What is Wrong with this Tour? - GoFuckYourself.com

digitaldivas · 12-13-2010, 07:24 PM

too generic? or awesome? feedback appreciated

http://www.pantyhosedfetish.com/tour.html

babymaker · 12-13-2010, 07:30 PM

Needs more pizzaz

If you read it its ok if you know the fetish but most wont do that you need something in the header to grab attention, the pix and stuff was pretty far down

Frasier · 12-13-2010, 07:49 PM

This text is horrible. Redundant ideas and short choppy, incomplete sentences

Quote:

I have Complete Pantyhose and Nylon Fetish Video Libraries inside of my Exclusive Members Area! Welcome to my Tour! Here is a little bit about us! I book, shoot, edit and categorize each and every set, lovingly sorted by High Quality Pantyhose and Nylon Images, Pantyhose Fetish Vidcaps of my Stocking Video of each and every model! In addition, I offer Pantyhose Video of each model inside my Members Area. You will recognize some of this content from my sister site Beautifulfeetonline.com. As of October, 2010, I am shooting models Exclusively for this PH site! The shoots will be independent from Beautifulfeetonline.com. So you get a totally different aspect of the model. This is and always will be an Amateur Pantyhose and Nylon Fetish Video Website. As well as a labor of love!

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Pay someone to rewrite this ASAP. I mean this in the most constructive way possible. Please do this.

digitaldivas · 12-13-2010, 09:44 PM

thanks frasier. I did that for keyword purposes. guess i went a little apeshit?

12-13-2010, 07:24 PM	#1
digitaldivas ..I Heart Cannibal Corpse Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: California Posts: 4,327	What is Wrong with this Tour? too generic? or awesome? feedback appreciated http://www.pantyhosedfetish.com/tour.html __________________ ... Last edited by digitaldivas; 12-13-2010 at 07:25 PM..

12-13-2010, 07:30 PM	#2
babymaker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: philly Posts: 4,752	Needs more pizzaz If you read it its ok if you know the fetish but most wont do that you need something in the header to grab attention, the pix and stuff was pretty far down __________________ $99mo Hosted CMS From ElevatedX! ICQ 293125596

12-13-2010, 09:44 PM	#4
digitaldivas ..I Heart Cannibal Corpse Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: California Posts: 4,327	thanks frasier. I did that for keyword purposes. guess i went a little apeshit? __________________ ...