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Terrible Celebrity Encounters.....
Have you ever had an awkward, stupid or weird experience with a celebrity? Go ahead and exorcise those demons!
Here's my first: Dishonorable mention: I was a limo driver in NYC. One night I had the displeasure of chauffeuring Paul Holmgren, coach at the time of the Hartford Whalers. It was New Year's Eve, 1993 and I picked him and a sleazy looking blond bimbo up. All they did was drink and grope in the back of the limo and had me drive him all over NYC. At midnight, he interrupted his knobber to call and wish his wife a Happy New Year. At 2am, I dropped them off in Uniondale in Long Island. Since it was New Year's Eve, it was a mandatory 25% gratuity. By now he was pretty plastered and was outraged that he was billed $5 a minute for an 8 minute call (which I had explained to him BEFORE he called). He said "Fine, Asshole! I'll take it out of your tip then". That's when I explained that there was a mandatory 25% tip. He made a fist like he was going to hit me and I told him that this was not going to look good in the media. As a bonus, his bimbo left her panties when she got out and he left a paper bag with condoms and $35 in cash.:pimp |
The two people who have vaguely heard of Paul Holmgren are now shaking their heads and rolling their eyes.
Cool story, bro. |
no idea who he is :2 cents::2 cents:
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met Lemmy Kilmister at the circle bar at the Venetian, said "hey, you are Lenny!", he looked at me like he was going to kill me and said "my name is Lemmy".
walked away in shame without saying anything further :helpme |
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I'm not a Flyers fan. |
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and it looked more like an elephant sucking water from the urinal |
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At my very first Montreal Comicon I wanted to meet the stars of the 70's Buck Rogers, Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers) and Erin Gray (Wilma Deering). I was kind of shy for some reason. When I met Erin Gray she was very charming and gracious and nice. When I met Gil Gerard he was a real prick. "I'm on my break, can't you tell?". Total dickhead. I've met lots of Celebs at Montreal Comicon and they were all great except for that douchbag.
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At a gym in a suburb of Seattle, i used to work out everyday with a guy who had a friend that looked like Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. He looked identical. I gave him shit everyday about it. Anyway, one day I was really harassing him and doing Carltons dance and everyone was laughing etc and he was finally starting to laugh at himself.
2 days later, i'm in Vegas at the Bellagio at Light or whatever that club was called and went to take a piss. Coming out of the bathroom, i bump right into that guy. So random. Small world. So i look at him "hey man, what the fuck are you doing here" and He just stares at me with a blank face. I asked him if he was ok, and he's just looking at me.. maybe a little nervous at this point and looked kinda off. So i started doing the dance Carlton does and he just snorted and scoffed and walked past me and i said something like "look dude, why are you tryin to act like you don't know me - you're kind of a dick right now" or whatever in my drunken stupor. Anyway, I go back to sit with my friend who was local and he points across the room, "hey look, there's Carlton" and i look at him and say "yeah, that guy goes to my gym in Seattle.".. he looks at me like i'm mildly retarded and said, "i don't think he lives in Seattle". I was getting little frustrated with the subject at this point and shot back "dude, i talk to him almost everyday, i know where he lives and I give him shit every day for looking like Carlton". My friend says "uhm... no, that guy over there is Carlton, .. you know, Alfonso Ribiero... and I have no fucking clue what you are talking about and you sound like an insane person". Then i realized,... oops, that was actually Carlton. |
Lol
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What I wrote about was not a terrible encounter, and it's potentially libelous, so I'm retracting it... sorry.
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For some odd reason I took my ex that year, and she was a hardcore drama queen. She decided to get into an argument with me over who knows what reason and stormed out of the club. Of course I followed her and we argued out on the casino floor a bit, and she then decided to storm back into the club. There was a couple guys in front of her and she actually shoved a chubby black guy out of her way. He turns around with this stunned look on his face, and of course it's Carlton again. I felt really bad and apologized to him, and he was really cool about it, and when I got back in the club I told me ex she was a psycho and just shoved Carlton on her way in, to which she replied "I don't care who that n*gger is!". She was a real treat that girl... |
"mandatory tip" - Murica :)
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In 2006, I was living in Hollywood and my VERY attractive friend Anita was visiting from California. I took her out to Sardo's in Burbank for Porn Star Karaoke Night. We got there at 7:30 to grab up great seats and who do we see sitting at the bar but JOHN GOODMAN!
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...psivhvcvvj.jpg After we ordered drinks, I suggested that we go meet him. When we got up to him we realized he was fucking BLOTTOED! He made it quickly clear that he was not at all happy that we were there and babbled some obscenities. (NOTE: To date, he is the ONLY person that I have ever encountered who was not THRILLED to meet beautiful and sexy Anita!) After a few minutes, they called him to the stage and he proceeded to perform the WORST rendition of a a Blues Brothers song known to mankind. No one clapped at the end and a few booed. He yelled "FUCK ALL OF YOU", threw the mic and stand down on to the floor and stormed out. A few minutes later, Anita says she wants to try out the donut shop next door. We walk in and there's Mr. Goodman with what appears to have been a Bavarian Cream and chocolate grenade had detonated in his face! I whipped out my camera and we were tossed out before I could catch that magical moment. The End. |
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http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...psltic79ob.jpg http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...pshrpqnmmh.jpg |
story was better without the pics, she was much hotter as well in my mind.
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Fortunately, I never encountered a celebrity ...
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I bet Caitlyn Jenner's victim feels a bit terrible.
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some good ones
Tom Hulce - I'm actually a fan of his. We're at a pastry counter. His cake comes, wrapped in a box. I recognize him, start getting that stupid "I see a celebrity" face on (I had just moved to NYC). He turns, sees my face, then he gets an "Oh Shit" face on and literally flees the place.
Madonna - I'm in Petrossian. I'm waiting for a table, Madonna is walking out. Someone asks her for an autograph. Petrossian has that heavy glass door, only one person at a time. She has her date or bodyguard or whatever literally move the person out of the way. She leaves. We all sit there in silence. Luciano Pavarotti - I'm in line waiting to meet him. This crusty old bitch, like you have in all such lines, starts yelling about how long she's been waiting. Luciano starts yelling at her, in this beautiful tenor. He just did an opera. While they're yelling invectives at one another, I leave. That wrinkly douchebag from Aerosmith - he wears John Lennon glasses to look "smart". He comes up to me at an art show, trying to mack on the two girls I'm with. He opens with a line designed again to make him look "smart". We all just look at him. He goes away with a snort of disgust. If I was alone, I would have been polite, but, then, he wouldn't have approached me. These were slutty 9s. Anyone in NYC has a ton of these. |
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He gave me craps - Nothing more to say...
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What did you do with the panties? |
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http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...49_468x522.jpg |
I caught my mom giving Lee Majors a hand job.
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As a side note, I don't get the celebrity obsession. THey are just people, who gives a fuck if you have seen one or met one? |
I sat next to Rich Gannon at a Rolling Stones concert. He was really drunk (before it even started) and he says to me, "Hey, I'm Rich Gannon." I just sort of shrugged, like I give a fuck. So he pulls out his Vikings ID and says, "Nobody ever believes me." I still don't give a fuck. Then he asked me if there was still time to get more beer. How should I know? He makes a beer run but missed the first song. I still don't give a fuck.
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So just a few years ago I heard he was hosting a speaking engagement at a local collegiate. I was hell bent on meeting him, shaking his hand and thanking him for such a great childhood memory. I had just pulled into the empty parking when I saw a big white cadillac pull in a few rows away. Out climbs Henderson...by himself. No staff, nothing. Just he and I in the parking lot. I got outta my car...walked over just as he was opening the car trunk, and we struck up a conversation. I was star-struck...but managed to keep my cool. He asked if I would help him carry his pamphlets and brochures into the building. I was delighted, it gave me more opportunity to chat more one-on-one with the hockey legend. He's not just "people". He was a boyhood hero that scored one of the greatest goals in the history of hockey...and at time that I ate, breathed and slept all things hockey. He was an extremely gracious and friendly guy...very down to earth. And despite hearing tens of thousands of stories from people telling where they were and what they were doing when he scored the goal...he politely listened to my story...and thanked me at the end for sharing it with him. "Who gives a fuck...they're just celebrities"? Some celebrities transcend merely celebrity status...and do something so great, it's just an honour to have the chance to briefly meet them...if only to say thanks for a great memory. |
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Garrett Wang. Was at some show in Vegas and was playing craps for awhile when this asian guy joins me. I thought he looked familiar, but assumed he was at the conference and maybe we had met a couple years before. So after like 2 hours i finally figured it out. I am a huge Star trek fan so it was a delight for me. We just hung out playing craps for about 3-4 hours. Luckily someone came along and took a picture for me.
:) I won about 700 he won about 1200...was a good night. |
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That's funny but how can you be a fan of his? He starred in only one decent movie "Amadeus" (directed by Milos Forman). The first video I ever purchased.... love that flick for him but mainly for F. Murray Abraham |
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