Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!! - GoFuckYourself.com

Tjeezers · 12-04-2010, 12:43 AM

A friend of mines shared this one :

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!!

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed! He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son. what happened last night?'

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'

His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!!'

PurrrsianPussyKat · 12-04-2010, 12:46 AM

LOL Love it!

CYF · 12-04-2010, 12:52 AM

Chosen · 12-04-2010, 06:02 AM

Sharona · 12-04-2010, 06:06 AM

hahaha :D

2intense · 12-04-2010, 06:21 AM

CaptainHowdy · 12-04-2010, 06:50 AM

I don't get it...

wild johnny · 12-04-2010, 06:51 AM

That was good. Laughing!

thickcash_amo · 12-04-2010, 06:53 AM

hahaha that was great!

VladS · 12-04-2010, 06:56 AM

Awesome.

ottopottomouse · 12-04-2010, 07:28 AM

gleem · 12-04-2010, 07:30 AM

lol sure way to get out of trouble for you married drinkers

woj · 12-04-2010, 07:52 AM

iggysick · 12-04-2010, 07:54 AM

selena · 12-04-2010, 08:08 AM

Good one!

John-ACWM · 12-04-2010, 09:55 AM

good one, thanks for the laugh!

CamsMaster · 12-04-2010, 10:34 AM

wow this is life.... shit I love the story ...

seeandsee · 12-04-2010, 10:58 AM

Nice joke but a bit long

Spunky · 12-04-2010, 11:56 AM

I hate being treated like a piece of meat

_Richard_ · 12-04-2010, 11:57 AM

munki · 12-04-2010, 12:01 PM

eldominik · 12-04-2010, 12:27 PM

Cliff notes?

Tjeezers · 12-05-2010, 12:53 AM

no cliff notes here

tiger · 12-05-2010, 01:25 AM

hahahah thats perfect!

rayadp05 · 12-05-2010, 01:52 AM

Haha...that's great.

Machete_ · 12-05-2010, 02:02 AM

this joke is older than I

Matyko · 12-05-2010, 02:20 AM

Excellent one, shared on facebook

Double trouble · 12-05-2010, 02:23 AM

He must love his wife

JFK · 12-05-2010, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eldominik

Cliff notes?

leave me alone Bitch

Danny B · 12-05-2010, 07:03 AM

Win, thanks for the laughs!

djroof · 12-05-2010, 07:09 AM

lol................

eroticsexxx · 12-05-2010, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Double trouble

He must love his wife

Actually, a more likely scenario was that the last woman he remembered talking to in his inebriated state was butt-fuck ugly...

12-04-2010, 12:43 AM	#1
Tjeezers Webmaster Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: BP4L - NL/RO Posts: 16,567	Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!! A friend of mines shared this one : Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed! He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian' He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son. what happened last night?' 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.' Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??' His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!!' __________________ Enroll in the SWAG Affiliate Asian Live Cam Program and get 9 free quality linkbacks from my network! Wanna see how old school I am? Look at this! All my Cam Review Sites are here!

12-04-2010, 12:46 AM	#2
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12-04-2010, 12:52 AM	#3
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12-04-2010, 06:50 AM	#7
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12-04-2010, 06:02 AM	#4
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12-04-2010, 06:06 AM	#5
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12-04-2010, 06:51 AM	#8
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12-04-2010, 06:53 AM	#9
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12-04-2010, 06:56 AM	#10
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12-04-2010, 07:28 AM	#11
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12-04-2010, 07:30 AM	#12
gleem Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Sunny Land Posts: 5,593	lol sure way to get out of trouble for you married drinkers __________________ Contact me: \\// E: webmaster /at/ unprofessional.com

12-04-2010, 07:52 AM	#13
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12-04-2010, 08:08 AM	#15
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12-04-2010, 09:55 AM	#16
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12-04-2010, 10:34 AM	#17
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12-04-2010, 10:58 AM	#18
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	Nice joke but a bit long __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

12-04-2010, 11:56 AM	#19
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12-04-2010, 11:57 AM	#20
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12-04-2010, 12:01 PM	#21
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12-04-2010, 12:27 PM	#22
eldominik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: EU Posts: 454	Cliff notes?

12-05-2010, 12:53 AM	#23
Tjeezers Webmaster Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: BP4L - NL/RO Posts: 16,567	no cliff notes here __________________ Enroll in the SWAG Affiliate Asian Live Cam Program and get 9 free quality linkbacks from my network! Wanna see how old school I am? Look at this! All my Cam Review Sites are here!

12-05-2010, 01:25 AM	#24
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12-05-2010, 01:52 AM	#25
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12-05-2010, 02:02 AM	#26
Machete_ WINNING! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,579	this joke is older than I

12-05-2010, 02:20 AM	#27
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12-05-2010, 02:23 AM	#28
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12-05-2010, 07:03 AM	#30
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12-05-2010, 07:09 AM	#31
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