Horrible Online Dating Stories To Keep You Single - GoFuckYourself.com

drriley · 01-20-2011, 09:36 AM

Horrible Online Dating Stories To Keep You Single

Holy shit: the internet is teeming with awesomely horrible people for you to date. We asked for your stories, and you good god, you delivered. Let's skip the foreplay and get right to the dirtiest half-dozen.

1. Say Uncle

I have known a girl ? who we will call Molly ? since we were young. I know her immediate family very well. We grew up and drifted apart, but stayed friends on Facebook.

Flash forward to last year, when I was a college student. I received several messages from a cute lady on OkCupid, and I was psyched until I saw that there was a steep language barrier and she was looking for women to have sex with her while her husband watched, which is not my bag. They were all about a subservient master/slaves relationship, with the big strong man dominating the little women. Her entire profile was "my master" this and "my master" that; he was this remarkably jacked bald white 40-something, and she was a slender, pretty Asian 20-something who had met him while he was stationed overseas. Her pictures didn't show full frontal, but she basically came as close to all-out porn as she could without breaking the rules; mostly in costumes obviously meant to play on her heritage, and all of it with coy sexual captions about how her master likes her holes.

I glanced at the master's profile, saw his thoughts on feminism (the only time he gets in touch with his feminine side is to give it a firm spanking like the dirty little slut that it is), snorted, and moved on.

Or so I thought.

This summer, I started flipping through photos of my old friend Molly that had been tagged on Facebook. I came across one in particular, and I stared at it for a while, because I couldn't figure out why the man with his arm around her looked so familiar. The caption said that Molly was his niece, and I eventually decided that it was pinging me strangely just because he looked like his brother, Molly's father, who was almost like a second dad to me when we were kids.

Then I clicked "next" in the album. It was a picture of the woman from the OkCupid sexytimes pictures. I realized why Molly's uncle had looked so familiar: he was the proud anti-feminist who had wanted to get off on me having sex with his wife.

So now I'm in this weird place where I've seen mostly-naked very sexual pictures of my childhood friend's aunt dressed up like a Vietnamese prostitute

Continue reading ....

~Ray · 01-20-2011, 10:03 AM

it's a wild wild web man

96ukssob · 01-20-2011, 10:07 AM

the interwebs are full of crazy bitches

Sunny Day · 01-20-2011, 04:56 PM

Was at lunch one day. Young couple was at the next table. From the conversation, co-workers from the court house, possibly assistant DAs. I had to drink 6 margaritas to hear the whole conversation. She said her fiance had just dumped her for no real reason. Seemed several men had dumped her. The more paranoid her story got, the farther away he moved from the table. Then she was getting anonymous letters of a semi-theatening nature. She took them to a psychiatrist, who said the letters were from probably from a woman, with suppressed lesbian tendencies, who for some reason hated her. The look on his face, I could tell he was thinking exactly what I was thinking, Miss Dual Personality was writing them to herself.

lazycash · 01-20-2011, 05:34 PM

Met my wife 10 years ago from an online dating site, just have to persevere.

01-20-2011, 09:36 AM	#1
drriley Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 263	Horrible Online Dating Stories To Keep You Single Horrible Online Dating Stories To Keep You Single Holy shit: the internet is teeming with awesomely horrible people for you to date. We asked for your stories, and you good god, you delivered. Let's skip the foreplay and get right to the dirtiest half-dozen. 1. Say Uncle I have known a girl ? who we will call Molly ? since we were young. I know her immediate family very well. We grew up and drifted apart, but stayed friends on Facebook. Flash forward to last year, when I was a college student. I received several messages from a cute lady on OkCupid, and I was psyched until I saw that there was a steep language barrier and she was looking for women to have sex with her while her husband watched, which is not my bag. They were all about a subservient master/slaves relationship, with the big strong man dominating the little women. Her entire profile was "my master" this and "my master" that; he was this remarkably jacked bald white 40-something, and she was a slender, pretty Asian 20-something who had met him while he was stationed overseas. Her pictures didn't show full frontal, but she basically came as close to all-out porn as she could without breaking the rules; mostly in costumes obviously meant to play on her heritage, and all of it with coy sexual captions about how her master likes her holes. I glanced at the master's profile, saw his thoughts on feminism (the only time he gets in touch with his feminine side is to give it a firm spanking like the dirty little slut that it is), snorted, and moved on. Or so I thought. This summer, I started flipping through photos of my old friend Molly that had been tagged on Facebook. I came across one in particular, and I stared at it for a while, because I couldn't figure out why the man with his arm around her looked so familiar. The caption said that Molly was his niece, and I eventually decided that it was pinging me strangely just because he looked like his brother, Molly's father, who was almost like a second dad to me when we were kids. Then I clicked "next" in the album. It was a picture of the woman from the OkCupid sexytimes pictures. I realized why Molly's uncle had looked so familiar: he was the proud anti-feminist who had wanted to get off on me having sex with his wife. So now I'm in this weird place where I've seen mostly-naked very sexual pictures of my childhood friend's aunt dressed up like a Vietnamese prostitute Continue reading ....

01-20-2011, 10:03 AM	#2
~Ray visit hardlinks.org Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Las Vegas , Nv >>> [email protected] or icq 94994627 anytime Posts: 18,362	it's a wild wild web man __________________ Adult Backlinks for Adult Websites - Testimonials Available

01-20-2011, 10:07 AM	#3
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	the interwebs are full of crazy bitches __________________ Email: Clicky on Me

01-20-2011, 05:34 PM	#5
lazycash Troll Patrol Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Local Socal Posts: 15,214	Met my wife 10 years ago from an online dating site, just have to persevere. __________________ "WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams.. Its crazy..." VenusBlogger

01-20-2011, 04:56 PM	#4
Sunny Day Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,406	Was at lunch one day. Young couple was at the next table. From the conversation, co-workers from the court house, possibly assistant DAs. I had to drink 6 margaritas to hear the whole conversation. She said her fiance had just dumped her for no real reason. Seemed several men had dumped her. The more paranoid her story got, the farther away he moved from the table. Then she was getting anonymous letters of a semi-theatening nature. She took them to a psychiatrist, who said the letters were from probably from a woman, with suppressed lesbian tendencies, who for some reason hated her. The look on his face, I could tell he was thinking exactly what I was thinking, Miss Dual Personality was writing them to herself.