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-   -   How to deal with a klepto kid? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=895216)

quantum-x 03-22-2009 03:21 PM
Another reason that I am only up to the level of caring for plants.

The notion of raising children successfully seems like an increasingly daunting task.

Perhaps one day, I'll get a pet.

alias 03-22-2009 03:23 PM
You guys are delegating the issue, the kid is a little prick.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 03:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleasurepays (Post 15660157)
so you're solution was to make him the victim?

brilliant.

that will teach him right from wrong.
Apparently you've never delt with a person like this have you? You don't truly understand how their minds work do you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnniKN (Post 15660188)
So, the kid has a mom who prefers an abusive boyfriend so he has to live at her sister's boyfriend's basement
Nope, try again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnniKN (Post 15660188)
and his dad who fled before he was born beats him with a construction tool until it breaks because he does something that makes him feel in control and you think violence will fix him?
Fail number 2, try one more time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnniKN (Post 15660188)
He does not respect authority and he does not respect his dad, it's a combination of despise and fear, because he does not have the right to tell him what's wrong and what to do, because authority figures in his life have all been fucked up pieces of shit - you ARE an authority figure and you don't know what to do except to threaten to maim him so he keeps away from the computer. You know what threat would have also worked? Kicking him out since he would be directly affecting your income and ability to provide a roof top for him.

Respect to authority is earned, and you know what really does for eternal loyalty? gratitute and guilt, that he won't feel because he does not think you deserve to be treated right because you have not shown compassion. Get him caught stealing, do not just scare him, have him sent off to a correctional institution with daily group therapy and the like, then come rescue him and talk to him and tell him your story the way you're telling us, and if he fucks up again, kick him to the streets. Physical violence doesn't teach anything, it's the mental process behind wanting to avoid the physical violence to be inflicted upon you that does, and there's more effective ways to use such mental process without becoming precisely the kind of thing he despises and give him more reasons to steal and ruin your stuff.
Fail number 3, please step off the stage to the left, you have not made it past this round and cannot continue onto the second round.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ztik (Post 15660197)
There is a difference between being nice and being a bitch. You sir, are a bitch.

He is using you, he doesn't give a fuck about you, you are simply a tool for him to use until he finds another to use.
LOL, alright. :thumbsup

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleasurepays (Post 15660201)
you just made it onto my "Safe List" for when i take over the planet.

totally bizarre that a grown adult can be so retarded to see a child acting out and not get that its a symptom of something wrong in his life... and not understand the need to get to the bottom of it... instead... everyone wants to figure out how to punish him.

now we will have to pay for this shitheads parenting when his kid spends his life in the prison system.

:(
Totally bizarre that somebody that knows nothing about either people involved that they gotta make assumptions on such small information.

Can you please scan your psychology degree, I wanna see that bugger.

quantum-x 03-22-2009 03:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660236)
Totally bizarre that somebody that knows nothing about either people involved that they gotta make assumptions on such small information.

Can you please scan your psychology degree, I wanna see that bugger.
Dude, you're posting for advice on GFY.
Everyone here, seriously or otherwise is providing input that you asked for.

Everyone is in accord that your situation is not desirable.

We are only going off the information you provided. The way you spun it sounds exactly like the way Anna summarised it.

We're roughly the same age. This should be a period in your life where you're forging new paths, not collecting baggage.

Take that piece of advice with as gravity as the rest of the pieces of advice here.
Your life, your situation, but complaining due to exasperation, and then attempting to justify the fucked up situation is, frankly, self-destructive.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 03:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by quantum-x (Post 15660247)
Dude, you're posting for advice on GFY.
Everyone here, seriously or otherwise is providing input that you asked for.

Everyone is in accord that your situation is not desirable.

We are only going off the information you provided. The way you spun it sounds exactly like the way Anna summarised it.

We're roughly the same age. This should be a period in your life where you're forging new paths, not collecting baggage.

Take that piece of advice with as gravity as the rest of the pieces of advice here.
Your life, your situation, but complaining due to exasperation, and then attempting to justify the fucked up situation is, frankly, self-destructive.
So I reread the stuff I wrote and AnniKN has still misread what I wrote and took it wrong.

I also asked for ways to make someone stop being a klepto, not a psycho analysis, or the advice to just ditch him and forget about him.

A therapist saying "So where you abused as a child?" has nothing to do with him wanting to steal stupid shit constantly...

Also what's my age have to do with me actually being a responsibly person and helping my girlfriend with her family problems related to her brother?

By your logic I should, at the age of 24, be saying "fuck this shit, you're family's whack!" and ditch my girlfriend, the one I love for who she is, not for what I want, and plan on spending my time with, because her brother is a little twerp? Come on, seriously.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 03:37 PM
Anyways, I don't care about any psycho analysis of what's wrong with the kid, I asked for advice on ways to make him realize he shouldn't steal everything under the sun.

If you got ideas on how to do that, awesome share, but if you want to pull out your google images printed psychology degree, hit the x button to close the thread now.

candyflip 03-22-2009 03:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660257)
A therapist saying "So where you abused as a child?" has nothing to do with him wanting to steal stupid shit constantly...
I'd say that yes, him being abused (emotional, neglect, physical) all have something to do with why he's acting out (ie. stealing).

:2 cents:

AnniKN 03-22-2009 03:51 PM
Although I stand by my post, I'll bite regarding advice, only two things I think that might work based on what you're saying now is:
1. acting like you've stopped caring about it OR
2. trust him with something that appears important and make it clear it's his last chance to be trusted by anyone until the day he dies

And then, send him to therapy.

quantum-x 03-22-2009 03:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660264)
Anyways, I don't care about any psycho analysis of what's wrong with the kid, I asked for advice on ways to make him realize he shouldn't steal everything under the sun.

If you got ideas on how to do that, awesome share, but if you want to pull out your google images printed psychology degree, hit the x button to close the thread now.
..and that's the advice you're getting.

BTW, I didn't tell you to leave your girlfriend - that's what you read into it.

What were you expecting from this thread? Someone to say: Oh, kleptomania! Just feed them more potatoes and they'll be fine!

It's an issue more complicated than that.
Incidentally, he's not a kleptomaniac. There are 5 basic categories for kleptomania, and from your description, he doesn't fit any.

candyflip 03-22-2009 04:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by quantum-x (Post 15660292)
It's an issue more complicated than that.
Incidentally, he's not a kleptomaniac. There are 5 basic categories for kleptomania, and from your description, he doesn't fit any.
He seems like a kid from a shitty family looking for some attention.

If my parents were half as bad as you describe his, stealing shit would have been the least of their worries.

Fix this shit while you can. And the only way YOU can do this is by driving him to someone else who can help.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 04:11 PM
50 Google Image printed Psychology degrees.

alias 03-22-2009 04:20 PM
All I was saying is, one can't go far without shoes. Don't be a pussy.

justinsain 03-22-2009 04:34 PM
I would think the best way to keep a kid out of trouble is giving him plenty of
good things to do. After school sports, hobbies, time with good friends and quality time
with family which it sounds like he is seriously lacking.

If a kid is bored and lonely he's bound to do just about anything to get some attention.

alias 03-22-2009 04:36 PM
Get him a dirt bike.

candyflip 03-22-2009 04:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by justinsain (Post 15660399)
I would think the best way to keep a kid out of trouble is giving him plenty of
good things to do. After school sports, hobbies, time with good friends and quality time
with family which it sounds like he is seriously lacking.

If a kid is bored and lonely he's bound to do just about anything to get some attention.
:thumbsup

Pleasurepays 03-22-2009 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660236)
Apparently you've never delt with a person like this have you? You don't truly understand how their minds work do you?



Nope, try again.



Fail number 2, try one more time.



Fail number 3, please step off the stage to the left, you have not made it past this round and cannot continue onto the second round.



LOL, alright. :thumbsup



Totally bizarre that somebody that knows nothing about either people involved that they gotta make assumptions on such small information.

Can you please scan your psychology degree, I wanna see that bugger.
thats the first response of someone who is enabling someones issues or cannot control their own and won't accept responsibility. "why do you know why i'm fat... you don't even know me"... i "know" because you eat more calories than you burn.

and what the fuck does "knowing" anyone have to do with it? you are talking about a compulsive behavior. if a guy compulsively sets fires to property and feels some sort of gratification from doing so... no one needs to meet him to understand he has some issues and most likely pyromania.

stop rationalizing shit and come to grips with the fact that the kid is crying out for help and/or acting out as the result of either trauma he's experienced or he has a serious behavioral disorder that''s going to haunt him for ever.

instead of doing the right thing... you ask one of the worlds largest collection of dysfunctional retards for answers and help which speaks volumes about your own maturity/sincerity and actual ability to adequately help the child.

quantum-x 03-22-2009 04:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleasurepays (Post 15660418)
thats the first response of someone who is enabling someones issues or cannot control their own and won't accept responsibility. "why do you know why i'm fat... you don't even know me"... i "know" because you eat more calories than you burn.

and what the fuck does "knowing" anyone have to do with it? you are talking about a compulsive behavior. if a guy compulsively sets fires to property and feels some sort of gratification from doing so... no one needs to meet him to understand he has some issues and most likely pyromania.

stop rationalizing shit and come to grips with the fact that the kid is crying out for help and/or acting out as the result of either trauma he's experienced or he has a serious behavioral disorder that''s going to haunt him for ever.

instead of doing the right thing... you ask one of the worlds largest collection of dysfunctional retards for answers and help which speaks volumes about your own maturity/sincerity and actual ability to adequately help the child.
countdown to "you don't knooow me maaaaaan!"

alias 03-22-2009 04:45 PM
Some dysfunctional retards even paste quotes from other banned board members into their GFY signatures. Can you fucking believe that shit?

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 04:46 PM
Pleasurepays, I need to see that degree before I read your reply.

BlackCrayon 03-22-2009 04:49 PM
Sounds like the entire family is fucked. There is no way your girlfriend could have been raised in the same house and not inherited some of the fuckedupness.Run dude...RUNNNNN

Pleasurepays 03-22-2009 04:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660432)
Pleasurepays, I need to see that degree before I read your reply.
you need to stop fucking up someones life so we all don't end up with one more future useless asshole to support in these tough economic times.

Pleasurepays 03-22-2009 04:52 PM
dysfunctional people surrounded by dysfunctional behaviors... probably just a coincidence.

haha

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 04:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackCrayon (Post 15660437)
Sounds like the entire family is fucked. There is no way your girlfriend could have been raised in the same house and not inherited some of the fuckedupness.Run dude...RUNNNNN
Haha, dude I so thought of that... but luckily for me, my girlfriend wasn't raised by her mother, she was raised by her father, who happens to live in our basement on his off days of work. It's only her half brother and sister who are fucked like her mother. :thumbsup

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleasurepays (Post 15660444)
you need to stop fucking up someones life so we all don't end up with one more future useless asshole to support in these tough economic times.
So how much did you pay for that degree? $9.95 paypal? Discount if you buy multiple degrees in bulk?

quantum-x 03-22-2009 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660432)
Pleasurepays, I need to see that degree before I read your reply.
I'm having my doubts you've got the mental maturity of even 24. :helpme

candyflip 03-22-2009 04:56 PM
Hey man...it doesn't take a degree to come up with this shit. Anyone who's dealt with kids for any length of time would tell you the same thing.

The Heron 03-22-2009 05:01 PM
Had an adopted cousin that was a klepto but he only visited once thankfully or there would have been problems, think he mostly grew out of it.
I'm guessing the kid is seeking attention cause of the fuckedup family, send him to a shrink if you really care or cut off his hands that would be more effective.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 05:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by quantum-x (Post 15660466)
I'm having my doubts you've got the mental maturity of even 24. :helpme
Nah, I just don't give a fuck what a GFY psychologist has to say about something I didn't ask.

Quote:
Originally Posted by candyflip (Post 15660468)
Hey man...it doesn't take a degree to come up with this shit. Anyone who's dealt with kids for any length of time would tell you the same thing.
I know what's wrong with this kid, I used to be the same way... but the GFY psychologists just won't get over their dire need to explain to me WHATS wrong with him, instead of giving me a idea on a way to get him to stop stealing.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 05:07 PM
Alright guys, thanks for the fun, I'm gonna go watch Simpsons, Family Guy, and maybe beat off, toodles. :thumbsup

Templar 03-22-2009 05:08 PM
I tend to side with the "he's using you.." comment. Sociopaths never grow past the "people as objects" psychology and will use and dispose of those around them their whole life. By stealing and/or destroying your property, he is showing contempt for you and his own family. THIS lack of respect would need to be dealt with and I honestly don't know if there is a cure for sociopaths. You can punish him so that he can find more devious and deceitful methods but his psyche seems to remain the same - an unapologetic sociopath. I remember a forensic files where a couple deserately tried to deal with a sociopathic child for years, gave up and kicked him out. He ended up in Juvvie and came back to kill them. Good luck with your situation and I'm truly sorry.

Sands 03-22-2009 05:14 PM
In my opinion, the kid's behavior is a cry for attention. His father left before he was born and he has an uncaring mother who focuses more on her boyfriend than him. To add to the dysfunctional recipe, the only parental figures he has are you and your girlfriend.

He's stealing because he gets attention when he does. He gets attention from you and your girlfriend. He gets attention from his otherwise uncaring mother when you scold him. The need for attention is fundamental when growing up, and it's usually provided by a stable and loving household. He didn't have one.

I'm quite sure he's not a kleptomaniac because, from your description, the thefts are premeditated and focused on valuable items. I'm assuming he takes the valuable items because the value of the items determines the magnitude of the response he'll receive.

If you and your girlfriend have the time, I believe the best course of action would be to help him channel his energy into productive and positive pursuits. Hang out with the kid if you can. Boost his self-esteem. Show him that he doesn't need to steal to get attention.

AnniKN 03-22-2009 05:26 PM
@ Templar: If he was a sociopath, he'd be way smarter and would be able to wriggle himself out of the problems.

@ Sands and everyone else offering smart advice: he doesn't care about reasons or solutions that involve him getting psychological help, he wants something quick and painless:

Q: "So, my rooftop is made of acrylic sheets, but it doesn't match so it has a leak and leaks on stuff"
A: "Use some tape"

Pleasurepays 03-22-2009 05:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnniKN (Post 15660575)
@ Sands and everyone else offering smart advice: he doesn't care about reasons or solutions that involve him getting psychological help, he wants something quick and painless:
yes... because the ONLY real answer will also reveal the truth. a dysfunctional group of people are creating this problem and they all need help and most of all, have to admit they need help.

why deal with the problem when you can just address the symptom and pretend the problem doesn't exist

baddog 03-22-2009 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660513)
Alright guys, thanks for the fun, I'm gonna go watch Simpsons, Family Guy, and maybe beat off, toodles. :thumbsup
You're 24 and live with your g/f. If you have to beat off you should split.

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 06:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by baddog (Post 15660648)
You're 24 and live with your g/f. If you have to beat off you should split.
I don't like to play in the murder scene that happens ones a month in her pants.

baddog 03-22-2009 07:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660686)
I don't like to play in the murder scene that happens ones a month in her pants.
Did you have her mouth or anus sealed shut or something?

quantum-x 03-22-2009 07:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch (Post 15660686)
I don't like to play in the murder scene that happens ones a month in her pants.
OK, now I've got no doubt you've got the mental age of a 6 year old. :disgust

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by quantum-x (Post 15660899)
OK, now I've got no doubt you've got the mental age of a 6 year old. :disgust
I bet you love motorboating through the red river don't you. :Oh crap

Spunky 03-22-2009 08:41 PM
Remove his fingers

Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE 03-22-2009 08:54 PM
Alright, I reread this thread and I want to apologize to everyone for what I said, including you Pleasurepays. I understand what you all mean, but I just didn't want to admit it... Besides the stupid shit he does, and stealing, I see myself in him like I mentioned, and I know he can be a good kid, because I've seen him do very well...

For fucks sake, my girlfriend went to Michigan to visit old friends over christmas time and it was just me and him for a week, he was one of the best kids I ever spent time with, we spent most of the time playing xbox and watching tv together...

I just want to see him grow up and be something good, and not worthless like his mother and father are.

Kre8t0r 03-22-2009 09:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnniKN (Post 15660287)
Although I stand by my post, I'll bite regarding advice, only two things I think that might work based on what you're saying now is:
1. acting like you've stopped caring about it OR
2. trust him with something that appears important and make it clear it's his last chance to be trusted by anyone until the day he dies

And then, send him to therapy.
You stand by your post??? Is english your first language? Please re-read the original post and realize you missed by MILES! Try at least getting the relationships right for christ sake before offering up an opinion.. :Oh crap

God the level of pure ignorance in here sometimes really makes me wonder how any of you manage a business! :helpme


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