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Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with Men because he's gay... He's just ran out of women
There are no animals on the endangered species list... There are only animals Chuck allows to live |
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
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If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
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MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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OMG hahahah some really funny ones!
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Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
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Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
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Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
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Chun Kuk Do - enough said.
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damn Cyber hustler you really like chuck Norris jokes
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Some that I like:
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. |
it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
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what would you have if you concentrate chuck norris pee and some sugar on a can???...
REDBULL!!! XD |
Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... Ok then..........
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:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh |
Chuck Norris doesnt use condoms. There's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Since the birth of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased %13,000 worldwide.
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