you control your life.... nice said..

It was February or March 2009 that I started chemo. After 3 months I started radio therapy. All the treatment finished in September. Originally the specialists thought it was so advanced my chances of survival were slim to none. They thought at best I would end up losing a part or all of my tongue after the chemo had reduced the growth.

After the radiation they decided I would not need anything and I had kicked it.

Gave up eating solids in August 2009 because the swelling, from radiation, had blocked my throats ability to swallow. The inside of my mouth was very tender for a long while because of the burning and I had difficulty swallowing anything but filtered water. It's better now. Still lots of things I can't drink.

I can tasted things now, just have to be careful what I put in my mouth and my sense of smell is better than it ever was. Food smells delicious. :(

My weight plummeted, could do little but lie on the sofa. Still sleeping 12 hours a day and can't walk much for more than an hour. I'm probably retired now as Eva runs the business. Don't ever really see me shooting again. All I do is post on the boards when I feel like it.

don't give up Paul, you'll build back up and be back at it again.

People who are always whining like they have it tougher than everyone else need to shut their worm holes.

EVERYONE has most likely battled some sort of depression in this world.

but there is LOSERS out there who always think their problem is deeper or worse than others.

they are most likely the type who has had shit handed to them. hard working people dont have time to be depressed.

what ever happened to just being a LOSER. these days LOSERS go to some psychologist who really doesnt know SHIT and they slap some kind of medical name on your REGULAR problems and then people go around and whine "whine whine im suffering from (insert long medical term name)".

there is no medical term for acting like a LOSER. it is that simple.

I find a nice hot bath makes me feel better.

http://chatroulettegifs.com/bathtub_suicide.gif

:2 cents::thumbsup

If you've ever really been depressed, you'd know it. It has nothing to do with normal "being down", it's wanting to die because you feel there is nothing left worth living for. Stop being a know-it-all gung-ho douchebag dude. Not every problem is solved with a 30-minute pep talk from Dr. Phil. There are plenty of "hard working people" suffering from depression. It's not a long fancy scientific name you can't pronounce Meta, it's simple really: Depression. People kill themselves because of this shit dude. Calling them "losers" does absolutely nothing to help.

Obviously you've never experienced first class depression, you'd remember it.

Sounds like my life dude. It's hard to shake depression, that's for sure!

Good luck - hopefully you pull out of it soon - even though you know it is cyclical.

So nice to see such an offer coming from gfy, load of pricks. :) :thumbsup

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

narcissistic wallowing at it's finest

it's not what life can do for you, it's what you can do for life

heh

Truth. But metaman is still funny.. .

:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

we all have our demons. :2 cents: roll with the punches or get knocked the fuck out. when i feel bad i eat. :( ill tell you one thing a broken heart will heal. ask sabby over that will cheer you up fast! :1orglaugh

this is just too great. :thumbsup

YES that makes them a LOSER. if you are going to kill yourself because of some problems that dont really matter YOU ARE A LOSER.

if you sit at home and whine about life YOU ARE A LOSER. that is what LOSERS ARE.

i have been depressed, wondered if i wanted to stay around, and i was acting like a COMPLETE LOSER.

why the fuck do i want to help these LOSERS? seriously?

all people do these days in the world is focus on the negative douche bags while all the good people get passed over.

why do we as humans tie up so many resources trying help PIECES OF SHIT with their lame problems? And then we drain all of the resources away from people who SUCK IT UP and go along with their lives EVERYDAY without a complaint.

well fuck LOSERS and their depression along with it. you want to be a big baby and whine cause life isnt treating you right. FINE. but im not going to spend 2 seconds feeling sorry for you. because i dont feel sorry for LOSERS.

you want to be despressed and pop a bunch of meds because you are too big of a baby to look internally and solve real problems with yourself? FINE do it.

the entire point of depression is that you have INTERNAL problems. and yet you are going to pop meds to mask that pain instead of dealing with it? makes sense to me NOT.

wake up in a straw hut and drink water from the river that the cows shit in. then we can talk about depression. a bunch of grown babies. fuck off with this "depressed" shit. im tired of hearing about people and their lame fucking problems.

eat, shit, sleep, whatever gets complicated in the middle for you is your problem.

That's just an excuse to not take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions and place the blame on some genetic disorder. That's the problem with people.... If you suck and you know it, instead of dealing with your shit, blame it on DNA and take a pill for it. Maybe one day it will go away. Instead of doing the hard work of changing and bettering yourself as a person.

The only "cure" for depression is compassion. Stepping out of yourself and helping others/feeling good for others destroys the "shortcircuit" in one's mind that causes depression and other self-based maladies.

There's always the tried and true way of solving the issue permanently...
http://www.vehm.com/images/girl-with-gun-in-mouth.jpg

Does that mean my alcoholism is not really a disease? :(

I thought I had some afflication that kept making me go to the beer store and walking out with these cases of Miller Genuine Draft.

Your DNA / Chemical make-up isn't forcing you to guzzle those bottles of Jack Daniel's. Again, personal responsibility for your own actions and thoughts. If you don't like what you do or who you are... change it and stop whining to everyone and looking for answers. The answer is simple... You suck. Change and be a better person, and stop making stupid decisions.

Now I am depressed and an alcoholic. Is there a pill for that?

Well, it's shaped like a pill...
http://www.bulletforge.com/images/si...ver_bullet.jpg

I don't have a restricted firearms license and all I have on hand is 12 gauge bird shot. I'll be back tomorrow posting with a nasty flesh wound.

Lol, what a good read. It's easy to spot the people in here who know what depression is.

Metaman, you are a masterful troll and for that, you win. In the meantime, imagine your family was just murdered. Now imagine feeling that sorrow and pain, only your family is fine.

Yeah, I didn't think you'd understand it, even when explained in a way that a child could comprehend. If you think that you can just "snap out of it", perhaps you shouldn't comment on something that is entirely alien to you. I don't completely grasp the economic repocussions of invading Iraq, so I don't comment on them. Because if I did, that would make me an idiot.

only depressed people create negative thoughts in their head that do not exist. ill save that for you and you can report back on your findings.

no it is easy to spot here who are children and who are adults. adults take ownership for their actions and thoughts and not put a label on them like "depression" when things arent going their way.

feeling sorrow and pain is a normal human function. that is EXACTLY what i am saying. anyone who takes that and puts a label on it such as depression either a) needs to get a life b) needs a bomb ass blowjob.

i find it extremely pathetic when a human being goes into the "nobody understands me" mode. that is for teenage girls. NOT grown adults.

Feeling sorrow and pain at the appropriate times is a normal human function. Feeling it randomly and without cause is depression. You clearly have never delt with any form of clinical depression, so you are doing nothing more than talking out of your ass.

That's all good and well, except I haven't been doing that. Once again, you're speaking out of your ass about something you have no education or knowledge about.

Just because you don't understand what MetaMan is talking about, doesn't mean he doesn't know what he's talking about. Did you ever stop yourself from whining for just a moment to think that maybe it's YOU that is being ignorant on this topic, and would rather wallow in misery than try to understand what people are telling you? Because facing the fact that you suck, isn't an easy task to take on. It takes a lot of work and energy, and as much as your depression keeps you down, you rise above and force yourself to do the work it requires to get out.

If you really want to stop being depressed, stop posting about it, go find good shit to do and when you start thinking like a whiney emo twat, force yourself to focus on something better. That's the only way. Otherwise, find a gun and save us the twat drama.

Go and read about how depression works before you say things like that, Mr. Al Capone. Except you won't, because you already think you know what depression is. Except you don't.

Without cause? Again, you are trying to blame the abyss for your emotions. YOU are the ONLY cause for your emotions. Your perspective, your paradigm... whatever you want to call it. The ONLY thing causing your depression is YOU. As soon as you realize that, you'll start finding ways to overcome it. Until then, you're just going to keep whining about it and trying to find external solutions to your internal problem. In which case, nobody and nothing can help you.

Excuse me? "clinical depression". who decides what "clinical depression" is? the doctors that are quick to write a prescription so they can pocket some coin?

hell anyone with a bad day can walk in and get labeled with clinical depression these days. keep telling yourself it is clinical. your babyness is a billion dollar industry.

the more people they convince that they have more problems compared to others is extra 0's in their bank account. never forget that.

go live in a straw hut in africa for a month. come back and report. and i bet you i just solved your depression. GET THIS NIGGA A PHD!

Doesn't really matter though, does it? Anyone I have seen on the pills just gets more depressed, sometimes suicidal, so the only option is to force it out of your head.

edit: or kill yourself, which shouldn't be an option

STOP that sounds like work. Dealing with my own internal problems to solve depression? that sounds insane.

Ok, you're officially an idiot.

So you think I should go read about depression, instead of finding something more important to do, so that I can understand your condition better? I understand your "condition", you are a twat and don't want to admit it to yourself.

I'm trying to give you some golden advice, as are a few others in this thread and you are CHOOSING to ignore the plain and simple fact that YOU are the only person that can help yourself. No pill, no external condition will help. Change the way you think. Change yourself to not suck. That's the ONLY way.

I can't help but agree with you. In the Western world, we have preconcieved ideas about what success and happiness is. I was born here, and have never been to Africa, so telling me about people in other situations isn't exactly relevant to the topic at hand. I've never met them, or been there, or experienced their lives first hand, so again, I just don't see how that's very relevant.

And on a good day, I would agree about thinking happy thoughts and doing shit about "it" so that I don't feel sad and unhappy. Except when you're depressed, it's not that easy to do. Is it possible? Perhaps, but I've never been able to manage it. Does that make me weak, or pathetic, as you say? Who knows. What is weak? What is pathetic? You said it yourself, we are nothing, sitting on a tiny floating rock. If this was the case, perhaps you wouldn't be so quick to judge and voice your opinion (an irrelevant one, since we're tiny and nothing, just sitting on a floating rock). Or maybe you're just trolling and trying to make people feel bad. Either way, I'm enjoying your posts :)

Success is measured by how quickly you pick yourself up after being knocked down and the ability to learn and grow from your mistakes.

See, now that's a valuable addition to this topic. I'm going to think about that today. :thumbsup

Goals, Direction, Determination, Passion, Relentlessness, Drive, Enthusiasm... I can go on and on. If you do not have these traits, this is the reason why you SUCK and the things you need to change and work on. They are the things you NEED to get out of depression. It's not EASY. It is HARD WORK. But, if you really want to get out of it... You DO the hard work. Depression is Easy.

Exactly.

Look up any list of the "happiest countries" in the world and many of the ones in the top 20 are pretty poor countries. Indeed, many of these countries' lists of top prescribed/bought prescription drugs don't have antidepressants/antianxiety medications. Why? Many of these countries' social support systems include extensive networks of friends and cultural values that emphasize getting along and being involved with others. I hate Karl Marx but I do have to agree with him on some parts of his ALIENATION theory. "Developed" countries force many into deal with the devil--give up part of your humanity (communal definitions of privacy/cooperation versus competition, etc etc)in exchange for material richess of First World living. I don't fully agree but there's some truth there.

this thread is depressing.

And to think I could have spent 100 bucks an hour to hear that from someone. Perhaps GFY isn't as moronic as it seems. I appologize for my earlier remarks, as you seem to have something to say. I'd be saying the same thing to Metaman if he wasn't so abrasive about it.

Thanks for the motivation, kind stranger.