Easiest job in the world ! 'Legal Breaking & Entering'! - GoFuckYourself.com

CurrentlySober · 05-02-2013, 11:33 PM

My elderly neighbour knocked on my door last night at about 10pm, all of a tizzy and very upset. Shed managed to let the door close on her, and was locked out.

I went over and the door was firmly locked - She said she had a key hidden in the garden, but she couldn't find it cause it was dark and she wasn't exactly sure where it was n stuff...

All of a sudden, she hands me a large stone. I thought she had found her key, but she wanted me to smash one of windows with it! Well I wasn't going to do that, so I took her back to mine and called a 24hour locksmith.

He said he would be there in about 15 mins and he'd charge £40 - She said fine.

When he arrived, I went over with them, and openly said 'Look mate - This fascinates me, so I am gonna see how you do this. I was expecting him to use two little bits of wire like of TV or doing something really clever.

I'm not gonna say exactly what he did, but it fucking amazed me, and that door was open (With no damage) in less time it would have taken me to open it - WITH THE KEY!!!

Less than 1 seconds work, for £40 !

I know I'm gonna get the 'Thats nice Honey' and 'Cool Story Bro' comments, but I just thought I'd share a story with you all, that doesn't involve poo for a change

.

k0nr4d · 05-02-2013, 11:48 PM

Your story IS pointless - but you can really spice things up by telling us how he actually did it.

Antonio · 05-02-2013, 11:51 PM

wait until you see how much some doctors charge for a minute of work

k0nr4d · 05-02-2013, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

wait until you see how much some doctors charge for a minute of work

My girl is an ortodontist. Did you know the actual cost of the materials for braces usually costs < $100 yet they charge like $7-8k for the treatment?

mikesouth · 05-03-2013, 12:04 AM

Most locks except dead bolts can easily be opened with anything similar to a credit card.

windows are another easy entry point for a slim flat blade like a knife or a credit card

sliding doors are also easy specially the ones with bars

Theres an old saying A lock is only to keep an honest man out and that is true. Its also why I have guns handy at all times and in all places in my home (they are hidden) Even had to use one once but fortunately didn't have to shoot the fucker. but i did make him call the police to himself while i held him on his belly on the floor at gunpoint.

Oracle Porn · 05-03-2013, 03:44 AM

happened to me ones, I lost the key, called a locksmith, he just drilled that shit then when the door was open he just put up a new lock, a bit over $100

Ringo · 05-03-2013, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0nr4d

Your story IS pointless

Thanks, I do not read it

Emil · 05-03-2013, 03:57 AM

http://dx.com/p/rechargeable-electro...d-black-134928

TheDA · 05-03-2013, 04:03 AM

'Thats nice Honey' and 'Cool Story Bro'

purecane · 05-03-2013, 04:35 AM

I had to have one unlock my truck door. He wedged some kind of pillow looking thing between the A-pillar and the door, pumped it up with air and used a telescoping pointer pen thingy to push the unlock button.....2 minutes 60$

georgeyw · 05-03-2013, 05:04 AM

I forget the name of it, but turn a key and tap it with a hammer and bingo bango you're in.

FWIW, I would have smashed the window because there is nothing better than breaking shit!

Also 1 second work? Did he teleport to the job?

arock10 · 05-03-2013, 05:16 AM

Great now gfy going to be covered with locksmith threads

lezinterracial · 05-03-2013, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgeyw

I forget the name of it, but turn a key and tap it with a hammer and bingo bango you're in.

FWIW, I would have smashed the window because there is nothing better than breaking shit!

Also 1 second work? Did he teleport to the job?

Key bumping?

You guys follow Defcon?

lezinterracial · 05-03-2013, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arock10

Great now gfy going to be covered with locksmith threads

I hope they don't steal my bitcoins and firearms this way.

Matt 26z · 05-03-2013, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purecane73

I had to have one unlock my truck door. He wedged some kind of pillow looking thing between the A-pillar and the door, pumped it up with air and used a telescoping pointer pen thingy to push the unlock button.....2 minutes 60$

I just had to do something like that today.

I locked the keys inside and searched YouTube for ways to get them out. Many videos of the inflatable pads. I decided to simulate that by cutting some pieces of cardboard, stick two in and then slide more in between them. I did that towards the top corner and also side corner.

Then I was able to fairly easily get a coat hanger in above the cardboard wedge stuck in the side. I bent a hook on the end of the wire that was surprisingly easy to pull the door lock lever. The entire thing took only a few minutes.

Another option if your car is older and doesn't have expensive RFID keys is to take your title and ID to a dealer that sells the same brand and they'll cut a new key for $15-$20. They just look at your VIN number and can look up what key to cut.

epitome · 05-03-2013, 08:24 PM

Bump keys quickly get into pin tumbler locks.

Used to take me thirty seconds to get into most houses.

If that didn't work I'd just drill out the lock.

kane · 05-03-2013, 09:57 PM

He might have used a snap gun. It is basically a lock pin that can open most basic locks very quickly.

epitome · 05-03-2013, 11:53 PM

Speaking of locks, Kwikset is shit. Never buy that brand.

CurrentlySober · 05-04-2013, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgeyw

I forget the name of it, but turn a key and tap it with a hammer and bingo bango you're in.

No, nothing that sophisticated...

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgeyw

FWIW, I would have smashed the window because there is nothing better than breaking shit!

Not when an 86 year old, on limited income, has to pay for it...

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgeyw

Also 1 second work? Did he teleport to the job?

Millions of people all over the world, commute to work each day. I know people that wake up at 7am to get ready, and arrive at their job at 9am

They dont get paid for the commute - Nor the journey back, so yeah - Sorry - 1 Seconds work...

DWB · 05-04-2013, 08:15 AM

CS,
You can get DVDs online and various lock pick tools online. Basic lock opening is pretty easy once you are shown how it works and have the right tools. I bought some stuff online a while ago and was opening various locks within an hour of watching the first DVD.

ErectMedia · 05-04-2013, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

I know I'm gonna get the 'Thats nice Honey' and 'Cool Story Bro' comments, but I just thought I'd share a story with you all, that doesn't involve poo for a change

.

We know you made her poo on your chest for the help you provided

DirtyDanza · 05-04-2013, 09:05 AM

Locksmiths are majority isrealie guys... very easy work... the only thing that sucks is hours

Dvae · 05-04-2013, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

wait until you see how much some doctors charge for a minute of work

The thing is you're not paying him for a few minutes work, you're paying for his expertise which took him years of schooling and time spent in his practice. Add to that the enormous costs of medical equipment, staff, Medical offices, lights etc. insurance and on and on it goes.

Dvae · 05-04-2013, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purecane73

I had to have one unlock my truck door. He wedged some kind of pillow looking thing between the A-pillar and the door, pumped it up with air and used a telescoping pointer pen thingy to push the unlock button.....2 minutes 60$

Just as with the example with the doctor same thing applies here you see it is two minutes $60 wow $30 a minute.
You are paying him for what he knows not for the time spent otherwise there would be no need for people like him.

It's no different than you building a website for somebody who knows nothing about building websites you do it in an hour and charge them $500.

Chosen · 05-04-2013, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErectMedia

We know you made her poo on your chest for the help you provided

JP513 · 05-04-2013, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

wait until you see how much some doctors charge for a minute of work

I shoulda gone to medical school.
On second thought . . . I shoulda graduated from college.

John-ACWM · 05-06-2013, 11:34 AM

cool story actually!

05-02-2013, 11:33 PM	#1
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,536	Easiest job in the world ! 'Legal Breaking & Entering'! My elderly neighbour knocked on my door last night at about 10pm, all of a tizzy and very upset. Shed managed to let the door close on her, and was locked out. I went over and the door was firmly locked - She said she had a key hidden in the garden, but she couldn't find it cause it was dark and she wasn't exactly sure where it was n stuff... All of a sudden, she hands me a large stone. I thought she had found her key, but she wanted me to smash one of windows with it! Well I wasn't going to do that, so I took her back to mine and called a 24hour locksmith. He said he would be there in about 15 mins and he'd charge £40 - She said fine. When he arrived, I went over with them, and openly said 'Look mate - This fascinates me, so I am gonna see how you do this. I was expecting him to use two little bits of wire like of TV or doing something really clever. I'm not gonna say exactly what he did, but it fucking amazed me, and that door was open (With no damage) in less time it would have taken me to open it - WITH THE KEY!!! Less than 1 seconds work, for £40 ! I know I'm gonna get the 'Thats nice Honey' and 'Cool Story Bro' comments, but I just thought I'd share a story with you all, that doesn't involve poo for a change . __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

05-02-2013, 11:48 PM	#2
k0nr4d Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Poland Posts: 9,228	Your story IS pointless - but you can really spice things up by telling us how he actually did it. __________________ Mechanical Bunny Media Mechbunny Tube Script \| Mechbunny Webcam Aggregator Script \| Custom Web Development

05-03-2013, 12:04 AM	#5
mikesouth Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: My High Horse Posts: 6,334	Most locks except dead bolts can easily be opened with anything similar to a credit card. windows are another easy entry point for a slim flat blade like a knife or a credit card sliding doors are also easy specially the ones with bars Theres an old saying A lock is only to keep an honest man out and that is true. Its also why I have guns handy at all times and in all places in my home (they are hidden) Even had to use one once but fortunately didn't have to shoot the fucker. but i did make him call the police to himself while i held him on his belly on the floor at gunpoint. __________________ Mike South It's No wonder I took up drugs and alcohol, it's the only way I could dumb myself down enough to cope with the morons in this biz.

05-03-2013, 03:44 AM	#6
Oracle Porn Affiliate Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Icq: 94-399-723 Posts: 24,433	happened to me ones, I lost the key, called a locksmith, he just drilled that shit then when the door was open he just put up a new lock, a bit over $100 __________________

05-03-2013, 03:57 AM	#8
Emil Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Sweden Posts: 5,634	http://dx.com/p/rechargeable-electro...d-black-134928 __________________ Free 🅑🅘🅣🅒🅞🅘🅝🅢 Every Hour (Yes, really. Free ₿itCoins.) (Signup with ONLY your Email and Password. You can also refer people and get even more.)

05-02-2013, 11:51 PM	#3
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	wait until you see how much some doctors charge for a minute of work

05-03-2013, 04:03 AM	#9
TheDA Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 4,665	'Thats nice Honey' and 'Cool Story Bro' __________________ Sharleen Spiteri - 1989 - In The Ass

05-03-2013, 04:35 AM	#10
purecane Annakin Skywalker Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: megaminds' secret lair Posts: 1,324	I had to have one unlock my truck door. He wedged some kind of pillow looking thing between the A-pillar and the door, pumped it up with air and used a telescoping pointer pen thingy to push the unlock button.....2 minutes 60$ __________________ [email protected]

05-03-2013, 05:04 AM	#11
georgeyw 58008 53773 Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 9,864	I forget the name of it, but turn a key and tap it with a hammer and bingo bango you're in. FWIW, I would have smashed the window because there is nothing better than breaking shit! Also 1 second work? Did he teleport to the job? __________________ TripleXPrint on Megan Fox "I would STILL suck her pussy until her face caved in. And then blow her up and do it again!"

05-03-2013, 05:16 AM	#12
arock10 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 6,218	Great now gfy going to be covered with locksmith threads __________________ Sup

05-03-2013, 08:24 PM	#16
epitome So Fucking Lame Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Posts: 12,156	Bump keys quickly get into pin tumbler locks. Used to take me thirty seconds to get into most houses. If that didn't work I'd just drill out the lock.

05-03-2013, 09:57 PM	#17
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	He might have used a snap gun. It is basically a lock pin that can open most basic locks very quickly.

05-03-2013, 11:53 PM	#18
epitome So Fucking Lame Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Posts: 12,156	Speaking of locks, Kwikset is shit. Never buy that brand.

05-04-2013, 08:15 AM	#20
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	CS, You can get DVDs online and various lock pick tools online. Basic lock opening is pretty easy once you are shown how it works and have the right tools. I bought some stuff online a while ago and was opening various locks within an hour of watching the first DVD.

05-04-2013, 09:05 AM	#22
DirtyDanza Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: BP4L.... Las Vegas, Posts: 8,369	Locksmiths are majority isrealie guys... very easy work... the only thing that sucks is hours __________________ AVN Nominated Camming Couple

05-06-2013, 11:34 AM	#27
John-ACWM Work Work Work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: EU Posts: 20,060	cool story actually! __________________ Video Chat Forum