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Old 08-16-2013, 08:20 AM   #1
Barefootsies
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:2cents Football Headed Back to Los Angeles

I guess it will tide over L.A. until they get another NFL team.

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So here's an unusual little story: KISS, the multimedia corporate product-spewing behemoth that used to be a rock band, has gone and bought its very own professional football team. In Los Angeles, no less. Sure, it's in the Arena League, but Angelenos can't be choosers these days.

All right, let's get all the jokes out of the way at once. Deep breath:

The team, set to start play next March in Detroit Rock City Los Angeles, will run a nontraditional offense: not the pistol, not the shotgun, the Love Gun. Players will be encouraged to rock and roll all night and party ev-uh-ree day. Following every touchdown, the team will go for a deuce. They'll keep the visitors' locker room hotter than hell. Team physician? Why, Dr. Love, of course.

The team will be dubbed ? no, this is not part of the joke ? the L.A. KISS. And their helmet designs are going to be amazing (and, no doubt, for sale everywhere at a reasonable price). As incentive, the band will play a private concert for season-ticket holders.

"As a fast-paced, high-action band, this partnership with the AFL was an obvious fit for us," Gene Simmons said in a statement. "With Arena Football, you are much closer to the action - sitting in the front row is like putting a folding chair on the hash mark of an NFL game ? and it?s one of the only sports where you can experience this level of intensity. Attending an LA KISS game in 2014 will be similar to a live KISS show, with thrilling, heart-pounding action."

"The whole idea of an alternative to what has perhaps become a corporate sport is very intriguing, and resonates with us," Paul Stanley added. "We've always tried to be a band that relates to everybody, and the AFL is built on that whole premise."

Want in? There's already a website: LA Kiss Football. Get in early!
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Enough Said.

"Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:50 AM   #2
Evil Chris
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Bad investment.
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Old 08-16-2013, 09:26 AM   #3
baggg
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Old 08-16-2013, 09:38 AM   #4
Vendzilla
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I'm a KISS fan, so I would go for the show
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Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants
think about that
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Old 08-18-2013, 10:21 AM   #5
srockhard
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LA needs NFL
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Old 08-18-2013, 10:46 AM   #6
candyflip
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I am a HUGE KISS fan. This is awesome on more than one level.
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Old 08-18-2013, 10:59 AM   #7
CDSmith
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LA needs NFL
I am still to this day floored that the Rams were allowed out of there. And, didn't the Raiders play out of LA for a time? They just don't seem to be able to sustain a team there for some reason. Perhaps it's because half of them are into gang shit and the other half are spending all their money on $3000 clutch purses on Rhodeo Drive instead of thinking about football?

It's baffling. The second largest city in the US should have a team, no excuse for it.
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Old 08-18-2013, 11:01 AM   #8
brassmonkey
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its not fucking football you worry about those lions
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Old 08-18-2013, 11:45 AM   #9
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Mkkkkkkkkkkkk......
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Old 08-18-2013, 01:17 PM   #10
Captain Kawaii
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i'd rather watch the girls of the lingerie league. tighter ends.
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Old 08-18-2013, 01:22 PM   #11
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We get it, you're a fucking Eurofag. Now shut the fuck up with the bullshit "handegg" beating horse routine.
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Old 08-18-2013, 01:25 PM   #12
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girls play soccer
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Old 08-18-2013, 02:07 PM   #13
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US has soccer now too except nobody really pays attention...when do they play? Who are the stars? What kind of historical records will soccer be breaking this season? Go Timbers!
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Old 08-18-2013, 02:29 PM   #14
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Interesting.
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