HELP! I need a cover website FAST. Family is visiting and they want to see what I do - GoFuckYourself.com

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:14 PM

I'm so fucked. My family is visiting me and my sister is out of work. They want to see what I do tonight. I told them I do web design and work on an intranet for a company. Making shit up as I go.

Is there any mainstream website where I can log into to make it look like I work there?
I'll pay any fee to join anything so it can look like I work on it.

My family isn't technical but I want to show something believable.
I'm so fucked help!!!

Sly · 04-08-2015, 12:15 PM

Tell them you mostly do consulting and are not allowed to share with others final product.

j3rkules · 04-08-2015, 12:16 PM

How old are you?

dyna mo · 04-08-2015, 12:18 PM

how long have you known about this visit? you're waiting until just hours before they arrive to ask gfyers.

don't get me wrong, i love this thread already.

aka123 · 04-08-2015, 12:23 PM

Show your porn site and say that you designed it for your customer. Or some of those.

Or why to show anything; just tell what you do. "Blaadi blaa.. good interface, user friendly, conversion.. blaa..blaa. Just don't tell that it is user friendly porn site with good interface.

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:24 PM

Lol I'm 32. My main site is a gay hookup site with dicks and cumshots everywhere lol
Doesn't really matter how old I am I don't want family seeing it.

They never asked too SEE it in the past so was always able to give a blowoff answer but now they want to SEE it. Just sprang it on me

Ilol pay anything to join anything as a front to show them something believable

420 · 04-08-2015, 12:24 PM

lol

.

candyflip · 04-08-2015, 12:25 PM

You're on Online Project Manager

https://basecamp.com/

aka123 · 04-08-2015, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clay

Lol I'm 32. My main site is a gay hookup site with dicks and cumshots everywhere lol
Doesn't really matter how old I am I don't want family seeing it.

They never asked too SEE it in the past so was always able to give a blowoff answer but now they want to SEE it. Just sprang it on me

Ilol pay anything to join anything as a front to show them something believable

Do you need cover-up girlfriend too?

LOL

PAR · 04-08-2015, 12:27 PM

Go to random mainstream website download a copy of the site, toss it into a few tools that you use and call it your current project... Or just tell them you work in adult...

sonofsam · 04-08-2015, 12:27 PM

Copy a site

Change the information and add yourself as director on the "about us" page

Host it on your own server

buy a domain for it

when they leave, take it down

L-Pink · 04-08-2015, 12:32 PM

Put some Sudafed, battery acid, drain cleaner, lantern fuel and antifreeze on the corner of your kitchen counter.

When questioned just laugh and say "Kidding, I make gay porn" They'll pat you on the back and take you out to dinner.

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly

Tell them you mostly do consulting and are not allowed to share with others final product.

That's a good one. I can tell them I'm a contractor for my main client an energy company and not allowed to show it because the company will see I logged in when I was supposed to be away and didn't do any work and question me.
Good one thanks

And I have some small shit ones mainstream personals I can show as small stuff

MrGusMuller · 04-08-2015, 12:36 PM

Quote:

My main site is a gay hookup site with dicks and cumshots everywhere lol

Whats the problem with it?

gay hookup site?
cumshots (without females)?
you might be gay and they don't know?
Anything else...

I don't have anything in english...
Say that u own a hosting company lolz and give them some url/page to see... dunno

Slappin Fish · 04-08-2015, 12:39 PM

Just open some html/php files inside Notepad++, six or seven tabs, then say you are working on that intranet.

It will look impossibly complicated to them.

Take the files from something like the latest wordpress

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrGusMuller

Whats the problem with it?

gay hookup site?
cumshots (without females)?
you might be gay and they don't know?
Anything else...

I don't have anything in english...
Say that u own a hosting company lolz and give them some url/page to see... dunno

No they know im gay I dont care, they met my boyfriend and I live in the gay hood. I just do t want then to know I work in porn

L-Pink · 04-08-2015, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slappin Fish

Just open some html/php files inside Notepad++, six or seven tabs then say you are working on that intranet. It will look impossibly complicated to them. You can take the files from something like the latest wordpress

There you go perfect, plus it will look impossible for your unemployed sister to hint at help getting her a job.

Juicy D. Links · 04-08-2015, 12:42 PM

hwhehehhehe

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slappin Fish

Just open some html/php files inside Notepad++, six or seven tabs, then say you are working on that intranet.

It will look impossibly complicated to them.

Take the files from something like the latest wordpress

Yup exactly what I'm planning to do thank you
But I was hoping to have something I could show of the front end but this'll have to do

MrGusMuller · 04-08-2015, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clay

No they know im gay I dont care, they met my boyfriend and I live in the gay hood. I just do t want then to know I work in porn

Can't help you out

I can lunch a vps at DigitalOcean give u access to it...
u can put some shits running on the screen and u say that u manage a server for some company ....

when they start to ask to may questions can say to them "are we here to have fun or talk about work? i'm no drug or arm dealer!"

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candyflip

You're on Online Project Manager

https://basecamp.com/

Fucking brilliant thank you

Acepimp · 04-08-2015, 12:49 PM

I have some tech review blogs that I basically abandoned. I could set a a wordpress user account for you. maybe post a few new product reviews?

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:51 PM

[QUOTE=MrGusMuller;20442868]

Can't help you out

I can give u access to a server...
u can put some shits running on the screen and u say that u manage a server for some company ....

/QUOTE]

Lollz that's exactly what I want. Just confuse the shit out of them and Theyll never ask again.

Is there a free c++ or vb compiler and vb program I can download to show that? And I can be looking like "look I'm adding a button to this interface. Or something

sandman! · 04-08-2015, 12:51 PM

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acepimp

I have some tech review blogs that I basically abandoned. I could set a a wordpress user account for you. maybe post a few new product reviews?

Yes! Perfect. I'm good witheordpress how do i contact you? I'll paupalyou for this. And only use it for 5 minutes. I won't touch anything just show them to confuse them

Grrr on my phone and keeps autocorrecting

mikesouth · 04-08-2015, 12:53 PM

post a photo of your sister I might have work for her

Clay · 04-08-2015, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandman!

I know right FML

Acepimp · 04-08-2015, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clay

Yes! Perfect. I'm good witheordpress how do i contact you? I'll paupalyou for this. And only use it for 5 minutes. I won't touch anything just show them to confuse them

Grrr on my phone and keeps autocorrecting

shoot me an email
[email protected]

Clay · 04-08-2015, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acepimp

shoot me an email
[email protected]

Sent. You rock. I'll PayPal you after

C H R I S · 04-08-2015, 01:56 PM

Just show them Facebook - tell them you'll be sitting pretty when you cash in your options.

CaptainHowdy · 04-08-2015, 01:58 PM

I showed them GFY and now they think I work on a funky online newspaper ...

brassmonkey · 04-08-2015, 01:59 PM

you a grown ass man

Gomer Pyle account hacked

AMDWarrior · 04-08-2015, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clay

No they know im gay I dont care, they met my boyfriend and I live in the gay hood. I just do t want then to know I work in porn

Pretty sad when you have to lie to your family.. be a fucking man.

Robin · 04-08-2015, 02:12 PM

Told and showed my parents what I do for a living once. They never asked me after how's work or what's new with my job. One time was enough :D.

ManPuppy · 04-08-2015, 02:16 PM

You do understand that they're asking to see your work either because they already suspect what you really do or someone told them, right? Just tell the truth. "Look, I haven't already sent you the link to my website because it's a gay dating site, and people post adult images of themselves on it. Although it's really popular in the community and provides a nice income for me, I figured it would make you uncomfortable to browse through." You'll feel so much better if you're honest.

blackmonsters · 04-08-2015, 02:19 PM

just install ubuntu on your PC and open the terminal and run command line bullshit
and tell then you are setting up a web server for a client.

Run "sudo apt-get update" and then "sudo apt-get upgrade"
that will blow them away.

if that's not enough then just keep doing "yum installs" that are already installed.

cool1g · 04-08-2015, 02:21 PM

just download some free wordpress themes and have them open for editing

dyna mo · 04-08-2015, 02:28 PM

i had a feeling this thread would be chocked full of much killarity!

epitome · 04-08-2015, 02:34 PM

Download a trial copy of Sublime Text and fill a few tabs with a ton of code (grab off pastebin). Maximize it and leave it on your screen. When asked, start explaining the code to them. Make shit up as you go along. They'll lose interest within 15 seconds.

If they still ask what it looks like on a computer, make them feel dumb by saying "it is the code that runs the backend, there is nothing to 'see.'" Be sure to mock them. They'll feel really dumb and give up.

Make it sound complicated and make them feel dumb.

Clay · 04-08-2015, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AMDWarrior

Pretty sad when you have to lie to your family.. be a fucking man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesouth

post a photo of your sister I might have work for her

Mikesouths comment is the reason why i dont want my family to know I work in porn, cuz of the jaded industry people who say shit like that.

mikesouth · 04-08-2015, 03:29 PM

I said it because yer a fucking pussy...we have enough apologists in this fucking business...grow some fucking balls and man up or get the fuck out...

Clay · 04-08-2015, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epitome

Download a trial copy of Sublime Text and fill a few tabs with a ton of code (grab off pastebin). Maximize it and leave it on your screen. When asked, start explaining the code to them. Make shit up as you go along. They'll lose interest within 15 seconds.

If they still ask what it looks like on a computer, make them feel dumb by saying "it is the code that runs the backend, there is nothing to 'see.'" Be sure to mock them. They'll feel really dumb and give up.

Make it sound complicated and make them feel dumb.

Done. fucking brilliant. I just downloaded it and put in a ton of c++ code that looks so confusing lol. theyre coming back in 45 minutes and i have this and the other persons blog backend loaded up.
killer idea. exactly what i needed thank you

Clay · 04-08-2015, 03:39 PM

nevermind. dumb

Nicky · 04-08-2015, 03:48 PM

Well this thread delivers

Diomed · 04-08-2015, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrGusMuller

Can't help you out

I can lunch a vps at DigitalOcean give u access to it...
u can put some shits running on the screen and u say that u manage a server for some company ....

when they start to ask to may questions can say to them "are we here to have fun or talk about work? i'm no drug or arm dealer!"

Is that the crooked teeth hot euro bitch in your sig?

MiamiBoyz · 04-08-2015, 03:52 PM

Tell them that you work for

Official Church of Satan Website | churchofsatan.com

Once they see that I am sure they will STFU!

arock10 · 04-08-2015, 03:54 PM

I mumbled something about landing pages to the last person who asked me what I did and now they think I do something involving flying planes

American Psycho · 04-08-2015, 03:55 PM

What a degenerate Sinner
gay! porn! Hookup websites!

Go to church. 10x our fathers

spooks69 · 04-20-2015, 06:30 PM

Clay, As someone who has to regularly make up the same type of cover story...I applaud you. how'd it go?

For future reference, I usually babble nonsense about Wordpress Backends, and Non-disclosure agreements....

My mom asked me once where I got started..I sent her to elance.com she never asked again!

Due · 04-20-2015, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackmonsters

just install ubuntu on your PC and open the terminal and run command line bullshit
and tell then you are setting up a web server for a client.

Run "sudo apt-get update" and then "sudo apt-get upgrade"
that will blow them away.

if that's not enough then just keep doing "yum installs" that are already installed.

Hookup your TV as the output screen( preferred via wifi ), do the above and tell them you work on some TV streaming technology

04-08-2015, 12:14 PM	#1
Clay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 735	HELP! I need a cover website FAST. Family is visiting and they want to see what I do I'm so fucked. My family is visiting me and my sister is out of work. They want to see what I do tonight. I told them I do web design and work on an intranet for a company. Making shit up as I go. Is there any mainstream website where I can log into to make it look like I work there? I'll pay any fee to join anything so it can look like I work on it. My family isn't technical but I want to show something believable. I'm so fucked help!!!

04-08-2015, 12:15 PM	#2
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,291	Tell them you mostly do consulting and are not allowed to share with others final product. __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available. Wanted: CCBill pay sites for sale

04-08-2015, 12:16 PM	#3
j3rkules VIP Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 22,112	How old are you? __________________ How To Build A Porn Site And Make Money \| My Best $$$ Cam Sponsor \| New Webcam Script 3 Top Adult Hosting Providers

04-08-2015, 12:23 PM	#5
aka123 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: 64 00 N, 26 00 E Posts: 4,450	Show your porn site and say that you designed it for your customer. Or some of those. Or why to show anything; just tell what you do. "Blaadi blaa.. good interface, user friendly, conversion.. blaa..blaa. Just don't tell that it is user friendly porn site with good interface. __________________

04-08-2015, 12:25 PM	#8
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,052	You're on Online Project Manager https://basecamp.com/ __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

04-08-2015, 12:18 PM	#4
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 63,937	how long have you known about this visit? you're waiting until just hours before they arrive to ask gfyers. don't get me wrong, i love this thread already.

04-08-2015, 12:24 PM	#6
Clay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 735	Lol I'm 32. My main site is a gay hookup site with dicks and cumshots everywhere lol Doesn't really matter how old I am I don't want family seeing it. They never asked too SEE it in the past so was always able to give a blowoff answer but now they want to SEE it. Just sprang it on me Ilol pay anything to join anything as a front to show them something believable

04-08-2015, 12:24 PM	#7
420 cuck Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,571	lol .

04-08-2015, 12:27 PM	#10
PAR Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,836	Go to random mainstream website download a copy of the site, toss it into a few tools that you use and call it your current project... Or just tell them you work in adult...

04-08-2015, 12:27 PM	#11
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,638	Copy a site Change the information and add yourself as director on the "about us" page Host it on your own server buy a domain for it when they leave, take it down __________________ I like turtles.

04-08-2015, 12:32 PM	#12
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	Put some Sudafed, battery acid, drain cleaner, lantern fuel and antifreeze on the corner of your kitchen counter. When questioned just laugh and say "Kidding, I make gay porn" They'll pat you on the back and take you out to dinner.

04-08-2015, 12:39 PM	#15
Slappin Fish Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Thailand Posts: 2,512	Just open some html/php files inside Notepad++, six or seven tabs, then say you are working on that intranet. It will look impossibly complicated to them. Take the files from something like the latest wordpress

04-08-2015, 12:42 PM	#18
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	hwhehehhehe

04-08-2015, 12:49 PM	#22
Acepimp All Facts Matter Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: East Coast Posts: 19,074	I have some tech review blogs that I basically abandoned. I could set a a wordpress user account for you. maybe post a few new product reviews?

04-08-2015, 12:51 PM	#23
Clay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 735	[QUOTE=MrGusMuller;20442868] Can't help you out I can give u access to a server... u can put some shits running on the screen and u say that u manage a server for some company .... /QUOTE] Lollz that's exactly what I want. Just confuse the shit out of them and Theyll never ask again. Is there a free c++ or vb compiler and vb program I can download to show that? And I can be looking like "look I'm adding a button to this interface. Or something

04-08-2015, 12:51 PM	#24
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	__________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

04-08-2015, 12:53 PM	#26
mikesouth Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: My High Horse Posts: 6,346	post a photo of your sister I might have work for her __________________ Mike South It's No wonder I took up drugs and alcohol, it's the only way I could dumb myself down enough to cope with the morons in this biz.

04-08-2015, 01:56 PM	#30
C H R I S Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Marina Del Rey Posts: 10,845	Just show them Facebook - tell them you'll be sitting pretty when you cash in your options. __________________ C H R I S Retired Porn Veteran BH4L

04-08-2015, 01:58 PM	#31
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,049	I showed them GFY and now they think I work on a funky online newspaper ... __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

04-08-2015, 01:59 PM	#32
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 76,979	you a grown ass man Gomer Pyle account hacked __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

04-08-2015, 02:12 PM	#34
Robin Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: Budapest Posts: 261	Told and showed my parents what I do for a living once. They never asked me after how's work or what's new with my job. One time was enough :D. __________________ Ovidiu aka Robin Business Development Manager www.affiliates.auroraglobal.com Skype: irip77

04-08-2015, 02:16 PM	#35
ManPuppy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Tampa Bay, Florida, USA Posts: 407	You do understand that they're asking to see your work either because they already suspect what you really do or someone told them, right? Just tell the truth. "Look, I haven't already sent you the link to my website because it's a gay dating site, and people post adult images of themselves on it. Although it's really popular in the community and provides a nice income for me, I figured it would make you uncomfortable to browse through." You'll feel so much better if you're honest. __________________ Manpuppy.com - Gay Dad & Son and Light Fetish Affiliates: http://www.manpuppy.com/affiliates

04-08-2015, 02:19 PM	#36
blackmonsters Making PHP work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: 🌎🌅🌈🌇 Posts: 20,231	just install ubuntu on your PC and open the terminal and run command line bullshit and tell then you are setting up a web server for a client. Run "sudo apt-get update" and then "sudo apt-get upgrade" that will blow them away. if that's not enough then just keep doing "yum installs" that are already installed. __________________ Make Money with Porn

04-08-2015, 02:21 PM	#37
cool1g Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Hollyweird adjacent Posts: 977	just download some free wordpress themes and have them open for editing __________________ InterG Media affiliate network (dating, pay per call) EDM Life Affiliates Cash In

04-08-2015, 02:28 PM	#38
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 63,937	i had a feeling this thread would be chocked full of much killarity!

04-08-2015, 02:34 PM	#39
epitome So Fucking Lame Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Posts: 12,158	Download a trial copy of Sublime Text and fill a few tabs with a ton of code (grab off pastebin). Maximize it and leave it on your screen. When asked, start explaining the code to them. Make shit up as you go along. They'll lose interest within 15 seconds. If they still ask what it looks like on a computer, make them feel dumb by saying "it is the code that runs the backend, there is nothing to 'see.'" Be sure to mock them. They'll feel really dumb and give up. Make it sound complicated and make them feel dumb.

04-08-2015, 03:29 PM	#41
mikesouth Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: My High Horse Posts: 6,346	I said it because yer a fucking pussy...we have enough apologists in this fucking business...grow some fucking balls and man up or get the fuck out... __________________ Mike South It's No wonder I took up drugs and alcohol, it's the only way I could dumb myself down enough to cope with the morons in this biz.

04-08-2015, 03:39 PM	#43
Clay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 735	nevermind. dumb

04-08-2015, 03:48 PM	#44
Nicky Judge Jury and Executioner Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,069	Well this thread delivers __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

04-08-2015, 03:52 PM	#46
MiamiBoyz fgfdftre6 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: In the closet with your dad! Posts: 6,690	Tell them that you work for Official Church of Satan Website \| churchofsatan.com Once they see that I am sure they will STFU!

04-08-2015, 03:54 PM	#47
arock10 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 6,218	I mumbled something about landing pages to the last person who asked me what I did and now they think I do something involving flying planes __________________ Sup

04-08-2015, 03:55 PM	#48
American Psycho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 3,068	What a degenerate Sinner gay! porn! Hookup websites! Go to church. 10x our fathers

04-20-2015, 06:30 PM	#49
spooks69 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 109	Clay, As someone who has to regularly make up the same type of cover story...I applaud you. how'd it go? For future reference, I usually babble nonsense about Wordpress Backends, and Non-disclosure agreements.... My mom asked me once where I got started..I sent her to elance.com she never asked again! __________________ www.camgirlbank.com Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison