MaxCandy

**Things you don't want to hear your Dom/Master say when you're naked and tied up.**



1. "Um, I think I have another key around here somewhere..."

2. "Oops."

3. "Don't worry. I'm sure there's a locksmith somewhere that's open at 2AM..."

4. "And this is my German Shepherd, Ralph. I know you'll just love Ralph."

5. "Heh heh heh. You didn't tell anybody else you were coming here, did you?"

6. "Now, where DID I put that extra attachment for the chainsaw?"

7. "Uh oh. If this is the tube of Superglue, where's the KY?"

8. "Did I ever mention that little fantasy I have about tennis balls?"

9. "No, really. Trust me. I saw this work in a movie once."

10. "You like my straitjacket? Cool; I'm glad they let me keep it."

11. "Oh mighty Azathoth, accept this sacrifice I offer to You...."

12. "I'm not crazy. Yes I am. Shut up, all of you."

13. "I always keep the speculum in the freezer. It's more fun that way."

14. "Don't worry if your hands go numb. You won't be needing those."

15. "Bye. I'm taking off for the weekend. Isn't suspension bondage fun?"

16. "Zzzzzzzz" snore

17. "Mum? A little help here?"

18. "Do you know all the various uses of bleach?"

19. "What did I do with the scissors....didn't you want a haircut?"

20. "So, this time I'll wear the blindfold" as they pick up various implement.

21. "Now that I have your attention...wanna see my taser collection?"

22. "Oh, good. The branding iron is finally hot enough!"

23. "Wait, what were your limits again?"

24. "I need to sit down...I think it's my heart!"

25. "I'm sure the right keys are around here somewhere..."

26. Doorbell "Oh that's right! I was supposed to show the house to the realtor...Don't mind do you?"

27. "Do you smell that? Is that smoke? I'll be right back."

28. "Well, that wasn't supposed to happen...

29. "Are jumper cables 110 or 220 volt?"

30. "Don't worry, I'll make this fit..."

31. "Ingredients - sub; check! Carrots- Check!"

32. "No, really. I saw this in a movie once. Trust me."

33. "I did this once with my Secondlife avatar...It should work."

34. "Shhh...you'll wake my parents!"

35. "Is the glue gun warmed up yet?"

36. "Now where did I put my tabasco....?"

37. "Remember that time you put glitter glue on my chair?" (glitterbutt's personal horror moment.)

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