Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch
(Post 15662512)
See that's why I wanna scare him instead of telling him to goto a therapist, my parents didn't make me go to a therapist. My dad stuck his boot up my ass, and I listened to him, granted not my mother.. haha.. but what really made me change was I always fought in school and we moved and I thought "Hey, I have another chance, and this time I don't want to be known as the kid who fights all the time", so I changed... Seriously, my teacher told my mother that she called my old school after a month of me being there and asked if they sent the wrong transcripts because they were expecting this uncooperative child who they would have a hard time with, but instead got a kid who was always helpful and good.
So I know he can change without needing medication, or some therapist, he just needs the right motivation.
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i am obviously not a psychiatrist... but if there is a agreement that the child is acting out as a result of something going on in his life.. then the "problem" is not the stealing. the problem is whats going on that's causing that symptom. my father was very abusive physically. i am personally not against hitting kids. not because i came from an abusive upbringing, but because i think we've went so far past "protecting children from abuse" that we've basically taken any real consequence out of the equation. but excessive hitting does/can backlash and cause that kid to ultimately have issues with authority, trusting authority, respecting authority etc. particularly when we live in a world that says that if you make the kid unhappy and take away his bowl of ice cream... he can report you for abuse. (meaning the message that YOUR behavior is inappropriate is strongly reinforced to the child outside the home at every turn)
he may just have a compulsive behavior problem (OCD related). it would really take a therapist to sort this out. for example.... maybe he's not really acting out because his parents got divorced or whatever.. maybe he literally has an obsessive compulsive disorder and can't stop himself from stealing things and hoarding them. in any case, punishing the behavior, still doesn't treat the problem.
If there is a concern with taking him to a therapist, maybe you can find someone a professional to talk to and get some advice. i would venture to guess that once you've described everything, the home situation, about him, what he does, what he says about it etc etc etc... .they can tell you pretty definitively what the issue most likely is and what the best course of action is. just bear in mind that you can't punish a heroin addict into not being a heroin addict. a heroin addict needs addiction treatment and therapy to actually get back on track again.... and even then its a tough road. the problem isnt the drug... the problem is the emotional issues the addict is dealing with and the resulting use of the drugs to self medicate.
if all else fails... i would try to have an open and honest conversation that's non confrontational. that's a tough thing to do when everyone is prone to being defensive on all sides of an issue like this and where blame truly lies at everyone's feet. start by letting him know you care about him and think he's a great kid and ease into the subject gently, letting him know that you see a lot of bad behaviors all around you...not just in him, in you, in his parents, grandparents etc and are concerned that it might be affecting him, making him angry etc.
I remember always reacting to aggression with aggression at home. I hated my father who was very abusive and saw everything as "him against me" and had the mentality that i was going to win no matter what, every time. If i got grounded... no tv, no phone, friends etc for a week... i would make it a point to not talk to anyone, not have friends over, play out side etc and come out of my room for a month just "to win". Be aware of the consequences of any action you choose to take and how it might have a negative impact on the issues, him, your relationship with him etc. I think its all a way of asking for help... anyone that steps up and meets that cry for help with a negative response isn't likely to help the problem.
