You really don't know a damned thing about kids and how their minds work, do you?

I was one before


this was about your comment on what the father will think, though, and maybe he is happy with the results, you are the one projecting your thoughts that he will be unhappy, how can you say that when you don't know anything about what he really wants?

I can say what I said quite easily as Amp is both over-compensating and justifying the manner in which he did NOT raise his son, saying, "Well, he turned out OK in SPITE of me!"

The grown child will eventually treat Amp in kind.

And Amp won't like it.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

still disagree with you, we have no idea what a father will or won't like, or how any grown child will eventually treat that father, maybe the father just wants to be left alone and continue his life as it is, we have no idea the situation, so you saying someone won't like it is just silly, it might turn out exactly how he likes it

everyone is not the same or wants the same, some want a big funeral and to be celebrated by a hundred family members and friends in death, some want no funeral and no big deal made of it, I kind of like the second option myself, but I'm not going to assume you like it that way, just as your assumptions in this thread could be 100% completely wrong too :2 cents:

My freind, you have become so open-minded that your brains have fallen out. You are denying virtually everything that we know about child psychology and the manner in which children become "hard wired".

My dad left when I was seven. My uncle - who tried to take over the father role in my life - beat my Aunt half to death with an axe handle.

Even though those men taught me nothing, I learned exactly how not to be a father from them.

In 1997 (after four years of courts and social workers) I got custody of my children - both of whom will turn out to be more far more successful than I could ever hope to be.

As a single father, I did a good job.

What the hell am I even posting this here for? Dunno.

again you come with the child's thoughts, my point was about what the father wanted, and you assuming that he wants a kid hanging around like in the cat's cradle song. not everyone wants that, and many just want to go about their life without much complication or hindrance, so you saying that a father won't like it if his kid ignores him later is still silly, the father might just as likely be quite fine with it :2 cents:

Your story is more brutal than mine, but I too learned how not to be a parent from mine. Mostly raised by my grandparents I learned how NOT to do many things by watching my parents' example.


What's strange is I had a rough and fucked up childhood but I'm the most "successful" and well adjusted one out of my friends. Those who had really great loving and supportive parents who I envied when we were young are the ones who have turned out the most fucked up. We're all now in our 30's (I'm the youngest just turning 30 this year) and the kids with great parents all grew into pseudo-adults. They lean on their parents too much and still don't know how to take responsibility for themselves.

I know this may sound shitty but maybe a shit upbringing is the best thing that could ever happen to some people.

I've noticed something similar. Not so much with responsibility but with people being completely unable to make a decision for themselves. Ask them a question that needs a proper answer and it's as if they can't actually decide without someone else's help.

*some* people. others just break and repeat the cycle. how'd they end up to the be such shitty parents in the first place? most likely had something to do with how they were raised.

treat the kid like shit so he leaves and never returns. sounds like a great life for the kid, oh but wait, we can't consider the kid here. only what the father might want blah blah blah. horribly selfish. the kid didn't ask to be born. the responsibility is on the parents to ensure he at least has a half ass decent life.

ugh...shitty beginning but great ending :)
raising good kids makes up for all the crap you go through in life

You've taught him not to be like you... fatherhood is a symbolic function whatever you do or don't do.

In my experience- within my own family and looking into the relationships of my closest friends- shitty adults were created both by shitty parents and by great parents. I guess what I'm trying to say is for some people being surrounded by bad examples can be as beneficial as being raised in an environment of positive examples. I don't really know where the turning point lies- if it's internal and unique to the individual or if it's environmental- but the difference seems to be how the benchmark set by the parents is viewed.

Successful / functioning adults from bad homes seem to share the view point the failures and mediocre acheivements of their parents as low water mark, something they strive to surpass and never emulate, and kids that continue the cycle seem to view it as a median line, something they'd like to surpass but would be satisfied if they at least did as good as their parents.

I think overly supportive parents are equally detrimental as bad parents. The children of some of the most loving families I know can't seem to do things on their own, like Otto is saying. They rely too much on their parents for guidance and support. Maybe the buffers they set up for their children were too great, or their saftey net too large?

"Learned Helplessness" - a major problem these days with many, many people.

that might be true in many ways, but I think genetics plays a huge role too, from what I've seen, even if a child is adopted they still exhibit many traits from their genetics, if a father was shy often the child will have shy tendencies, if the father was outgoing the child will have outgoing tendencies, so I think Amp's original point in this thread carries a lot of truth :2 cents:

U bent son...

Naw but I do have cancer running through them now! LOL but on a real note kids now adays man shit they are so damn smart and pick things up so much faster then I did in my day of school! Glad to hear your son is doing good Amp! You did a great job!

Horrible thread.

What did he learn, how to post news articles on GFY daily? :uhoh ... get over yourself

I find it fascinating to watch the responses some of you dream up based on nothing more than just a few lines of text.

imagination is still alive and well it seems. some for the good, some for... whatever you wanna call it.

Judge not, lest ye be judged. :2 cents:


and trust me, none of you want me judging YOU.

you must be proud then

you need to beat your kids