50 Google Image printed Psychology degrees.

All I was saying is, one can't go far without shoes. Don't be a pussy.

I would think the best way to keep a kid out of trouble is giving him plenty of
good things to do. After school sports, hobbies, time with good friends and quality time
with family which it sounds like he is seriously lacking.

If a kid is bored and lonely he's bound to do just about anything to get some attention.

Get him a dirt bike.

:thumbsup

thats the first response of someone who is enabling someones issues or cannot control their own and won't accept responsibility. "why do you know why i'm fat... you don't even know me"... i "know" because you eat more calories than you burn.

and what the fuck does "knowing" anyone have to do with it? you are talking about a compulsive behavior. if a guy compulsively sets fires to property and feels some sort of gratification from doing so... no one needs to meet him to understand he has some issues and most likely pyromania.

stop rationalizing shit and come to grips with the fact that the kid is crying out for help and/or acting out as the result of either trauma he's experienced or he has a serious behavioral disorder that''s going to haunt him for ever.

instead of doing the right thing... you ask one of the worlds largest collection of dysfunctional retards for answers and help which speaks volumes about your own maturity/sincerity and actual ability to adequately help the child.

countdown to "you don't knooow me maaaaaan!"

Some dysfunctional retards even paste quotes from other banned board members into their GFY signatures. Can you fucking believe that shit?

Pleasurepays, I need to see that degree before I read your reply.

Sounds like the entire family is fucked. There is no way your girlfriend could have been raised in the same house and not inherited some of the fuckedupness.Run dude...RUNNNNN

you need to stop fucking up someones life so we all don't end up with one more future useless asshole to support in these tough economic times.

dysfunctional people surrounded by dysfunctional behaviors... probably just a coincidence.

haha

Haha, dude I so thought of that... but luckily for me, my girlfriend wasn't raised by her mother, she was raised by her father, who happens to live in our basement on his off days of work. It's only her half brother and sister who are fucked like her mother. :thumbsup

So how much did you pay for that degree? $9.95 paypal? Discount if you buy multiple degrees in bulk?

I'm having my doubts you've got the mental maturity of even 24. :helpme

Hey man...it doesn't take a degree to come up with this shit. Anyone who's dealt with kids for any length of time would tell you the same thing.

Had an adopted cousin that was a klepto but he only visited once thankfully or there would have been problems, think he mostly grew out of it.
I'm guessing the kid is seeking attention cause of the fuckedup family, send him to a shrink if you really care or cut off his hands that would be more effective.

Nah, I just don't give a fuck what a GFY psychologist has to say about something I didn't ask.

I know what's wrong with this kid, I used to be the same way... but the GFY psychologists just won't get over their dire need to explain to me WHATS wrong with him, instead of giving me a idea on a way to get him to stop stealing.

Alright guys, thanks for the fun, I'm gonna go watch Simpsons, Family Guy, and maybe beat off, toodles. :thumbsup

I tend to side with the "he's using you.." comment. Sociopaths never grow past the "people as objects" psychology and will use and dispose of those around them their whole life. By stealing and/or destroying your property, he is showing contempt for you and his own family. THIS lack of respect would need to be dealt with and I honestly don't know if there is a cure for sociopaths. You can punish him so that he can find more devious and deceitful methods but his psyche seems to remain the same - an unapologetic sociopath. I remember a forensic files where a couple deserately tried to deal with a sociopathic child for years, gave up and kicked him out. He ended up in Juvvie and came back to kill them. Good luck with your situation and I'm truly sorry.

In my opinion, the kid's behavior is a cry for attention. His father left before he was born and he has an uncaring mother who focuses more on her boyfriend than him. To add to the dysfunctional recipe, the only parental figures he has are you and your girlfriend.

He's stealing because he gets attention when he does. He gets attention from you and your girlfriend. He gets attention from his otherwise uncaring mother when you scold him. The need for attention is fundamental when growing up, and it's usually provided by a stable and loving household. He didn't have one.

I'm quite sure he's not a kleptomaniac because, from your description, the thefts are premeditated and focused on valuable items. I'm assuming he takes the valuable items because the value of the items determines the magnitude of the response he'll receive.

If you and your girlfriend have the time, I believe the best course of action would be to help him channel his energy into productive and positive pursuits. Hang out with the kid if you can. Boost his self-esteem. Show him that he doesn't need to steal to get attention.

@ Templar: If he was a sociopath, he'd be way smarter and would be able to wriggle himself out of the problems.

@ Sands and everyone else offering smart advice: he doesn't care about reasons or solutions that involve him getting psychological help, he wants something quick and painless:

Q: "So, my rooftop is made of acrylic sheets, but it doesn't match so it has a leak and leaks on stuff"
A: "Use some tape"

yes... because the ONLY real answer will also reveal the truth. a dysfunctional group of people are creating this problem and they all need help and most of all, have to admit they need help.

why deal with the problem when you can just address the symptom and pretend the problem doesn't exist

You're 24 and live with your g/f. If you have to beat off you should split.

I don't like to play in the murder scene that happens ones a month in her pants.

Did you have her mouth or anus sealed shut or something?

OK, now I've got no doubt you've got the mental age of a 6 year old. :disgust

I bet you love motorboating through the red river don't you. :Oh crap

Remove his fingers

Alright, I reread this thread and I want to apologize to everyone for what I said, including you Pleasurepays. I understand what you all mean, but I just didn't want to admit it... Besides the stupid shit he does, and stealing, I see myself in him like I mentioned, and I know he can be a good kid, because I've seen him do very well...

For fucks sake, my girlfriend went to Michigan to visit old friends over christmas time and it was just me and him for a week, he was one of the best kids I ever spent time with, we spent most of the time playing xbox and watching tv together...

I just want to see him grow up and be something good, and not worthless like his mother and father are.

You stand by your post??? Is english your first language? Please re-read the original post and realize you missed by MILES! Try at least getting the relationships right for christ sake before offering up an opinion.. :Oh crap

God the level of pure ignorance in here sometimes really makes me wonder how any of you manage a business! :helpme

Yeah, I was hoping she would have caught on, but she failed... for a 4th time. :Oh crap

No, English is not my first language, and the tidbits of information he posted lead me to believe that was the whole picture, when I said that I stand by my post I meant that I think the kid needs professional help, not that I knew clearly the whole situation since I got that I misread that.

Wow.. i have to say i am really impressed. Thats very good news. We are all fucked up. All of us. The problems arise when someone is not willing to admit it to themselves. It took me a very long time as a young adult to admit my own issues to myself, admit that i needed help and come to terms with the fact that i have a family which is basically a collection of the worst and most toxic personalities imaginable that need to be kept at arms length at all times that did some serious emotional damage. Everyone is better off when someone stops and starts asking "why is this happening", "why does this cycle keep repeating", "why is this person continually doing XYZ", "why do i get extremely angry about...." and so on. That's the only way to find useful answers and improve the situation and become a better person.

When kids are acting out, they are asking for help. The best decision you will make in your relationship with him is to start asking "why he is stealing" rather than "how do i punish him" and that process will lead to both of you being happier and having a stronger relationship.

Thats very good news man!! :)

You need to tell this young man it is time to 'Wake UP!'

http://www.cs.uni.edu/~wallingf/blog...le/dr-phil.jpg

Hell yeah, that's the right attitude \m/,

LMFAO!


:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

See that's why I wanna scare him instead of telling him to goto a therapist, my parents didn't make me go to a therapist. My dad stuck his boot up my ass, and I listened to him, granted not my mother.. haha.. but what really made me change was I always fought in school and we moved and I thought "Hey, I have another chance, and this time I don't want to be known as the kid who fights all the time", so I changed... Seriously, my teacher told my mother that she called my old school after a month of me being there and asked if they sent the wrong transcripts because they were expecting this uncooperative child who they would have a hard time with, but instead got a kid who was always helpful and good.

So I know he can change without needing medication, or some therapist, he just needs the right motivation.

What you said about spending time with him over xmas and him being a great kid is probably a great option, when he is given positive attention he doesn't have to do stuff just to get "any" kind of attention :)

In Saudi Arabia they cut off your hand

i am obviously not a psychiatrist... but if there is a agreement that the child is acting out as a result of something going on in his life.. then the "problem" is not the stealing. the problem is whats going on that's causing that symptom. my father was very abusive physically. i am personally not against hitting kids. not because i came from an abusive upbringing, but because i think we've went so far past "protecting children from abuse" that we've basically taken any real consequence out of the equation. but excessive hitting does/can backlash and cause that kid to ultimately have issues with authority, trusting authority, respecting authority etc. particularly when we live in a world that says that if you make the kid unhappy and take away his bowl of ice cream... he can report you for abuse. (meaning the message that YOUR behavior is inappropriate is strongly reinforced to the child outside the home at every turn)

he may just have a compulsive behavior problem (OCD related). it would really take a therapist to sort this out. for example.... maybe he's not really acting out because his parents got divorced or whatever.. maybe he literally has an obsessive compulsive disorder and can't stop himself from stealing things and hoarding them. in any case, punishing the behavior, still doesn't treat the problem.

If there is a concern with taking him to a therapist, maybe you can find someone a professional to talk to and get some advice. i would venture to guess that once you've described everything, the home situation, about him, what he does, what he says about it etc etc etc... .they can tell you pretty definitively what the issue most likely is and what the best course of action is. just bear in mind that you can't punish a heroin addict into not being a heroin addict. a heroin addict needs addiction treatment and therapy to actually get back on track again.... and even then its a tough road. the problem isnt the drug... the problem is the emotional issues the addict is dealing with and the resulting use of the drugs to self medicate.


if all else fails... i would try to have an open and honest conversation that's non confrontational. that's a tough thing to do when everyone is prone to being defensive on all sides of an issue like this and where blame truly lies at everyone's feet. start by letting him know you care about him and think he's a great kid and ease into the subject gently, letting him know that you see a lot of bad behaviors all around you...not just in him, in you, in his parents, grandparents etc and are concerned that it might be affecting him, making him angry etc.

I remember always reacting to aggression with aggression at home. I hated my father who was very abusive and saw everything as "him against me" and had the mentality that i was going to win no matter what, every time. If i got grounded... no tv, no phone, friends etc for a week... i would make it a point to not talk to anyone, not have friends over, play out side etc and come out of my room for a month just "to win". Be aware of the consequences of any action you choose to take and how it might have a negative impact on the issues, him, your relationship with him etc. I think its all a way of asking for help... anyone that steps up and meets that cry for help with a negative response isn't likely to help the problem.

I am all about capitol punishment so to speak for stealing .. that and playing with fire ..

I have 4 kids .. the first thing that crossed my mind immediately was to stick his little arms in a vice a break out the hack saw .. seriously wrap his wrists and tell him your going to cut his fucking little stealing hand off.... he will scream .. cry and beg .. allow him ONE chance .. look him right in the face and tell him you have no problem going back to JAIL and will cut his little fucking hand off if he steals again .. !! .. ( of couse not really going to do it .. )

Oh man, next time you decide to do that, invite me, I have GOTTA see... :1orglaugh:1orglaugh