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Old 04-02-2019, 07:44 PM   #1
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Couple having sex outdoors in bigfoot costumes gets accidentally shot by hunters

An Ohio couple’s attempts to spice up their sex life with some kinky roleplay turned horribly wrong last night, as they were both shot by hunters while having sex in the woods in Sasquatch costumes.

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/cou...mKSzM#comments
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Old 04-02-2019, 09:34 PM   #2
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Ah I was gonna make a furry joke but realized this is satire
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Old 04-03-2019, 10:27 AM   #3
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If the hunter thought he was shooting at a Sasquatch, was it really an accident?
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Old 04-03-2019, 10:33 AM   #4
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err, they went too far with their role playing.
they should have stayed inside their house.
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Old 04-03-2019, 11:49 AM   #5
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WTF. what a moronic fucking twat. First thing this asswipe thinks of is killing, idiot!


Despite this unfortunate accident, Jarod Burns remains convinced that sasquatches exist and says he won’t hesitate to kill it if he sees a real one.
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Old 04-03-2019, 11:58 AM   #6
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I can see having a fetish, but dressing up as 2 Apes and fucking in the woods? That seems more like a mental issue to me. There's some fucked up people out there.
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Old 04-03-2019, 12:34 PM   #7
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COLORADO: HUNTER CLAIMS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY A SASQUATCH

Darrel Whitaker from Glenwood Springs in Colorado claims a sasquatch attacked him and attempted to rape him while he was walking in the woods.
The 57-year-old man was walking to his hunting cabin on Sunday to see if it had suffered any damage during the winter.

All of a sudden, a large “gorilla-like” creature dropped from a tree in front of him and punched him in the face.

“It was at least 8-foot tall and its punches hurt like hell! I was knocked right out at the first blow!”
While Mr. Whitaker was trying to recover from the attack, the large humanoid creature began to tear his clothes while letting out some terrifying howls.

“When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear. I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.”
Mr. Whitaker immediately reported the attack to both the Glenwood Springs Police Department (GSPD) and the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency and a joint investigation has been launched.

Darrel Whitaker is convinced that the creature who attacked him was a sasquatch, but the GSPD investigators say it’s more probable that the attacker is simply a particularly large and hairy man.

They are currently interrogating nearby residents to see if anyone noticed an individual corresponding to the description of the suspect.

According to the victim, the attacker measure around 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. He has brown hair, dark brown eyes, and extremely large feet.
If you possess any information concerning the suspect, please contact the Glenwood Springs Police Department or the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency.
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Old 04-03-2019, 12:38 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosa View Post




COLORADO: HUNTER CLAIMS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY A SASQUATCH

Darrel Whitaker from Glenwood Springs in Colorado claims a sasquatch attacked him and attempted to rape him while he was walking in the woods.
The 57-year-old man was walking to his hunting cabin on Sunday to see if it had suffered any damage during the winter.

All of a sudden, a large “gorilla-like” creature dropped from a tree in front of him and punched him in the face.

“It was at least 8-foot tall and its punches hurt like hell! I was knocked right out at the first blow!”
While Mr. Whitaker was trying to recover from the attack, the large humanoid creature began to tear his clothes while letting out some terrifying howls.

“When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear. I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.”
Mr. Whitaker immediately reported the attack to both the Glenwood Springs Police Department (GSPD) and the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency and a joint investigation has been launched.

Darrel Whitaker is convinced that the creature who attacked him was a sasquatch, but the GSPD investigators say it’s more probable that the attacker is simply a particularly large and hairy man.

They are currently interrogating nearby residents to see if anyone noticed an individual corresponding to the description of the suspect.

According to the victim, the attacker measure around 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. He has brown hair, dark brown eyes, and extremely large feet.
If you possess any information concerning the suspect, please contact the Glenwood Springs Police Department or the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency.
So now it's a gay Sasquatch ? Why cant people find the everyday common or garden straight verity ?
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Old 04-03-2019, 01:01 PM   #9
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