regular price and he is so health conscious that he won't even freeze food, he has to buy fresh food everyday.

So one day I just told him to just buy regular food and buy a lot of stuff at one time so he doesn't make trips all the time because it is inconvenient. And then he said I am disrespectful and trying to change him, because food has always been important to him, and that I don't respect him, and that I am cheap even though to him I make decent money. So it escalated where he got real pissed and started throwing stuff around and saying i don't respect him because men go to war, and that i am trying to be a man because I always try and tell him what to do.

But the thing is that it's MY money he is using so I don't think it's SO bad that give him suggestions. If he doesn't like it, we can talk about it civilly, I don't really care THAT much about money, it's just that he has a VERY bad temper and started throwing stuff around and yelling, over something so trivial.

As for talking about my probs with people in real life, I have lots of people to talk to, I just don't want them to know by biz though, or know the things that we fight about it or how bad his temper can be because it is so private. It is weird but I feel better telling people who don't know me at all, because I feel they are less biased and I don't want people in real life to know my business.

But even though I pay for everything 95% of the time, he still gets upset just because I gave him a small suggestion of how to spend my money. He thinks that it is "our" money since we agree to be with each other long term, but I don't feel that it is so unreasonable. He made it seem like I "fucked him over" even though I have been basically supporting and feeding him and doing everything for him, even trying to get him in the biz and teach him everything I know!

Originally Posted by psyko514

Listen to this women. She knows a few things about keeping men in line.

Also, remind your boyfriend that there are also female soldiers who go to war.

Originally Posted by ssp

You need to find yourself a man who can appreciate you for the person that you are.

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

the most common advice of fat, stupid and/or ugly people.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Originally Posted by ssp

He's right, shut up.

Originally Posted by Drunkspringbreakgirls

Sitting home playing videos games all day because you are pussy whipped is not healthy. He should have friends he goes out with (even if its not to clubs) as you should as well.

Originally Posted by phogirl69

Also, people keep asking on here why I won't leave him. He does have a lot of very good qualities and I just can't leave because I am too attached.

Besides the horrible temper...

Originally Posted by MrPheer

You both have issues. He has severe insecurities, and you bring your personal life to GFY.

Originally Posted by ssp

He's right, shut up.

Originally Posted by fl_prn_str

Those women are needy, clingy and co-dependant. They are from abusive and/or dysfunctional families so they believe what is askew is NORMAL. They also have that ?I love the bad guy? or ?I can change him? attitude. The only problem is she will never be able to change him and his bad guy image is only a front for some major psychological trauma caused in his childhood.

Do yourself a favor "CUT THE CORD".

I hope your insurance covers my rates.

Originally Posted by L0stMind

Well, I can't believe a girl like you is still with this guy. Actually, I can, I read the other thread about him...

Still shaking my head though. Leave him already, give him a coupon for some serious counselling and leave... maybe he'll use it and get better (as he is mentally sick).

And you best watchout, before you get beaten severely... men like that are unpredictable.

Originally Posted by MrPheer

You both have issues. He has severe insecurities, and you bring your personal life to GFY.

Originally Posted by phogirl69

Also, people keep asking on here why I won't leave him. He does have a lot of very good qualities and I just can't leave because I am too attached.

Besides the horrible temper, he is good to me; he always cooks for me, when I was sick he would bring me food or cook for me 3-4 times a day, he doesn't go out (I am sick of guys who go out everynight clubbing/drinking with their friends and checking out other girls), he is faithful ( I know he is because he doesn't go ANYWHERE, he is always home with me, all he does is play Counterstrike all day), he is sensitive. I know he is ready to settle down, because he stopped going out with all his friends and partying, like he used to before me, he basically made me his life and I know he is ready to be with me for the rest of his life.

I think it evens out that I pay for stuff because he really takes care of me, cooks for me, always makes sure I am ok, he really does do a lot of things for me, more than most guys I think would do for someone. It's just that he has
the WORST temper ever.

Originally Posted by CDSmith

Let's see if I have this right...

he has no job, yet has impeccable taste in food and spends your money to buy "only the best"
he puts you down for being a woman
tells you to "know your place"
stays home, doesn't look for a job and plays computer games all day
has a horrible temper
gets angry and condescending when he doesn't get his way

Oh yeah, this guy is a GREAT catch. Phogirl, it looks to me like you're just going to have to learn the hard way. I don't wish you any heartbreak, but the sad fact is that judging by what you're telling me of the guy you are headed for a major letdown.

I get the distinct impression that the only reason this guy stays loyal to you is because you are his full-time personal meal ticket. Don't fool yourself, there are plenty of other guys out there who do all those things he does for you but who also have some drive and initiative when it comes to earning a living. There are plenty of guys who have a much higher respect for women than the lazy mommy's boy you call a boyfriend.

Sorry to say it, but I'm 100% sure your present relationship is a trainwreck in progress.

Originally Posted by ssp

You can tell the woman this stuff a thousand times, but it won't matter. She only came here to whine.. I figured it out now.

Originally Posted by CDSmith

That's why I refrained from telling her to leave him.

She has to figure it out on her own, obviously.

In light of that fact I'm not sure why she even mentioned it on the board. All too often I see someone describe their problem publicly, then proceed to reject and ignore all the good advice they asked for.

Incredible.

Originally Posted by phogirl69

Also, people keep asking on here why I won't leave him. He does have a lot of very good qualities and I just can't leave because I am too attached.

Besides the horrible temper, he is good to me; he always cooks for me, when I was sick he would bring me food or cook for me 3-4 times a day, he doesn't go out (I am sick of guys who go out everynight clubbing/drinking with their friends and checking out other girls), he is faithful ( I know he is because he doesn't go ANYWHERE, he is always home with me, all he does is play Counterstrike all day), he is sensitive. I know he is ready to settle down, because he stopped going out with all his friends and partying, like he used to before me, he basically made me his life and I know he is ready to be with me for the rest of his life.

I think it evens out that I pay for stuff because he really takes care of me, cooks for me, always makes sure I am ok, he really does do a lot of things for me, more than most guys I think would do for someone. It's just that he has
the WORST temper ever.

Originally Posted by titmowse

I'll say it again. Men are stupid. Get a dog.

Originally Posted by Cassie

yes, do yourself a favor and settledown with an all day counterstrike player with no hopes of a career, no ambition, no income so you can support more of his gaming habit and continue to come to the boards complaining about your relationship.

either he is good to you or he isn't.....you can't have it both ways because before you know it, something will happen and no one will take you seriously because you cried wolf too many times.

Originally Posted by phogirl69

I already do, I am the one who has been paying for EVERYTHING in the last 7 months, because he has no job.

Originally Posted by Lee

BTW technically speaking, I wouldnt class playing counterstrike all day as "Going to war".

Originally Posted by phogirl69

I don't come from a dysfunctional family. He is the one that does, so that's why he thinks it's normal, not me. But my family is nowhere as dysfunctional as his, his is 10x worse.