MALE v FEMALE AT THE ATM - GoFuckYourself.com

sponsorpimp · 07-04-2011, 04:57 AM

You may have seen this one, not sure...

A new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it..

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.?

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release Hand Brake.

* I would like to add - NOT all females are like the above description

u-Bob · 07-04-2011, 05:01 AM

hehe

seeandsee · 07-04-2011, 05:13 AM

lol some of those might be really true

martinsc · 07-04-2011, 05:14 AM

hahaha

that's so mean and so true at the same time

Jon Oso · 07-04-2011, 05:16 AM

that was fucking hilarious... and describes 9/10 of the girls I work with.

DiF0r · 07-04-2011, 05:33 AM

lol so true :D

J. Falcon · 07-04-2011, 05:46 AM

Pretty funny.

ottopottomouse · 07-04-2011, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sponsorpimp

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release Hand Brake.

It's all in the details

Sid70 · 07-04-2011, 07:49 AM

I sure saw some of that kind.

Juicy D. Links · 07-04-2011, 07:51 AM

: thumbsup

campimp · 07-04-2011, 07:56 AM

sadly, with the exception of the purse part, describes me perfectly after a couple bong hits lol

amateurbfs · 07-04-2011, 08:05 AM

Even worse than women on the ATM are third worlders.. It's like they are scared to press the buttons.

Shey · 07-04-2011, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amateurbfs

Even worse than women on the ATM are third worlders.. It's like they are scared to press the buttons.

This is true, actually met a 40 year old guy that had never used an ATM machine in his life. Also for some reason Korean males are unable to use ATMs even when they are in their language, go figure.

Antonio · 07-04-2011, 08:20 AM

I knew I had a feminine side - I keep forgetting the handbreak

bronco67 · 07-04-2011, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sponsorpimp

You may have seen this one, not sure...

A new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it..

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.?

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release Hand Brake.

* I would like to add - NOT all females are like the above description

I think you could trim down the male version a little.

Chosen · 07-04-2011, 09:36 AM

Sly · 07-04-2011, 09:45 AM

We need one of these about old people and self checkout registers.

RebelR · 07-04-2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shey

This is true, actually met a 40 year old guy that had never used an ATM machine in his life. Also for some reason Korean males are unable to use ATMs even when they are in their language, go figure.

They only develop and build the technology not actually use it.

NaughtyRob · 07-04-2011, 10:01 AM

Sounds exactly right.

Double trouble · 07-04-2011, 10:09 AM

so true

cooldude7 · 07-04-2011, 10:15 AM

this is funny, i have seen the other version of it.

Spunky · 07-04-2011, 10:22 AM

They need a separate one because they take so damn long

martinsc · 07-04-2011, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

They need a separate one because they take so damn long

RyuLion · 07-04-2011, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NaughtyRob

Sounds exactly right.

hollywoodskincompany · 07-04-2011, 11:55 AM

Be Aware of the BOOB Flashing ATM Thieves http://www.hollywoodskincompany.com/...g-atm-thieves/

SekobA · 07-04-2011, 12:09 PM

Ohh i fund myself in Female Procedure

blackmonsters · 07-04-2011, 12:13 PM

$ex · 07-04-2011, 10:19 PM

Too funny - And spot on

nikki99 · 07-05-2011, 05:46 AM

gmr324 · 07-05-2011, 05:59 AM

funny shit

DamianJ · 07-05-2011, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sponsorpimp

[B] ATM machine

Is that like a PIN number?

Sophie Delancey · 07-05-2011, 11:32 AM

I've never seen a drive-through ATM in my life. Must not be a city thing. Or a Canadian thing.

AnimeFevers · 07-05-2011, 11:37 AM

Funny but I've seen this before

07-04-2011, 04:57 AM	#1
sponsorpimp Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,567	MALE v FEMALE AT THE ATM You may have seen this one, not sure... A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.' MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the ATM. 2. LOWER your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Raise window. 7. Drive off. *********************** ** FEMALE PROCEDURE:** 1. Drive up to ATM machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Put hand brake on, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN . 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet.? 20. Reverse back to ATM machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and drive off. 25. Redial person on mobile phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres. 27. Release Hand Brake. * I would like to add - NOT all females are like the above description __________________ Last edited by sponsorpimp; 07-04-2011 at 04:59 AM..

07-04-2011, 05:13 AM	#3
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	lol some of those might be really true __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

07-04-2011, 05:14 AM	#4
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	hahaha that's so mean and so true at the same time __________________ Make Money

07-04-2011, 05:16 AM	#5
Jon Oso Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Cardboard Box Posts: 2,241	that was fucking hilarious... and describes 9/10 of the girls I work with. __________________ icq 416133583 My Blog Clips4Sale Store

07-04-2011, 05:33 AM	#6
DiF0r Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 1,516	lol so true :D __________________ Hardcore Porn - submit your freesites MovieRoom - over 30 categories and SMART banners AmateurMatch - WebCamClub - DateMatch - AsianAmateurMatch GayAmateurMatch - LesbianAmateurMatch - EbonyAmateurMatch - BeeMatch - Romancer

07-04-2011, 05:01 AM	#2
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	hehe

07-04-2011, 05:46 AM	#7
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,563	Pretty funny. __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

07-04-2011, 07:49 AM	#9
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	I sure saw some of that kind. __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

07-04-2011, 07:51 AM	#10
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	: thumbsup

07-04-2011, 07:56 AM	#11
campimp Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Gamehendge Posts: 1,340	sadly, with the exception of the purse part, describes me perfectly after a couple bong hits lol

07-04-2011, 08:05 AM	#12
amateurbfs Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,316	Even worse than women on the ATM are third worlders.. It's like they are scared to press the buttons. __________________

07-04-2011, 08:20 AM	#14
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	I knew I had a feminine side - I keep forgetting the handbreak

07-04-2011, 09:36 AM	#16
Chosen VIPPay.com \| AdultWebSponsors.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 63,151

07-04-2011, 09:45 AM	#17
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,290	We need one of these about old people and self checkout registers. __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available. Wanted: CCBill pay sites for sale

07-04-2011, 10:01 AM	#19
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07-04-2011, 10:09 AM	#20
Double trouble So Fucking What? Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 22,251	so true __________________

07-04-2011, 10:15 AM	#21
cooldude7 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Heaven Posts: 4,306	this is funny, i have seen the other version of it.

07-04-2011, 10:22 AM	#22
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,919	They need a separate one because they take so damn long __________________ *Skype : Spunky GFY*

07-04-2011, 11:55 AM	#25
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07-04-2011, 12:09 PM	#26
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07-04-2011, 12:13 PM	#27
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07-04-2011, 10:19 PM	#28
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07-05-2011, 05:46 AM	#29
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07-05-2011, 05:59 AM	#30
gmr324 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,199	funny shit

07-05-2011, 11:32 AM	#32
Sophie Delancey Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 1,249	I've never seen a drive-through ATM in my life. Must not be a city thing. Or a Canadian thing.

07-05-2011, 11:37 AM	#33
AnimeFevers ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ▄ █ ▄ █ Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Tell your mom, money is on the fridge Posts: 3,558	Funny but I've seen this before __________________ icq - 556766871 email - animefevers(AT)hotmail(DOT)co(DOT)uk