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07-08-2020, 05:33 AM
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#1 |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Pisses me off how long I have to wait for a brand new car... !
    So, after shopping around various dealerships and brands, I decided to go for the Nissan X-Trail SUV. It's the biggest in its class and I test drove one the other day for the entire afternoon. Brought it home, took these pics of it on my driveway etc... Loved it! So, decided to get one brand spanking new - Zero Mileage, straight out the factory, with the top end spec. I'm talking the Sports Package, The leather heated seats, the upgraded entertainment and sat nav, the heated steering wheel, the cameras, the 7 seater variant etc... Basically all the upgrades - Really push the boat out... So I say to the guy, yeah, go ahead - Put me down for one - Ready to drive it home today.. LET'S DO THIS!!! Guy says sure, but they don't have any at the dealership... So I have to wait... OK, so they send one down from another dealership? Well OK, that's just a few days then... Ermm, no, not quite... There are NONE at ANY other dealerships in the UK ! Not even fucking ONE!!! The Factory have to build it sir... Well, OK... So then that's a week or two perhaps? I mean you see them being made on TV on a conveyor belt, by robots etc and perhaps the high end extras will need to be done separately, but that shouldn't take too long... It will *hopefully* be available for you to drive in 10 / 12 weeks! What, I say? HOPEFULLY? That long? Why? Oh, Covid 19 sir - They are not making them at the moment - They are making a different model ! So, I ask, they are making the X-Trail next? Well, I don't know sir is the reply ! I ask why he said 10 to 12 weeks then if he doesn't know, and he said that's why he said 'Hopefully' because he doesn't have a clue ! So it could be longer than 3 months then? Yes Sir, it could be comes the reply! So there you go - The state of the economy in 2020. Guys gonna order the brand new, top spec model, and they cant even give a date when they can supply it! Not gonna wait over 3 months - Might not even arrive then ! Might be six months or a year... Fuck that shit! Utter Fucking joke ! They shouldn't fucking offer me a free car if they cant supply it ! Fucking stupid government! . |
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07-08-2020, 07:26 AM
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#2 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,343
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How far down UK is going, even Reagan talked about it:
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07-08-2020, 08:14 AM
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#3 |
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I have a plan B
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Seattle - Miami - St Kitts
Posts: 5,501
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A friend wanted a convertible Volkswagen in a certain color for the top. It was a 3 month wait pre-covid. Sometimes anticipation can be the best part of the car buying experience. Once you receive it, payments begin, depreciation has already devalued the car, programmed obsolescence has started, and your neighbor gets one that is newer, faster and prettier. Fuck it, I'd just take a bus.
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07-08-2020, 08:26 AM
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#4 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 336
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Even prior to Covid, If you wanted a 'built to your own spec' new car, there was often a wait for a few months.
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07-08-2020, 08:41 AM
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#5 |
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Pay It Forward
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Yo Mama House
Posts: 76,902
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congratzz op! on a shitty looking car!
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07-08-2020, 08:44 AM
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#6 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
 Even if I wanted a lesser spec, Id still have to wait until the factory was making X-Trails again. They are only making Qashqais at the moment...  Oh yeah, and in 3 years time, they give me another one that's brand new to replace it - again, all free. There are benefits to being fat in the UK... |
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07-08-2020, 08:50 AM
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#7 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
 Even the cup holders between the seats have AC to keep your beer cold   Keyless entry too  Just hate 2 wait... |
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07-08-2020, 08:58 AM
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#8 |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Your mom's front hole
Posts: 40,910
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Can't go wrong with Nissan. A buddy of mine had a Pathfinder he just traded in and he put 230k miles on it with only a radiator going in 10 years. And even that was covered due to a defect.
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07-08-2020, 09:34 AM
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#9 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
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07-08-2020, 10:49 AM
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#10 |
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frc
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Bitcoin wallet
Posts: 4,664
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Looks awesome! We just got the same one a month ago. Ours is the Rouge but I think it's the same thing in Canada/US. Just got the base model though as it will get pretty trashed with dogs and stuff in it... still has a lot of really nice features. congrats
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07-08-2020, 12:12 PM
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#11 |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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I've made a note of this threads link, so I'll update it with pics of my actual free car, when it arrives (I confirmed the order just now - They even threw in seat mats to make up for the delay) and we shall see how long it takes to get my free fat car !
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07-08-2020, 12:43 PM
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#12 | |
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I have a plan B
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Seattle - Miami - St Kitts
Posts: 5,501
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Quote:
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07-08-2020, 09:41 PM
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#13 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 18,638
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Are you trolling? I can't seem to find anything on Google about obese people getting free cars in the UK
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I like turtles. |
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07-09-2020, 04:43 AM
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#14 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
However, you are correct. You won't find anything on Google about it. But let me explain what it is, why I qualify, and then I'll provide you a link to the official site where you can browse the 1878 different models of FREE, brand new cars that are available for me choose from. As I said, you are right, they don't just give you a brand new free car if you are on first name terms with the staff at McDonalds. Hell no ! Nearly everyone in the UK would have one if that were the case - You need to work at it to get really really fat. When you are as unbelievably, disgustingly as morbidly obese as me... Its classed as a disability... I'm basically a professional fatguy - Being fat is my source of income, because apart from the government paying for my housing, my bills, my utilities etc etc, and most of my food that prepared by the two NHS Nurses who come in to see me, twice a day, to tell me to stop eating and call me names However I get extra money from newspaper interviews and magazine articles about how to avoid getting as fat as I am. Sometimes the nurses charge admission to members of the public to come in to my room and laugh at me, like a victorian freak show exhibit, but they keep that money themselves as I refuse to tip them... But anyway, that's my point - I have got so fat, I cunt do anything whatsoever, so its a disability... And that's basically the scheme. If you don't have say arms or legs or something like that, in order for you to be able to leave your house and get around, the UK government will provide you with a car to do so in. Free Gratis and For Nothing You even get to choose your car from the 1878 models available by simply choosing off of the website... A bit like choosing food of a Mcdonalds screen or menu in a takeaway... Ummm... Getting hungry now... Drool...But anyway, you choose whatever car you want, and it's yours, leased from new, for 3 years. When 3 years is up, you return the car (In ANY condition) and choose another car from the menu again for the next three years During that 3 years, EVERYTHING is covered. TAX, Insurance, Repairs, Tyres, Servicing and even a breakdown service should you get stranded. The ONLY thing you need to pay for is the Gas.... And that's it - Zero to pay whatsoever - Thanks UK government ! There is however, just one small caveat which you will see on the website - If you want a fancier car, with lots of added extras etc, (Like I do) then you have to make a one off payment when you collect the car. This ranges from a couple of hundred, to (in my case) £3,200, which is a premium for having the fancy car... Yet, I win again ! You see, I NEED to have the largest SUV they do (The X-Trail) as i cunt physically fit into the smaller cars, so I dont get charged that extra fee, as its a requirement for my 'Disability'... So I get the car free, with all the extras free, and all the service and and other payments included tc, all for free, and as I said, the only thing I need to pay for is Gas? Wrong ! I Win again ! Because I am so fucking skint, i cunt a4d gas, so I get a mileage allowance included, where they give me vouchers I can exchange for fuel ! Shame i cunt exchange them for food, but I'll probably find a way... So anyway. I guess after reading all that you want me to provide you with the link, to the magical website that just gives people cars for free and then pays all the associated costs for them? Well.... . . . . . . . . . https://www.motability.co.uk/ I have the allowance rate thats there by default, so choose your make and model and away you go What car would you choose? LOL Like I say, its fun to be fat in the UK |
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07-09-2020, 05:02 AM
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#15 |
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So Fucking Fabulous
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 11,375
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I don't get why people feel the need to buy brand new cars. They are worth 30% less the second you drive them off the lot. Why not just buy a car that is a year old and pay less and get the same car?
but hey good luck getting your car in 10-12 weeks
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07-09-2020, 05:04 AM
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#16 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Poland
Posts: 9,228
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I had to wait like 4 months for a factory built-to-spec M4 and I live right next to Germany...
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07-09-2020, 05:05 AM
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#17 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Poland
Posts: 9,228
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Quote:
But in all seriousness - the reason is taxes. You often can't least a 2 year old car and many countries have tax laws that you can only write off the first X amount from a car purchase. Here it's the first 20k euro when buying or financing, but if leasing you can write off the whole thing. We have leasing here where you can put 45% down, make payments and buy the car out for 1% of it's value in which case you have basically thrown the whole car as an expense over the course of two years.
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07-09-2020, 05:47 AM
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#18 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
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07-09-2020, 05:49 AM
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#19 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
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07-09-2020, 01:30 PM
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#20 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,195
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what do you mean you get it for free ?
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Like X-ART !! |
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07-10-2020, 10:27 PM
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#21 | |
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frc
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Bitcoin wallet
Posts: 4,664
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Quote:
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09-21-2020, 06:06 AM
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#22 |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Well I've just heard that its supposed to be being delivered to me tomorrow afternoon, so I'll keep you updated and snap some pics !
I offered to go up and collect it, but they said no thank you, they'd rather drop it off, because they had to fumigate the premises after the last time I visited, and they have only just got rid of the smell... Plus I apparently broke the double sliding door as well last time, cause I was to fat to fit through them... |
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09-21-2020, 06:14 AM
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#23 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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Quote:
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09-21-2020, 11:58 AM
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#24 | |
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Member since 1999
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Off the Amalfi coast
Posts: 7,202
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Quote:
It's the same in the USA unless you want to buy what the dealer has on his lot. I went to a Dodge dealer in January before all this Covid shit hit the fan to buy a couple of Ram Rebel Trucks for my business. Living in Maine makes Londons worst winter seem like summer here, so i wanted heated engine blocks remote start, heated seats pretty much heated everything and because of the salt on the roads and the potholes i wanted tougher suspension and extra underbody protection. All these are available factory extras But no dealer in New England has the combination i want. So its a 3 month wait minimum  |
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09-22-2020, 09:22 AM
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#25 |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,488
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IT's HERE!!!!!
     Well it arrived ! Keyless entry n all... I'm spoilt....  It's the only car that I can fit in... You'll see from the photo below. I sit between the seats and operate my wheel and my pedals with my right hand and right foot. That leaves my left hand free to keep stuffing drive thru take out into my mouth whenever I'm in the car.... The shifter sits between my legs like a joystick in a helicopter  And guess what? Only 18 Miles on the clock !  Woot Woot Being a FAT FUCK pays off in the UK... 100% Completely FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! |
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09-22-2020, 09:34 AM
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#26 |
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Jägermeister Test Pilot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: NORCAL
Posts: 72,792
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I've never waited for a brand new car; I've always bought something off the lot.
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