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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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Who wants a free GFY t-shirt?
The other week I won a t-shirt for the best business thread. I already got some and I figure someone else needs it more than I do. I've already talked to Sly about it and he siad it's fine if I wanna give it away to someone else.
So here is how you can win it: post a joke in this thread and the one whose joke I find the funniest gets it. One joke per post, if you post more than one only your first one will count as an entry. But by all means, please post lots of them, everyone enjoys a good laugh. The funniest joke posted before Sunday 23.59 EST gets the t-shirt. Let's start LOL-ing! ![]()
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Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#2 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,440
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#3 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 87
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Worlds Oldest Profession
One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and for occupation she put whoring. The tax collector explained that whoring was an illegal occupation. She said she'd have to go home and think about it and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation. An hour later she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer." He said, "How do you get chicken farmer out of whoring." She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year." |
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#4 |
Supermodel
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Sodoma & Gomorra
Posts: 22,844
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gofuckyourself.com "where the industry meets"
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SMC Revenue - Best Tgirl websites of the world now VR ![]() Non exclusive BIG Tranny/shemale Package for sale, full 2257 - hit me up skype: nikkimontero ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Clemente
Posts: 584
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Whats Forrest Gump's password?
1Forrest1
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Kira Basciano - Sales Associate Email: [email protected] Skype: kirakittykatt ICQ: sucks |
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#6 |
cuck
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 11,571
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#7 |
Too lazy to set a koala
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: CZ/EU forever!
Posts: 16,139
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i dont get it ... ?
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#8 |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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__________________
Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#9 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,238
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Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. |
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#10 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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#11 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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#12 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Clemente
Posts: 584
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You can keep your tshirt if I can have your votes in round 2 for me as newb of the year
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Kira Basciano - Sales Associate Email: [email protected] Skype: kirakittykatt ICQ: sucks |
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#13 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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How do you fit four gay guys on a barstool? LOL
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#14 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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#15 |
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: San Diego
Posts: 32,175
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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down, and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
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#16 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,238
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flip it over? unless it's a 3 legged bar stool ....
__________________
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. |
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#17 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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#18 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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#19 |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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Some really good ones!
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Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#20 |
They left the door open
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,450
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Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station.
The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife. No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her. "I couldn't do that," he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!" "Listen, sugar," she whispered back, "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake hime up now." "I can't believe that," Charlie said. "Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up won't he? "Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his asshole and see if that wakes him." Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and fucked her. When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband's asshole hairs. The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: "Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!" |
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#21 | |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Clemente
Posts: 584
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Quote:
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Kira Basciano - Sales Associate Email: [email protected] Skype: kirakittykatt ICQ: sucks |
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#22 |
Pay It Forward
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Yo Mama House
Posts: 76,945
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no money??
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TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - Support The Laken Riley Act!!! END DACA - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com |
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#23 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 18,638
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Baddog started an SEO host and a PR company
If this is the winning joke, please give it the shirt to woj or shemp <3
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I like turtles. |
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#24 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 217
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Mickey Mouse was talking to his lawyer about getting a divorce from Minnie Mouse.
Eventually the lawyer asks, "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. You want to divorce Minnie because... she is very silly?" "No!" says Mickey, "I said because she's fucking Goofy!" |
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#25 |
Dutch Webmaster!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 3,230
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.
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#26 |
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: N.Y. -Long Island --
Posts: 122,992
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#27 |
All Your Design Needs
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![]() Website Design - Consulting - Development sarah [at] zuzanadesigns.com - See Our Work Need a SFW landing page or tour for age verification? |
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#28 |
So Fucking What?
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 22,251
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#29 | |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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Quote:
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Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#30 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 34
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the cowboy had a horse... and the horse had nothing against it
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#31 |
www.EngineFood.com
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,698
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Offergrind
Did I win? ;) |
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#32 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 7,683
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A 65-year old mailman decided it was time to retire. When the small
commmunity he worked for found out, they decided they should do something nice for him, since he'd served them for the past 45 years. So, the last day on the job, the mailman went up to the first house, and the homeowner welcomed him in. They gave him a pile of presents to thank him for all his hard work. At the next house they gave him a cheque for 100 dollars, and the 3rd house, a cheque for 200 dollars. At the fourth house, a blonde lady answered. She was wearing silk pajamas, and was motioning him to follow her upstairs. the mailman had the best sex of his entire life, and when they were done, he went downstairs. On the table was a huge breakfast, with waffles, eggs, pancakes, the whole deal, and a cup of coffee with a 5 dollar bill underneath. The mailman was curious, so he said to the lady, "I've had the best day of my entire life, everyone has been so nice to me, but I have to ask, what's the 5 dollar bill for?" The lady replied, "I asked my husband what we should do for you and he said 'fuck him, give him five bucks', but breakfast was my idea."
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SSD Cloud Server, VPS Server, Simple Cloud Hosting | DigitalOcean
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#33 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 7,683
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A man with a mask on walks into a bank and goes to the desk.
He pulls out a gun and points it at the lady at the desk. He says,'Open the vault skank'. The woman says, 'Sir, this is a sperm bank. We dont have any money here'. The man says, 'Open the vault right now or im going to blow your fucking head off'. She opens the vault and turns back to the man and he said, 'Take out one of those jars'. The woman said, 'please sir, i promise you we dont have any money here. This is a sperm bank'. The man said, 'Take out one of those jars right now or ill blow your fucking head off'. The women turns, grabs the jar and looks back to the man and he said, 'Take lid off and swallow it'. She looks at him in disgust and pleads to him saying, 'Sir, this is sperm. Please, im not drinking sperm. We dont have any money here. Please leave'. The man says, 'Take the lid off and drink it or ill blow your fucking head off'. So the womans takes off the lid and kicks it back real quick and swallows it with little to no problem then turns to look back at the man and to her amazment he took off the mask and it was her husband. He looked at her and said, 'See! It's not that fucking dificult is it'.
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#34 | |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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They've been awfully quiet lately. Not fun when they're not blowing their fuses on here. I'm starting to miss them, they were quite entertaining.
Quote:
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Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#35 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 331
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Why is an elephants sexual organs in their feet?
Because if they step on you you're fucked! |
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#36 |
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 6,748
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#37 | |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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Quote:
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Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#38 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 6
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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!
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#39 |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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Keep them coming people!
__________________
Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#40 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: 567721649
Posts: 12,157
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that made me a tickle
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#41 | |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 7,683
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Quote:
thats nice move, but system is flawed, check comments , its up for me Download music, movies, games, software! The Pirate Bay - The galaxy's most resilient BitTorrent site
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#42 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 4
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A priest books a hotel room and stops by the reception to ask if the porn on the tv is disabled, so the receptionist calls him a sick fuck.
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#43 | |
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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Quote:
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Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#44 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 36
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A blind man walks into a bar. and a table. and a chair.
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#45 |
PsyHead
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hungary
Posts: 8,664
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What about this: Hungary plans to do drug tests on all students between the age of 12-18, plus all journalists and politicians, annually. Oh wait - this is not a joke.
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#46 |
Living the Dream
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Murica
Posts: 2,376
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I was fucking gutted when my vasectomy failed.
I had NO intentions of being a father again. Imagine my surprise when my son was born and found that a failed vasectomy also causes the kid to be black..
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#47 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 32
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Jokes are overratedm you can just go and read the newspaper and see how they are stealing us while the chicken crosses the road
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#48 |
Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 31
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Everything is overrated!
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#49 | ||
Marketing & Strategy
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Former nomad
Posts: 14,293
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__________________
Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!
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#50 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 418
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free is always good, is it?
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