Do More Women Want To Work Or Stay At Home And Raise Kids?

[The Porn Nerd]

Living here in New York City the streets are filled with professional women of all ages and ethnicities running to their offices so they can work 10-12 hours a day. Throw in commuting and you can add an additional hour+ (sometimes each way) to their day. I look at their faces and in their eyes and they do not seem.....happy.

A recent example made me wonder: a woman I know who went to college, graduated tops in her class, got a 100K+ year job on Wall Street and lives in a swank upscale apartment just got married. Her husband makes about the same as her. She is selling her apartment, quitting her job, they are moving out to New Jersey and she will be...staying at home to raise the kids. "I'm done with working, commuting, wasting my life to make other people money," she says.

Now that feminism has made its point - hey, women can do (almost) anything a man can do! - do most women today want to work or would they prefer getting married, being "taken care of", raising the kids and letting hubby deal with the stress of a job? I say the latter.

[johnnyloadproductions]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Now that feminism has made its point - hey, women can do (almost) anything a man can do! - do most women today want to work or would they prefer getting married, being "taken care of", raising the kids and letting hubby deal with the stress of a job? I say the latter.

It's always good to get the woman in a position where she can't afford to leave the relationship.

What are your marriage goals? Are you going to start over with more kids or are you just going to find a partner?
Ideal situations are harder to come by as you get older (for me hanging out with teens ) but if you're smart and have finances it's all doable, which you have.

[VikingMan]

If you have a small child and are in a very cosmopolitan city like NYC all you have to do is take your kid along with you when you go to a downtown area and 30-ish women cannot help but stare at the cute kid. Their DNA is screaming "I want a kid" but the social engineering they have been subjected to all their lives says "kids will destroy your life". This is the age when women begin to understand they have been hoodwinked. I have had a few business cards handed to me after we talked and they realized I was not married.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a female wanting to be educated or even working in a high flying career but they should also be told that most of them will be devastated if they spend their fertile years opening their legs for every degenerate bad boy and then end up rushing to get married only to have so much trouble getting pregnant at 35 years of age. One of my sisters works in a prestigious law firm and is going nuts right now because she is trying to find meaning in life after turning 45 and realizing she is lonely. I get lots of cat pictures via text. In fact I know a few other females who text me pics of their cats.

So women SHOULD be educated and SHOULD have ambitions but this idea that kids are something that will ruin your life should be discouraged. Men are not affected as much by this idea because they can have kids as long as their sperm is good so even if you are 60 you can still impregnate females.

[ITraffic]

does anyone seem happy where you live? do men like slaving away the most vital years of their lives?

modern civilization and life is inhuman and shitty. our bodies and brains evolved for a life much different.

[ITraffic]

i live in a much smaller center than ny. the professional women i see seem smiling and happy. women that do the traditional housewife and kid things much more stressed and unhappy.

[ITraffic]

i think working professional women fantasize about being the housewife and mom. until they are actually trapped in that prison.

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by VikingMan

If you have a small child and are in a very cosmopolitan city like NYC all you have to do is take your kid along with you when you go to a downtown area and 30-ish women cannot help but stare at the cute kid. Their DNA is screaming "I want a kid" but the social engineering they have been subjected to all their lives says "kids will destroy your life". This is the age when women begin to understand they have been hoodwinked. I have had a few business cards handed to me after we talked and they realized I was not married.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a female wanting to be educated or even working in a high flying career but they should also be told that most of them will be devastated if they spend their fertile years opening their legs for every degenerate bad boy and then end up rushing to get married only to have so much trouble getting pregnant at 35 years of age. One of my sisters works in a prestigious law firm and is going nuts right now because she is trying to find meaning in life after turning 45 and realizing she is lonely. I get lots of cat pictures via text. In fact I know a few other females who text me pics of their cats.

So women SHOULD be educated and SHOULD have ambitions but this idea that kids are something that will ruin your life should be discouraged. Men are not affected as much by this idea because they can have kids as long as their sperm is good so even if you are 60 you can still impregnate females.

Excellent post.

Originally Posted by ITraffic

does anyone seem happy where you live? do men like slaving away the most vital years of their lives?

modern civilization and life is inhuman and shitty. our bodies and brains evolved for a life much different.

The men here are stressed too, of course, but seem to handle it better because they are going to war (business war) and therefore put their game faces on. LOL So yes, I'm sure part of it is New York compared to where you live. The grass is always greener, too.

[wehateporn]

Feminism was a trick to get women into work, most of them fell for it

[VikingMan]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Excellent post.

Thank you for recognizing my excellence. I WAS one of those degenerate bad boys for many years so I know what I am talking about. I banged a many women who were looking for something exciting. Even some single mothers who had a kid at home and a beta provider wondering if she was going to return his calls.

[wehateporn]

Most of the British women I know from my generation see a housewife as a failure, hence why I had to import from South America

[MakeMeGrrrrowl]

I am so so so so grateful I get to do both very comfortably.

Most of my friends would definitely choose to stay home if they could afford it.

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by MakeMeGrrrrowl

I am so so so so grateful I get to do both very comfortably.

Most of my friends would definitely choose to stay home if they could afford it.

Yes, the thread offers a limited choice I know. LOL I think the ideal would be what you have going on, which is to stay at home, have the family and work at something fulfilling (and profitable).

The only problem there? No escape. LOL My friend who works from home is dealing with that now, always having the kids around. Drives him nuts. :D

[MakeMeGrrrrowl]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Yes, the thread offers a limited choice I know. LOL I think the ideal would be what you have going on, which is to stay at home, have the family and work at something fulfilling (and profitable).

The only problem there? No escape. LOL My friend who works from home is dealing with that now, always having the kids around. Drives him nuts. :D

Work IS the escape!!!!!!

My dad is worse than the kid.

[johnnyloadproductions]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Yes, the thread offers a limited choice I know. LOL I think the ideal would be what you have going on, which is to stay at home, have the family and work at something fulfilling (and profitable).

The only problem there? No escape. LOL My friend who works from home is dealing with that now, always having the kids around. Drives him nuts. :D

A freelance developer here in town solved that problem by getting office space. Children prevented getting work done.

Office space is cheap here. In downtown there's a lot of empty space above stores and he gets an office of 3 rooms (500-600 sq ft) for about $200 a month.

The office is a 5-6 minute walk for him.

Problem solved.

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by johnnyloadproductions

A freelance developer here in town solved that problem by getting office space. Children prevented getting work done.

Office space is cheap here. In downtown there's a lot of empty space above stores and he gets an office of 3 rooms (500-600 sq ft) for about $200 a month.

The office is a 5-6 minute walk for him.

Problem solved.

Yeah that would be ideal! Too bad here in NYC it's like $20,000 a month. LOL

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[CaptainHowdy]

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

[clickity click]

Originally Posted by wehateporn

Most of the British women I know from my generation see a housewife as a failure, hence why I had to import from South America

Funny that. I imported from South Africa.

[Rochard]

The above example of the woman going to college, getting a great job, then getting married having a baby, moving to NJ, and leaving her job to raise a family... If you can do that, wouldn't you?

For some people, having a child changes everything. Why work if you don't have to and you can spend time raising your children?

Why work ten hours a day in the rat race to afford an expensive apartment in the city when you can get a big house in the suburbs for less and not work?

[clickity click]

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

Women will always be miserable ...

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

Not sure it's not quoting all but 8 identical posts in 8 minutes CH. No wonder your post count is so high.

[wehateporn]

Originally Posted by clickity click

Funny that. I imported from South Africa.

Lots of British guys seem to prefer foreign women

[ITraffic]

.........................................

[jimmycooper]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Living here in New York City the streets are filled with professional women of all ages and ethnicities running to their offices so they can work 10-12 hours a day. Throw in commuting and you can add an additional hour+ (sometimes each way) to their day. I look at their faces and in their eyes and they do not seem.....happy.

A recent example made me wonder: a woman I know who went to college, graduated tops in her class, got a 100K+ year job on Wall Street and lives in a swank upscale apartment just got married. Her husband makes about the same as her. She is selling her apartment, quitting her job, they are moving out to New Jersey and she will be...staying at home to raise the kids. "I'm done with working, commuting, wasting my life to make other people money," she says.

Now that feminism has made its point - hey, women can do (almost) anything a man can do! - do most women today want to work or would they prefer getting married, being "taken care of", raising the kids and letting hubby deal with the stress of a job? I say the latter.

It's pretty clear that a reason why the us labor participation rate is as low as it's been since 1977 is because the participation rate for women has fallen slightly after hitting a peak in the late 90s following sharp post-WWII growth. So yes I think there is something

Originally Posted by ITraffic

does anyone seem happy where you live? do men like slaving away the most vital years of their lives?

modern civilization and life is inhuman and shitty. our bodies and brains evolved for a life much different.

Ambitious people from all over the world come here because it's the best place in the world for them to pursue their ambitions.

The people who come here tend to come from places where they were considered to be amongst the brightest amongst their peers. Or for some other reason which causes them to feel as if they've outgrown their hometowns. They want more.

Then when they get here they then soon realize that things are a bit more competitive. The see more money the. A lot them can't handle it because all the money here and with the cost of living being as high as it is and all the competition, they drive themselves crazy until they get burnt out and can't take it anymore. Then they leave.

So basically unhappiness giveth and unhappiness taketh away. At least that's what I've seen.

I'm 39 now and dude I can't tell you how many 'going away' parties I've been to since moving here at 22. Seemed like there was one at least every month from the ages of 29-35. I had a pretty tight group of about 8 or so friends in my early to mid-20s and now I'm the only one left. It's kind of depressing. And I don't have a ton of money and am for sure not the best or brightest at anything, at least not yet, so it's kind of surprising that I've been able to exist here for so long without going completely crazy.

Yet while I'm not entirely happy here but there are things which I've become accustomed to that would not be at my disposal in a lesser city. Not just the arts and stuff like that but just the dynamic. The intangibles. Places like London and Paris are options but both come with logistical complications and are even more expensive. Asians tend to be funny looking and more often than not annoy the hell out of me so Asia is not a viable option. Well maybe Japan would be fine but only Tokyo and it seems like the process of moving there and logistics of it all would be a major pain in the ass. Montreal is nice but the winters are rough and it would probably bore me within a year. Everywhere else in the US would bore me to tears within 6 months.

There's really just nowhere else to go, but I know it could be a lot worse, so I make it work.

I forget what your question was but hopefully something I wrote was in some way useful or insightful.

Where are you by the way?

I just came across this company in Edmonton who seems doing world class data visualization work. Really interesting stuff.

[jimmycooper]

Originally Posted by Rochard

The above example of the woman going to college, getting a great job, then getting married having a baby, moving to NJ, and leaving her job to raise a family... If you can do that, wouldn't you?

For some people, having a child changes everything. Why work if you don't have to and you can spend time raising your children?

Why work ten hours a day in the rat race to afford an expensive apartment in the city when you can get a big house in the suburbs for less and not work?

Space is overrated, the suburbs are boring, and New Jersey smells.

And I have an expensive apartment in Manhattan and until lately had not worked 10 hour days for 2-3 years. I have been lately but it doesn't feel like it because I'm doing what I want. Certainly one of the last things I'd want to worry about right now while doing what i'm doing is an extra room to furnish. Seriously. I don't see why people need so much space.

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

It's pretty clear that a reason why the us labor participation rate is as low as it's been since 1977 is because the participation rate for women has fallen slightly after hitting a peak in the late 90s following sharp post-WWII growth. So yes I think there is something




Ambitious people from all over the world come here because it's the best place in the world for them to pursue their ambitions.

The people who come here tend to come from places where they were considered to be amongst the brightest amongst their peers. Or for some other reason which causes them to feel as if they've outgrown their hometowns. They want more.

Then when they get here they then soon realize that things are a bit more competitive. The see more money the. A lot them can't handle it because all the money here and with the cost of living being as high as it is and all the competition, they drive themselves crazy until they get burnt out and can't take it anymore. Then they leave.

So basically unhappiness giveth and unhappiness taketh away. At least that's what I've seen.

I'm 39 now and dude I can't tell you how many 'going away' parties I've been to since moving here at 22. Seemed like there was one at least every month from the ages of 29-35. I had a pretty tight group of about 8 or so friends in my early to mid-20s and now I'm the only one left. It's kind of depressing. And I don't have a ton of money and am for sure not the best or brightest at anything, at least not yet, so it's kind of surprising that I've been able to exist here for so long without going completely crazy.

Yet while I'm not entirely happy here but there are things which I've become accustomed to that would not be at my disposal in a lesser city. Not just the arts and stuff like that but just the dynamic. The intangibles. Places like London and Paris are options but both come with logistical complications and are even more expensive. Asians tend to be funny looking and more often than not annoy the hell out of me so Asia is not a viable option. Well maybe Japan would be fine but only Tokyo and it seems like the process of moving there and logistics of it all would be a major pain in the ass. Montreal is nice but the winters are rough and it would probably bore me within a year. Everywhere else in the US would bore me to tears within 6 months.

There's really just nowhere else to go, but I know it could be a lot worse, so I make it work.

I forget what your question was but hopefully something I wrote was in some way useful or insightful.

Where are you by the way?

I just came across this company in Edmonton who seems doing world class data visualization work. Really interesting stuff.

Wow great pic! I am saving this one....

Great post! I'm a little older than you and I got here when I was 18. I've lived all over the city and parts of Brooklyn. I've had anywhere from 1-6 roomates. Now (thankfully) I live alone and way uptown in Washington Heights. Why there? All I do is work and it's about 1/2 hour away from my house in NJ. So I split the time between the two.

But I hear you about friends and leaving. When I was in the music biz I was much more social (part of the job really) so I had tons and tons of friends. I mean like hundreds. My friends called me The Mayor. LOL But that was between ages 18-32. Right around then friends started getting married, having babies, moving to other cities and countries. One day I woke up and everyone was gone POOF. I was barely 40. So yeah, I hear ya. LOL

San Francisco is about the only city I would live in besides New York. But I don't drive so that limits me as well. If it were Europe I would pick Amsterdam first, then Berlin, then Prague. All affordable (tho Amsterdam is the most expensive).

Thing (for me) about NYC is that I've lived here so long, and so many of my hangouts like CBGB's and The Bottom Line are now gone, so I don't feel compelled to "go out" anymore. If it weren't for family obligations I would be out of here long ago.

[kane]

I think it most people were given the choice of working all day or staying home and being with their kids all day (assuming they would be able to afford to live the same lifestyle), most people (men and women) would chose to stay at home unless they had a job they were very happy with and passionate about.

Personally, I think most women would love to have the option. They would love to have an education and be able to get a good job, or stay home and be with their kids when and if that part of their life comes around.

[selena]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Living here in New York City

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

Yet while I'm not entirely happy here but there are things which I've become accustomed to that would not be at my disposal in a lesser city.

I just came across this company in Edmonton who seems doing world class data visualization work. Really interesting stuff.

I am envious of you both. I want to move to NYC.

That is an awesome image!

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by selena

I am envious of you both. I want to move to NYC.

That is an awesome image!

New York would welcome you!!

[selena]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

New York would welcome you!!

It is my dream. If only for a year.

[Chibbs]

Mine does a 2nd shift job from 3 to 11, comes home sleeps, wakes up about 8am.. helps me on here and with my son.. but.. my girl likes either home or work.

[Rochard]

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

Space is overrated, the suburbs are boring, and New Jersey smells.

And I have an expensive apartment in Manhattan and until lately had not worked 10 hour days for 2-3 years. I have been lately but it doesn't feel like it because I'm doing what I want. Certainly one of the last things I'd want to worry about right now while doing what i'm doing is an extra room to furnish. Seriously. I don't see why people need so much space.

Everyone is different.

I couldn't imagine living in an apartment. But that's me. A quick search shows me $3200 - $12k for a three bedroom apartment. (A three bedroom is a bare minimum for me.) Instead, I pay $1500 for my roomy 3500 sq foot house with four bedrooms, a playroom and two garages.

I disagree the suburbs are boring. With the exception of museums, we have pretty much the same stuff you have in the city. We have tons of restaurants, bars, breweries, and taprooms. We have movies, bowling, etc. We also have things you do not have - My town has it's own little airport and it's own air show, and we also have things like wineries. You might go to Chinatown for Chinese, but we have three Chinese restaurants here in town as it is. We also have Vietnamese, Afghani, Indian, Sushi, etc.

New Jersey smells? That's news to me. I am a Jersey boy myself, born in Lakewood NJ, but raised in rural New Jersey almost in Pennsylvania. Where I lived it was beautiful, all rural. I also lived in Brooklyn too when I was a teen.

It's a trade off. You pay out the ass to live in the city, and frankly you get little bang for your buck.

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by Rochard

Everyone is different.

I couldn't imagine living in an apartment. But that's me. A quick search shows me $3200 - $12k for a three bedroom apartment. (A three bedroom is a bare minimum for me.) Instead, I pay $1500 for my roomy 3500 sq foot house with four bedrooms, a playroom and two garages.

I disagree the suburbs are boring. With the exception of museums, we have pretty much the same stuff you have in the city. We have tons of restaurants, bars, breweries, and taprooms. We have movies, bowling, etc. We also have things you do not have - My town has it's own little airport and it's own air show, and we also have things like wineries. You might go to Chinatown for Chinese, but we have three Chinese restaurants here in town as it is. We also have Vietnamese, Afghani, Indian, Sushi, etc.

New Jersey smells? That's news to me. I am a Jersey boy myself, born in Lakewood NJ, but raised in rural New Jersey almost in Pennsylvania. Where I lived it was beautiful, all rural. I also lived in Brooklyn too when I was a teen.

It's a trade off. You pay out the ass to live in the city, and frankly you get little bang for your buck.

In terms of what you get for your $ you are correct. But the opportunities for superior work at the top of your chosen profession makes New York hard to beat.

As far having the same things as cities: yes you do but the quality is about 20-25% less than the nearest city. Why? Because of population and traffic. A small town has a few thousand people and if the Chinese food sucks people will go, "At least it's in town..." and probably still eat it because there's limited choice (and some Chinese is better than none).

Tastes are often less-sophiticated in general in the 'burbs. More people often = more interaction with other people therefore 'dynamic tension' that can produce amazing results. In the 'burbs people "nest" and are more isolated. They settle more while city folk are loud, annoying bitches. LOL

[Phoenix]

depends on the country and a girls friends.

[ilnjscb]

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

Space is overrated, the suburbs are boring, and New Jersey smells.

And I have an expensive apartment in Manhattan and until lately had not worked 10 hour days for 2-3 years. I have been lately but it doesn't feel like it because I'm doing what I want. Certainly one of the last things I'd want to worry about right now while doing what i'm doing is an extra room to furnish. Seriously. I don't see why people need so much space.

I would say mine is expensive, but what do you mean when you say that? I live on the upper west side and I do miss having woods every once in a while, but I'd sooner bang Phyllis Schafly than ever live in the suburbs, anywhere. It's either rural, or Manhattan.

[MakeMeGrrrrowl]

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

I'm sorry you had a miserable mom. And if you were married I'm sorry you had a miserable wife. If you have daughters I'm sorry you have miserable daughters.

If all the women in your life are miserable...maybe....its...you know.

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

I would say mine is expensive, but what do you mean when you say that? I live on the upper west side and I do miss having woods every once in a while, but I'd sooner bang Phyllis Schafly than ever live in the suburbs, anywhere. It's either rural, or Manhattan.

Yeah just like Woody Allen I get nervous fits when I leave the city. LOL But then again, being out "in the country" is also fantastic so I totally agree with you.

I'm on the UWS too (kinda). We should get a drink sometime and dish about GFY. LOL We'll get JimmyCooper to come with us!

[Colmike9]

My fiance is an engineer, has a degree from a very good school and one from China for some reason, her parents are both attorneys above the top 10% earners and she wants me to be a stay at home dad in the future. I'm not used to that...
At least I can work from home.

[MakeMeGrrrrowl]

Originally Posted by Colmike7

My fiance is an engineer, has a degree from a very good school and one from China for some reason, her parents are both attorneys above the top 10% earners and she wants me to be a stay at home dad in the future. I'm not used to that...
At least I can work from home.

Nothing wrong with it. It's an admirable job taking care of children and your home, and a very important one. If you can also make money doing it, you are fucking rocking!!!!

[selena]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

I'm on the UWS too (kinda). We should get a drink sometime and dish about GFY. LOL We'll get JimmyCooper to come with us!

I will fly in and crash your party. ;)

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by Colmike7

My fiance is an engineer, has a degree from a very good school and one from China for some reason, her parents are both attorneys above the top 10% earners and she wants me to be a stay at home dad in the future. I'm not used to that...
At least I can work from home.

Wow you scored big time man congrats! Is your fiance Asian? Just wondering as just about every Asian woman I've met is super accomplished and educated. LOL

Originally Posted by MakeMeGrrrrowl

Nothing wrong with it. It's an admirable job taking care of children and your home, and a very important one. If you can also make money doing it, you are fucking rocking!!!!

You are so right!! This is why I am so jealous of you and your lifestyle.

Originally Posted by selena

I will fly in and crash your party. ;)

C'mon over! Drinks are on me.

[Colmike9]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Wow you scored big time man congrats! Is your fiance Asian? Just wondering as just about every Asian woman I've met is super accomplished and educated. LOL

Nope, everyone asks that lol. She did teach English in China for a while, though.

And I know what you mean, the first Asian I hooked up with said "So, have you ever fucked a doctor before?" afterwards.

[ITraffic]

i don't know ... ask women?

who the fuck cares when men think on the matter.

[Rochard]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

In terms of what you get for your $ you are correct. But the opportunities for superior work at the top of your chosen profession makes New York hard to beat.

And thus the point of the article. As a young couple, if they want to live in the city they will both have to work. However, if they move out to the suburbs they got a lot more bang for their buck and one of the parents can stay home and raise the kids. The only downside is the other person has to commute.

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

As far having the same things as cities: yes you do but the quality is about 20-25% less than the nearest city. Why? Because of population and traffic. A small town has a few thousand people and if the Chinese food sucks people will go, "At least it's in town..." and probably still eat it because there's limited choice (and some Chinese is better than none).

Tastes are often less-sophiticated in general in the 'burbs. More people often = more interaction with other people therefore 'dynamic tension' that can produce amazing results. In the 'burbs people "nest" and are more isolated. They settle more while city folk are loud, annoying bitches. LOL

This might have been the case twenty or even ten years ago, but I think a lot has changed in the past decade. Restaurants in the suburbs used to be pretty crappy, lots of franchise kind of places (Chillis, Applebees, etc) and Chinese food used to mean a strip mall. We have a building on main street that is an entire block long and was a feed storage building and now houses three restaurants any three of these would be an instant hit in NYC.

As for the nesting comment... We aren't "isolated" at all in the suburbs, in fact, just the opposite. We are a huge community where we all know each other. It's great really.

[AmeliaG]

The most baffling question is why has it taken me until now to add that unbelievable pussy VikingMan to my ignore list?