Report: It's Pretty Incredible That Americans Entrusted With Driving Cars - GoFuckYourself.com

MrMaxwell · 03-27-2013, 11:01 PM

WASHINGTON?Citing that a majority of Americans are irresponsible, easily distracted people who have little regard for other human beings, a new Department of Transportation report revealed Wednesday that it?s ?actually kind of crazy? that U.S. citizens are allowed to drive automobiles. ?Americans make millions of mind-boggling, idiotic mistakes every day, and when taking into consideration the sheer amount of lives that could be lost due to just the slightest human error while driving, it?s actually pretty goddamn shocking that we let citizens operate 4,000-pound machines capable of going 200 mph,? the report read in part, later adding that if one truly thinks about who their neighbors, friends, and children are as people, the absolute last thing one would be comfortable with would be them merging onto a busy highway with cars traveling 85 mph. ?Consider the average American on Facebook who says things like ?first? or makes a bizarre Monica Lewinsky reference out of nowhere. Now think of somebody dumber than that. That person?s allowed to drive, too. Pretty nuts, right?? The report ultimately concluded that only 62 total Americans are intelligent and thoughtful enough to operate a motor vehicle.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rep...entrust,31828/

Harmon · 03-27-2013, 11:27 PM

MrMaxwell · 03-27-2013, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harmon

That is not quite accurate
I happen to have a laptop
So bling bling and i rock ice, motherfucker

mechanicvirus · 03-27-2013, 11:47 PM

Have you done the bird call lately?

Slap Dot · 03-27-2013, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mechanicvirus

Have you done the bird call lately?

I know I have.

Harmon · 03-28-2013, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slap Dot

I know I have.

03-27-2013, 11:01 PM	#1
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	Report: It's Pretty Incredible That Americans Entrusted With Driving Cars WASHINGTON?Citing that a majority of Americans are irresponsible, easily distracted people who have little regard for other human beings, a new Department of Transportation report revealed Wednesday that it?s ?actually kind of crazy? that U.S. citizens are allowed to drive automobiles. ?Americans make millions of mind-boggling, idiotic mistakes every day, and when taking into consideration the sheer amount of lives that could be lost due to just the slightest human error while driving, it?s actually pretty goddamn shocking that we let citizens operate 4,000-pound machines capable of going 200 mph,? the report read in part, later adding that if one truly thinks about who their neighbors, friends, and children are as people, the absolute last thing one would be comfortable with would be them merging onto a busy highway with cars traveling 85 mph. ?Consider the average American on Facebook who says things like ?first? or makes a bizarre Monica Lewinsky reference out of nowhere. Now think of somebody dumber than that. That person?s allowed to drive, too. Pretty nuts, right?? The report ultimately concluded that only 62 total Americans are intelligent and thoughtful enough to operate a motor vehicle. http://www.theonion.com/articles/rep...entrust,31828/

03-27-2013, 11:27 PM	#2
Harmon ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 20,000	__________________ [email protected]

03-27-2013, 11:47 PM	#4
mechanicvirus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,735	Have you done the bird call lately?