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-   -   Bones of JESUS found! Christians SHOCKED! (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=709343)

Splum 02-25-2007 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldmine (Post 11971029)
Repent your sins you heathen! And stop posting blasphemous thread you heretic! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I have atoned for my sins and will continue to do so. I find your humor perplexing but then again most atheists arent very funny people anyways. Hell how can they be when they believe in nothing.

Splum 02-25-2007 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkJedi (Post 11971039)
"Shroud of Turin" Google it, asswipe.

We dont know for a fact that is Jesus burial shroud, according to scientists the shroud couldnt possibly have covered Jesus body as it wasnt from the same period of time when he died. Shrug.

Splum 02-25-2007 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornopete (Post 11971061)
The best part is a movie producer made the discoveries!

Actually Cameron didnt find the bodies, construction crews found the tomb then Israeli archaeologists took over from there. The tomb was found in 1980, Cameron just put a documentary together.

CyberHustler 02-25-2007 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum (Post 11971262)
We dont know for a fact that is Jesus burial shroud, according to scientists the shroud couldnt possibly have covered Jesus body as it wasnt from the same period of time when he died. Shrug.

when I was in catholic school my teacher said they carbon dated a piece of it and it was proved to be around during Jesus's time... could just be another lie they told me though.

StuartD 02-25-2007 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum (Post 11971262)
We dont know for a fact that is Jesus burial shroud, according to scientists the shroud couldnt possibly have covered Jesus body as it wasnt from the same period of time when he died. Shrug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkJedi (Post 11971039)
"Shroud of Turin"

Google it, asswipe.

Now shut it ass wipe.

Theo 02-25-2007 09:39 AM

Jesus’ body was covered with some material that exists in Vatican. I'm not sure if you can get a dna sample from it.

Theo 02-25-2007 09:40 AM

i saw recently a documentary on this (funny the timing) and i think it was accepted by catholic church.

Splum 02-25-2007 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD (Post 11971278)
Now shut it ass wipe.

What the fuck are you talking about? I am Christian I went to Christian schools I know what the Shroud of Turin is and I know what scientists have said about it. But just to appease your ignorant ass...

Quote:

The Vatican (who presently own the cloth) have allowed only one set of radiocarbon dating experiments upon the shroud. The only official radiocarbon tests upon the Shroud in 1988 reported a medieval timeframe for the cloth's production. Analysis of the image by Chemist Walter McCrone in 1981, showed that iron oxide was present upon the cloth, and from this he theorised that medieval pigments (which contain iron oxide) were used in some way to form the image of a human body.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shroud_of_Turin

Kimo 02-25-2007 09:46 AM

wow this is amazing

Love Sex 02-25-2007 09:47 AM

for those wondering about the dna, it could have been fossilized, the same way we have dinosaur dna.

Love Sex 02-25-2007 09:48 AM

Jesus died in a gang bang

Splum 02-25-2007 09:49 AM

The DNA testing wasnt done to determine the bones were from Jesus the DNA testing were done to see if each set of bones was family. The tomb marked "Jesus" and the tomb marked "Mary Magdalene" were found by DNA testing to not be related, which could only mean they were husband and wife as they were buried in the same tomb.

StuartD 02-25-2007 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum (Post 11971288)
What the fuck are you talking about? I am Christian I went to Christian schools I know what the Shroud of Turin is and I know what scientists have said about it. But just to appease your ignorant ass...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shroud_of_Turin

I wasn't saying that to you.

I was talking to DorkJedi.... he heard someone speak of it once upon a time and poked his nose in here all high and mighty like he knew the secrets of the universe.

Praguer 02-25-2007 10:00 AM

Wow! check out the discussion posts at the bottom of the page, LOOOOOL.

Posted by joe
February 25, 2007
"Another attack on Christianity that won't prove to be true. Hollywood just wants to get rid of Christianity because they all love drugs, 12-year-old whores and getting drunk all the time and living a gay lifestyle"

tony286 02-25-2007 10:02 AM

You mean a book of fairy tales isnt real amazing

Theo 02-25-2007 10:02 AM

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ve_compare.jpg

Splum 02-25-2007 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD (Post 11971315)
I wasn't saying that to you. I was talking to DorkJedi.... he heard someone speak of it once upon a time and poked his nose in here all high and mighty like he knew the secrets of the universe.

Noted my bad on GFY Im used to getting attacked. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

psili 02-25-2007 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD (Post 11971315)
I wasn't saying that to you.

I was talking to DorkJedi.... he heard someone speak of it once upon a time and poked his nose in here all high and mighty like he knew the secrets of the universe.

See Stu, this is much like the last thread where I apologized: one person can read the exact same words but interpret them differently than another. And it really is quite fascinating when you put it into perspective that it's been happening since the written word has existed.

Splum 02-25-2007 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psili (Post 11971383)
See Stu, this is much like the last thread where I apologized: one person can read the exact same words but interpret them differently than another. And it really is quite fascinating when you put it into perspective that it's been happening since the written word has existed.

Actually its StuartDs fault that I read that wrong, he quoted us out of order, in order to express what he wanted to express Stuart should have quoted DarkJedi first THEN my comment which was in response to DarkJedis comment... instead he quoted DarkJedi after my comment which made it seem like DarkJedi was answering me and StuartD agreeing with him.

DarkJedi 02-25-2007 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum (Post 11971388)
Actually its StuartDs fault that I read that wrong, he quoted us out of order, in order to express what he wanted to express Stuart should have quoted DarkJedi first THEN my comment which was in response to DarkJedis comment... instead he quoted DarkJedi after my comment which made it seem like DarkJedi was answering me and StuartD agreeing with him.


If the DNA from the Shroud and the newfound bones match, it most probably is Jesus.

OMG Jim 02-25-2007 11:29 AM

HOLLYWOOD !

_

DWB 02-25-2007 11:50 AM

God told me that this is all true.

Drake 02-25-2007 11:58 AM

Black Jesus?

IllTestYourGirls 02-25-2007 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum (Post 11971258)
Are you dense? Jesus the man truly existed idiot. Are you sure you are old enough to comment in this thread? Either that or I suggest you lay off the drugs. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

facts:

Paul and the writers of all four canonical Gospels described the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, as they understood it had happened. There is a acknowledged consensus among academic Christian theologians that:

* The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not written by Jesus' disciples but by a person or persons whose names are unknown.

* Neither Paul nor any of the Gospel writers had been an eyewitness to Jesus' ministry or death.

* The Gospels record the beliefs and memories of various Christian groups as they had evolved at the time they were written.

____________

There is no reference to Jesus' death having any redeeming function; in fact, there is no mention of the crucifixion at all. John E. Remsburg's The Christ: A Critical Review and Analysis of the Evidence of His Existence, lists the following writers who lived during the time, or within a century after the time, that Jesus is supposed to have lived:

* Josephus
* Philo-Judææus
* Seneca
* Pliny Elder
* Arrian
* Petronius
* Dion Pruseus
* Paterculus
* Suetonius
* Juvenal
* Martial
* Persius
* Plutarch
* Pliny Younger



* Tacitus
* Justus of Tiberius
* Apollonius
* Quintilian
* Lucanus
* Epictetus
* Hermogones Silius Italicus
* Statius
* Ptolemy
* Appian
* Phlegon
* Phæædrus
* Valerius Maximus
* Lucian



* Pausanias
* Florus Lucius
* Quintius Curtius
* Aulus Gellius
* Dio Chrysostom
* Columella
* Valerius Flaccus
* Damis
* Favorinus
* Lysias
* Pomponius Mela
* Appion of Alexandria
* Theon of Smyrna

Enough of the writings of the authors named in the foregoing list remains to form a library. Yet in this mass of Jewish and Pagan literature, according to Remsburg, "aside from two forged passages in the works of a Jewish author, and two disputed passages in the works of Roman writers, there is to be found no mention of Jesus Christ." Nor, do any of these authors make note of the Disciples or Apostles -- :thumbsup

IllTestYourGirls 02-25-2007 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soul_Rebel (Post 11971334)

clearly a fake like the 1000s of other shrouds that were made by everyone and his brother to try to lay claim to Jesus's fame and power.

Easiest way to tell the shroud is fake... cover your face in paint then when the paint is still wet take a white sheet and wrap your head in it. Then remove the white sheet. What does the paint on the sheet look like? It is distorted and stretched out from ear to ear almost doubling the width of your face. The same thing would have happened to the shroud if Jesus had burnt his image into it.


Simple surface area problem.

next....

Pleasurepays 02-25-2007 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls (Post 11971808)
facts:

Paul and the writers of all four canonical Gospels described the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, as they understood it had happened. There is a acknowledged consensus among academic Christian theologians that:

* The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not written by Jesus' disciples but by a person or persons whose names are unknown.

* Neither Paul nor any of the Gospel writers had been an eyewitness to Jesus' ministry or death.

* The Gospels record the beliefs and memories of various Christian groups as they had evolved at the time they were written.



sorry.... but you have to go to hell now.


not my rules

don't hate the player...
hate the game

Splum 02-25-2007 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls (Post 11971808)
Enough of the writings of the authors named in the foregoing list remains to form a library. Yet in this mass of Jewish and Pagan literature, according to Remsburg, "aside from two forged passages in the works of a Jewish author, and two disputed passages in the works of Roman writers, there is to be found no mention of Jesus Christ." Nor, do any of these authors make note of the Disciples or Apostles -- :thumbsup

Jesus is obviously the greatest conspiracy in history. You are right he never existed, please tell the billions of muslims, christians, jews, as well as hundreds of thousands of scholars, scientists, archaeologists they are all wrong because a man named Jesus lived 2000 years ago.

Please cite your source so I can rape it thanks.

Theo 02-25-2007 02:29 PM

Pausanias and Lysias lived and died before christ was born,i dont see how they should had written about him

baddog 02-25-2007 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty Dane (Post 11970189)
How do they know his DNA? :1orglaugh

That is what I was wondering too

uno 02-25-2007 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profits of Doom (Post 11970559)
Jesus Soup....yummy!

He told people to drink his blood and eat his flesh. I don't see why making soup out of his bones would be out of the question.

Alky 02-25-2007 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uno (Post 11972310)
He told people to drink his blood and eat his flesh. I don't see why making soup out of his bones would be out of the question.

Did he mean that literally? I wasn't to sure if Jesus wanted his followers to be cannibals or not. :)

pornguy 02-25-2007 02:57 PM

The church will never allow this to be completely proven, and give it a shroud of question, and say " God works in mysterious ways."

Porko 02-25-2007 03:27 PM

really hard to prove..
and if they can prove it, ppl will still believing in Jesus..

aico 02-25-2007 03:42 PM

you mean they really believed he came back to life? really?? Baw hah hah hah hah.

Does this mean churches have to pay taxes now?

webmasterchecks 02-25-2007 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls (Post 11971820)
clearly a fake like the 1000s of other shrouds that were made by everyone and his brother to try to lay claim to Jesus's fame and power.

yes, clearly a fake

lol

aico 02-25-2007 04:14 PM

I saw Jesus on my toast, so I showed it to my gardner, and he said something like "dios mios", farted, and passed out.

Bozena X 02-25-2007 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedShoe (Post 11970049)
See. I knew Jesus wasn't resurrected. But did anyone listen to me? NOOoooooooOOO.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh too funny

Splum 02-25-2007 04:20 PM

I can feel your hatred.... atheists.

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/im...rs-Posters.jpg

wtfent 02-25-2007 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty Dane (Post 11970189)
How do they know his DNA? :1orglaugh

I think he was arrested a few times and they kept it on file.

wtfent 02-25-2007 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montel (Post 11971055)
they could clone jesus and bring him back to life!!! but why stop there, you could produce a whole army of them1!!!!

Oh shit that would be kind of freaky, cloning his DNA. WOW that dude would be like a living Jesus. I cant even imagine somehting crazy like that happening, he would be pimping it big time thats for sure.


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