BREAKING: Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife - GoFuckYourself.com

Paul&John · 05-26-2015, 04:19 AM

Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns

A Turkish televangelist has warned male Muslims away from masturbation - because it may leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

Mücahid Cihad Han supposedly made the claim in response to a call from a man who "kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah", a pilgrimage similar to the Hajj.

Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns

:D

weewilly · 05-26-2015, 05:28 AM

I am so screwed

CaptainHowdy · 05-26-2015, 05:34 AM

Why masturbate when you can have a least four wives in Islam??

jimmycooper · 05-26-2015, 05:35 AM

Will the hand ever give birth or will it just remain infinitely pregnant?

CDSmith · 05-26-2015, 05:38 AM

Being that I'm ambidexterous I'm really screwed.

(twins!!?)

Markul · 05-26-2015, 06:36 AM

Yes. It's true. I will have a hundred thousand hand babies in the afterlife. Rejoice!

Spunky · 05-26-2015, 06:44 AM

I think buddy needs some sex education classes

2MuchMark · 05-26-2015, 06:53 AM

Shit that means you have to push your babies out from under your fingernails. Do they make morning-after pills to prevent hand-preggers? And if I live in Alabama, where do I go to get hand-abortions? Planned Hand Parenthood? Is my hand considered my sister? (Is my other hand my brother?)

EddyTheDog · 05-26-2015, 06:56 AM

I wonder if that means I can get a FleshLight pregnant?..

bronco67 · 05-26-2015, 07:41 AM

Do they have coat hangers in the afterlife? Problem solved.

Grapesoda · 05-26-2015, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

Why masturbate when you can have a least four wives in Islam??

you prefer masturbation or earplugs?

AllAboutCams · 05-26-2015, 07:49 AM

Do feet count as well?

freecartoonporn · 05-26-2015, 07:53 AM

what if i get hand-job from girl?
does her hand gets pregnant or she gets pregnant .
damn i am confused.

CaptainHowdy · 05-26-2015, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grapesoda

you prefer masturbation or earplugs?

...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qur'an

As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next,) refuse to share their beds, (and last,) beat them (lightly, if it is useful). But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.

_Richard_ · 05-26-2015, 08:10 AM

maybe no one ever told him how babies were made

Grapesoda · 05-26-2015, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul&John

Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns

A Turkish televangelist has warned male Muslims away from masturbation - because it may leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

Mücahid Cihad Han supposedly made the claim in response to a call from a man who "kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah", a pilgrimage similar to the Hajj.

Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns

:D

now this is the kind of critical thinking that I want laying out the rules and laws in my life

SykkBoy · 05-26-2015, 10:56 AM

I guess I';m going to have to push my hand down a flight of stairs in the afterlife...

L-Pink · 05-26-2015, 11:16 AM

Just get caught stealing, hand aborted, problem solved.

sandman! · 05-26-2015, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Just get caught stealing, hand aborted, problem solved.

brassmonkey · 05-26-2015, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Just get caught stealing, hand aborted, problem solved.

it moved to your forehead

2MuchMark · 05-26-2015, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllAboutCams

Haha that's awesome.

Ribbet Hog · 05-26-2015, 01:40 PM

The best thing my hand could ever do I say...

Best-In-BC · 05-26-2015, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weewilly

I am so screwed

Dittoo

MiamiBoyz · 05-26-2015, 02:50 PM

The lord works in mysterious ways...

JA$ON · 05-26-2015, 03:04 PM

Socks · 05-26-2015, 03:32 PM

I'm gonna make a mess when I get to heaven then...

05-26-2015, 04:19 AM	#1
Paul&John Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: YUROP Posts: 8,595	BREAKING: Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns A Turkish televangelist has warned male Muslims away from masturbation - because it may leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife. Mücahid Cihad Han supposedly made the claim in response to a call from a man who "kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah", a pilgrimage similar to the Hajj. Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns :D __________________ Use coupon 'pauljohn' for a $1 discount at already super cheap NameSilo! Anal Webcams \| Kinky Trans Cams Live \| Hotwife XXX Tube \| Get your Proxies here

05-26-2015, 05:34 AM	#3
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 92,990	Why masturbate when you can have a least four wives in Islam?? __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

05-26-2015, 05:35 AM	#4
jimmycooper Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2010 Location: Manhattan Posts: 4,016	Will the hand ever give birth or will it just remain infinitely pregnant? __________________

05-26-2015, 05:38 AM	#5
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Being that I'm ambidexterous I'm really screwed. (twins!!?) __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

05-26-2015, 06:44 AM	#7
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,919	I think buddy needs some sex education classes __________________ *Skype : Spunky GFY*

05-26-2015, 05:28 AM	#2
weewilly Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Oregon Posts: 190	I am so screwed

05-26-2015, 06:36 AM	#6
Markul Likes Pie Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The land that liberated porn Posts: 12,402	Yes. It's true. I will have a hundred thousand hand babies in the afterlife. Rejoice!

05-26-2015, 06:53 AM	#8
2MuchMark Videochat Solutions Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 48,535	Shit that means you have to push your babies out from under your fingernails. Do they make morning-after pills to prevent hand-preggers? And if I live in Alabama, where do I go to get hand-abortions? Planned Hand Parenthood? Is my hand considered my sister? (Is my other hand my brother?) __________________ VideoChat Solutions \| Custom Software \| IT Support https://www.2much.net \| https://www.lcntech.com

05-26-2015, 06:56 AM	#9
EddyTheDog Just Doing My Own Thing Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: London, Spain, New Zealand, GFY - Not Croydon... Posts: 25,037	I wonder if that means I can get a FleshLight pregnant?..

05-26-2015, 07:41 AM	#10
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,035	Do they have coat hangers in the afterlife? Problem solved. __________________

05-26-2015, 07:49 AM	#12
AllAboutCams Femcams.com Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: bjcam.com Posts: 12,220	Do feet count as well? __________________ Binance - Blockchain and Crypto Asset Exchange Chaturbate make money in cams

05-26-2015, 07:53 AM	#13
freecartoonporn Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: NC Posts: 7,683	what if i get hand-job from girl? does her hand gets pregnant or she gets pregnant . damn i am confused. __________________ SSD Cloud Server, VPS Server, Simple Cloud Hosting \| DigitalOcean

05-26-2015, 08:10 AM	#15
_Richard_ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver Posts: 30,986	maybe no one ever told him how babies were made

05-26-2015, 10:56 AM	#17
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	I guess I';m going to have to push my hand down a flight of stairs in the afterlife... __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

05-26-2015, 11:16 AM	#18
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	Just get caught stealing, hand aborted, problem solved.

05-26-2015, 01:40 PM	#22
Ribbet Hog Access. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Tac Town. Posts: 1,162	The best thing my hand could ever do I say...

05-26-2015, 02:50 PM	#24
MiamiBoyz fgfdftre6 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: In the closet with your dad! Posts: 6,690	The lord works in mysterious ways...

05-26-2015, 03:04 PM	#25
JA$ON Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: I'm from Downtown....Im from Mitch & Murry Posts: 1,329

05-26-2015, 03:32 PM	#26
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,478	I'm gonna make a mess when I get to heaven then...