Tips for Amsterdam newbs [Quite long]

[DamianJ]

N00b guide to Amsterdam, WMA.

Thought this might be useful for any first timers to Amsterdam.

Arriving
Your plane lands and you get off. Easy so far. Your legs might ache a bit and shit. Deal with that. Don't worry about the signs. They are written in Dutchish and proper English, so it's all gravy.

Go pee in the loo if you are a man. You can if you are a lady too, but men really have too. They had an idea to try and stop men pissing all over the floor in urinals. They got a sticker of a picture of a fly and put it in the bog. So when you piss, there is something FUN to piss on! Very clever, and very little piss on the floor. So far, so Dutch.

Pop along to customs and get through that. They are nice and friendly and there is no TSA arseholes getting in yo' grill.

Collect your bags. This is important. You don't want to be in Holland without clean underwear.

Whilst waiting for your luggage, pay attention to the clever people by what looks like a ticket machine. They are not playing Twister. They are buying tickets for the train to town and you should too.

A cab will cost 50 Euros if it's not rush hour and still take AGES. The train is about 4 Euros and takes 25 minutes or so. It's faster, cheaper, and easier than a cab. Even when I was spunking Playboy's money on expenses I got the train!

So, back to this machine. Go up to up. It will have a button saying ENGLISH. Press said button. It will now show you words in English and not Dutchish! It's like the future I tells ya.

So get a single ticket to CENTRAAL STATION. You can pay with a credit card.

Get your bags and follow the people and signs out. You are then in the airport terminal. Follow signs for the trains. You kinda go down a bit then right. It's platforms 3 or 4.

Few stops later you arrive in the heart of Amsterdam.

As I found out with Smiley last year, there are two exits from the station. One is good. One is BAD. Do not go out the bad one. Follow most people and you'll be all good.

From there, you can either walk or get a cab. If it's your first time, I recommend a walk. The show hotel is probably 20 minute walk from the station and it's easy to find if you look on maps.google.nl

Then you get to go explore!

Drugs
The weed is legal to smoke and buy from licensed coffee shops. Do not get it anywhere else. Tobacco is illegal to smoke inside coffee shops. So you can smoke weed, but not baccy. So no mixed joints. Some people view this as a good thing anyway.

Depending on what you are used to, the weed is strong. Let me qualify that. If you are getting the finest Cali medical shit, then you are not going to be impressed with Amsterdam weed at all. If you had a few tokes at college,then you are going to get fucked up.

The most mainstream coffeeshops have the worst weed, like The Bulldog. Try and find places where the Dutch go. Smaller ones usually. That said, Barney's Breakfast Bar is very popular but does do excellent ish.

Point is, if you are not used to it, and especially if you've been drinking, the weed will mess you up big time. Take it easy.

Hash cakes can take up to AN HOUR to work. So do not eat half then eat the other half 20 mins later cos nothing has happened.

Don't buy anything from the dodgy guys on the street corners in the Red Light District. Ever.

Mushrooms are legal here and they have many many types. Go explore if that is your thing.

Sex
Don't really know much about the paid for sex thing, a Google search will be more useful than me.

The Red Light District is a great place to explore even if you have no intention of buying a whore. It's great to look, and window shop.

The show
Same as any other. Go, talk to people you don't know, see if you can do business! It's that simple. The parties are usually excellent. Always worth hitting the lunch and cocktail parties too.

Noobs should go to all the seminars. You'll learn more in a couple of days than you would in months. (Obviously many seminars are not aimed at the newb).

Food
Amsterdam is quite like NYC or London etc in as far as it's a melting pot of countries and people. So you can eat from any where in the world. A speciality street food is falafel. Fresh ones are so good. And they do fries really well. And, get this, they offer SATAY SAUCE too. So you can have fries and spicy peanut sauce. Sounds odd. Tastes fucking great.

The steaks are good. I like Gauchos. There are a few of them.

Difficult to recommend cos of different palates. I would go to tripadvisor.com and type in the sort of food you fancy and go from there.

Getting around
It's quite small. You can walk most places. May sound odd for someone from LA, but you really can. But cabs are plentiful and relatively cheap.

Hiring a bike is a must. Just for shitz and gglz.

Shit to do

Don't bother with Anne Frank house. It's sad and all, but a bit shit.

I would say:

Do a boat trip. Any of the ones from outside the train station will do. Takes you round all the canals, quite cool. (You can get one that will take you to the Zoo, which is another recommendation in a sec)

Zoo (see, here it is already). It's a Zoo. But it's pretty cool. For Americans, you can get much closer than you do in the States.

Van Gogh museum. Oddly, there is shit by Van Gogh here. It's worth seeing the original of Sunflowers. Really. The textures are stunning.

Walking. Just chill about walking. The canals are a bit of a maze, but make sense after a while. And you will find little bars and coffee shops, places to eat, etc tucked away.

Points to remember
Everyone speaks English, with a cool little accent. So don't worry about being understood. But it never hurts to learn at least please and thank you in Dutchlish.

Coffee isn't unlimited refills. You pay for each cup.

Many places don't accept credit cards so always have cash. (Big restaurants etc will, but many bars don't etc).

Trams are silent and dangerous! Watch out for them. Even when you're warned you still might die (Smiley?). Just keep looking both ways whenever you cross a road.

Canals are also silent and dangerous. Wandering around at night in the rain it's hard to tell the road and canal apart sometimes. Keep your eyes open.

Have fun.

And don't forget, if you want to see a magic trick, or talk to me about promoting the www.3wayscash.com sites, or about how to make your email more effective, look for the rubbery faced Brit with grey hair.

:D

Add your own tips!

[Deej]

Such a cool cat

[Roald]

hahaha great stuff can't wait to see you again!!!

[Matyko]

Very nice, thanks. I am missing A'dam a lot... Can't wait for the return in September.

[Iron Fist]

Awesome post

[BAKO]

Great tips thanks

[CrkMStanz]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

Coffee isn't unlimited refills. You pay for each cup.

very important tip, thanx

[Smiley]

i making it even easier....im flying to England to hang with this chap and ill be following him so i dont get lost...

bring shoes you like to walk in....you will be walking everywhere and its not all smooth pavement like in the states...

CANT WAIT FOR THIS TRIP....

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by CrkMStanz

very important tip, thanx

I've seen that fuck up more than one American before!!!

And to everyone else, thanks and I look forward to seeing all y'all too. Can't wait.

[baddog]

This will be my third trip there. Hopefully this time I will figure out the layout so that I am not lost again.

Every street looks the same, so trying to go by landmarks is pretty tough.

I have yet to find a cheap cab ride. They know you are a tourist and will shake you down to your last Euro.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Smiley

i making it even easier....im flying to England to hang with this chap and ill be following him so i dont get lost...

bring shoes you like to walk in....you will be walking everywhere and its not all smooth pavement like in the states...

CANT WAIT FOR THIS TRIP....

W00t!

Smiley in England!!!

I have curry lined up already.

And yes, good addition about the shoes!

[troncarver]

most mushroom strains are now illegal and if you americans want to buy eights of herb instead of grams go to grey area coffeeshop - it is owned and operated by americans and they will hook you up with amazing herb - not the tourist crap

if you want to buy some dope gear checkout http://www.hoodlamb.com/summersite/index.html - they have a shop near central station

[DamianJ]

Shit, didn't know that about shrooms! Thanks for the corrections.

[Si]

don't forget to visit casa rosso and the banana bar if you are heading to the red light district. some very talented performers there

Plus for the beer lovers: go to the Heineken museum!

[troncarver]

Originally Posted by mobilefun1987

don't forget to visit casa rosso and the banana bar if you are heading to the red light district. some very talented performers there

Plus for the beer lovers: go to the Heineken museum!

i personally think both of these venues are overpriced tourist traps - last time i checked it was 50+ euros to get into cassa rosso

[baddog]

Originally Posted by mobilefun1987

don't forget to visit casa rosso and the banana bar if you are heading to the red light district. some very talented performers there

Plus for the beer lovers: go to the Heineken museum!

Banana Bar = over hyped, not worth crossing the street to go inside.

Was $50 Euro for one hour, then you leave or pay another 50

[troncarver]

Originally Posted by baddog

This will be my third trip there. Hopefully this time I will figure out the layout so that I am not lost again.

Every street looks the same, so trying to go by landmarks is pretty tough.

I have yet to find a cheap cab ride. They know you are a tourist and will shake you down to your last Euro.

yea you should avoid cab drivers at all cost unless you agree to a fair flat rate before you get in the car. avoid the turkish drivers - they can be very aggressive and lock your ass in the car

[Andy CHOOPA]

Ive got to say, last year was my first year there and this is very accurate.

[Si]

Originally Posted by troncarver

i personally think both of these venues are overpriced tourist traps - last time i checked it was 50+ euros to get into cassa rosso

Originally Posted by baddog

Banana Bar = over hyped, not worth crossing the street to go inside.

Was $50 Euro for one hour, then you leave or pay another 50

Nevermind that it's a bit of good fun and something to do. and Obviously they are going to rip you off to some degree, its a tourist attraction.

I found amsterdam no more expensive than niagara falls to be honest. but depends what you wanna do.

Either way, amsterdam is a good laugh but you have to be careful

[troncarver]

Originally Posted by Andy CHOOPA

Ive got to say, last year was my first year there and this is very accurate.

we met in phx right? will i see you in miami?

[Deesnuts]

nice tips

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by baddog

This will be my third trip there. Hopefully this time I will figure out the layout so that I am not lost again.

Every street looks the same, so trying to go by landmarks is pretty tough.

I have yet to find a cheap cab ride. They know you are a tourist and will shake you down to your last Euro.

I have a tip.

Imagine a half a bike wheel. With centraal station as the hub. All the roads coming off are like spokes. Oh fuck it, I'll draw it...



And I've never been ripped off in a cab there. Maybe they prefer a British accent to an American one?

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by mobilefun1987

Nevermind that it's a bit of good fun and something to do. and Obviously they are going to rip you off to some degree, its a tourist attraction.

I found amsterdam no more expensive than niagara falls to be honest. but depends what you wanna do.

Either way, amsterdam is a good laugh but you have to be careful

I can see both sides to this.

Yes, it is utterly shit. Old slappers shoving things up their cunts while you look.

But, you don't get to see that in many places.

So for the novelty, it's quite fun. But I got comped in when I went

:D

[troncarver]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

I have a tip.

Imagine a half a bike wheel. With centraal station as the hub. All the roads coming off are like spokes. Oh fuck it, I'll draw it...



And I've never been ripped off in a cab there. Maybe they prefer a British accent to an American one?

alot of people there are definitely bias to an american or american accent - sometimes i just suck it up and say i am from cananda eh

[fatfoo]

The weed is legal to smoke and buy from licensed coffee shops. Do not get it anywhere else. Tobacco is illegal to smoke inside coffee shops.

So you can smoke weed inside the coffee shops in Amsterdam?

[troncarver]

a few years ago we were trying to get a cab from amsterdam to munchin (i know right) and the cab drivers put all our luggage in the trunk and then locked us in the backseats and apparently were trying to steal our luggage so we had to reach around and open the door from the front fuckin cocksuckers

same year our room at the kransnopolsky got broken into and they stole 1 US passport - left our laptops now that is scary

[Si]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

I can see both sides to this.

Yes, it is utterly shit. Old slappers shoving things up their cunts while you look.

But, you don't get to see that in many places.

So for the novelty, it's quite fun. But I got comped in when I went

:D

yeah excactly.

not many pubs in england you can go into and get a girl to write you a postcard with her pussy

Shit i forgot!

DO NOT GO IN THE PEEPSHOWS!

fucking cum everywhere!

[Holly Lez!]

YAY great tips! I can't wait!

[Houdini]

I went to Amsterdam last year and it was amazing. Stayed at the Park Plaza Victoria, which is basically across the street from Central Station. It was so nice to just get off the train, walk to the hotel, put the stuff away and explore. I didn't take a cab once. The first day I just walked around for hours and hours all over the place soaking everything in. Street maps are all over the place and pretty easy to read. You just need a central point, so you know where everything is in relation too. I can't wait to go back.

[Si]

Oh yeah and the thing about smoking in coffee shops isn't quite right either.

we smoked cigerettes in one of the bulldogs plus half/half joints etc. and they didn't give a shit.

Also (this was early 2008 last time I went) if you had a "non-smoking" room it meant you couldn't smoke canabis in the rooms and cigerettes were ok. not sure if that is still the case.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

N00b guide to Amsterdam, WMA.

Arriving
Your plane lands and you get off.

This is the part I always screw up.

[american pervert]

from what i was told they banned mushrooms recently.

[Bhunter]

Sex
Don't really know much about the paid for sex thing, a Google search will be more useful than me.

why pay in amsterdam...
with some little luck you'll find pussy to fuck the same night, tourist or local you pick!
i prefer tourist

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by american pervert

from what i was told they banned mushrooms recently.

shame!

boo.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

This is the part I always screw up.

It's a common mistake.

:D

[Naughty]

Mushrooms are not legal anymore, just so you know;-)
A friend of mine is the main supplier of everybody here and he had to close his factory few months back. They did find a loophole for some other stuff though, ask around ;-) I'd tell you if I knew, but I do not use that shit.

I have to say: just hit up Damian for that magic trick, it will blow your head off so you won't need the shrooms anyway;-). It did with me!

[Jago Webcams]

awesome guide Damian - spot on (especially about Barney's) - see you in amsterdam!

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Naughty

I have to say: just hit up Damian for that magic trick, it will blow your head off so you won't need the shrooms anyway;-). It did with me!

Maybe I could set up a shop there. "I will fuck your mind up - legally".

Hehe.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Jago Webcams

awesome guide Damian - spot on (especially about Barney's) - see you in amsterdam!

See you there man, I'm excited already!

[Fletch XXX]

yeah ive smoked out folks who have regularly attended cannabis cups and do Amsterdamn smoke tours and guess what....

"man this shit is better than any amsterdam weed Ive had"

bam!

MADE IN THE USA

[american pervert]

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

yeah ive smoked out folks who have regularly attended cannabis cups and do Amsterdamn smoke tours and guess what....

"man this shit is better than any amsterdam weed Ive had"

bam!

MADE IN THE USA

American weed shops have a much larger/better selection than any coffee shop in all of holland.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

yeah ive smoked out folks who have regularly attended cannabis cups and do Amsterdamn smoke tours and guess what....

"man this shit is better than any amsterdam weed Ive had"

bam!

MADE IN THE USA

Cannabis Cup is an odd thing. Seems to mainly be a tourist thing for Americans.

But I have been to Amsterdam about 20 times, and smoked highgrade Cali green many many times.

I agree, that American weed is much better than almost everything I've had in Amsterdam.

But, the hash in Amsterdam is the BEST!

[Titty Fucker]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

Cannabis Cup is an odd thing. Seems to mainly be a tourist thing for Americans.

But I have been to Amsterdam about 20 times, and smoked highgrade Cali green many many times.

I agree, that American weed is much better than almost everything I've had in Amsterdam.

But, the hash in Amsterdam is the BEST!

Yes...good weed is easy to find... its that Moroccan hashish that is to die for.

[Meeper]

This is my first Amsterdam show, so this is really helpful. Ive been to Europe before and it doesn't surprise me the train is the way to go. Thanks for the advice! ;D

[Holly Lez!]

I loved the Disco cab Chandie and I took that year!

[Miz_Wright]

And this is why everyone loves Damian!

[Fletch XXX]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

But, the hash in Amsterdam is the BEST!

Id compare the lebonese Blond and all kinds of hash I got from Humboldt Cali to any Amsterdam hash, where there is good weed, there is equally as good hashish

[riddler]

boy that guide was painful to read, it was like i strolled over to yahoo answers for a guide on what to do in amsterdam.

[Just Mike]

really good tips...even having been there 5 times I didn't know there was a bad exit to the centrale station..I learned something.


but seriousy..very handy info.

[Penthouse Tony]

Originally Posted by troncarver

a few years ago we were trying to get a cab from amsterdam to munchin (i know right) and the cab drivers put all our luggage in the trunk and then locked us in the backseats and apparently were trying to steal our luggage so we had to reach around and open the door from the front fuckin cocksuckers

same year our room at the kransnopolsky got broken into and they stole 1 US passport - left our laptops now that is scary

Was this with Ian? I think he told me about it.