Made me laugh - GoFuckYourself.com

TisMe · 11-10-2016, 07:14 PM

LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,

Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 91 lbs. I was in the check-out line

when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that

no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added

that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,

but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward

with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that

it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally

complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to

mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with

my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog

food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and

a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

laughing so hard.

Damn it all, now Costco won't let me shop there anymore

woj · 11-10-2016, 07:17 PM

had potential, but the punchline didn't deliver...

bronco67 · 11-10-2016, 07:21 PM

Purina Dog Chow is not even fit for dogs.

Dvae · 11-10-2016, 07:32 PM

Bill Engvall - heeeeres your sign!
He has a million of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWxVKLt1CRs

Grapesoda · 11-10-2016, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dvae

Bill Engvall - heeeeres your sign!
He has a million of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWxVKLt1CRs

TheDynasty · 11-10-2016, 08:34 PM

hahaha almost funny!

freecartoonporn · 11-10-2016, 08:45 PM

good but could be better.

RummyBoy · 11-11-2016, 03:00 AM

average but could be a lot better

Paul_BongaCash · 11-11-2016, 03:40 AM

That was a nice one

Tom-LifeSelector · 11-11-2016, 09:22 AM

That's a great story

11-10-2016, 07:14 PM	#1
TisMe Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,719	Made me laugh LAST TRIP TO COSTCO I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 91 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Damn it all, now Costco won't let me shop there anymore

11-10-2016, 07:17 PM	#2
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	had potential, but the punchline didn't deliver... __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

11-10-2016, 07:21 PM	#3
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,035	Purina Dog Chow is not even fit for dogs. __________________

11-10-2016, 07:32 PM	#4
Dvae Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: US Posts: 5,326	Bill Engvall - heeeeres your sign! He has a million of them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWxVKLt1CRs __________________ . . Arguing with a troll is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig, after a couple of hours you realize the pig likes it.

11-10-2016, 08:34 PM	#6
TheDynasty See Signature Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: noneya Posts: 5,882	hahaha almost funny! __________________ Try out WP-SCRIPT The Best Tube Script

11-10-2016, 08:45 PM	#7
freecartoonporn Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: NC Posts: 7,683	good but could be better. __________________ SSD Cloud Server, VPS Server, Simple Cloud Hosting \| DigitalOcean

11-11-2016, 03:00 AM	#8
RummyBoy Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 2,157	average but could be a lot better

11-11-2016, 03:40 AM	#9
Paul_BongaCash Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2016 Posts: 177	That was a nice one __________________ Skype - paul.bongacash ICQ - 678922460

11-11-2016, 09:22 AM	#10
Tom-LifeSelector Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 767	That's a great story __________________ LifeSelector Affiliates - Make money today promoting the online porn of tomorrow. tom [at] lifeselector.com skype: tom-ia icq: 684001976