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Rules of Minnesota
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3.You say our lakes smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over
it.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000
combines that are driven only 3 times a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand You better hope you don't have it up to your
ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat walleye & northern pike and love it. You really want
sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
Religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion, Pepper, and Garlic!
12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute,
know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a hell of a lot more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -it
spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try St. Olaf, Concordia, Gustavus or St. John's. They come out of
there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they
still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than
any other state, so 'Don't screw with Minnesota ,' If you do, you
will get whipped by the best.'
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