Gutterboy

My brother in law, an emergency room doc, is visiting. I've been showing him around the adult internet.. and knocking back a 12'er. He's just finished reading the famous spacedog/chat bot cybersex thread and thinks GFY is a hoot.

Anyway, he will answer questions you have about Doc's, hospitals, health, medicine.. that sort of shit.

Questions will be answered until we either pass out or my brother returns from Best Buy with a copy of Grand Theft Auto VC.

Disclaimer: this is not actual medical advice and you should not use this as a substitute for seeing your own doctor.

no, he won't show you his man-boobs

d0se

I am 5 foot 8 inches and skinny as fuck.. how do I put ON weight?

P.s. i am a smoker ...

Spunky

no manboobs

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Gutterboy

nicotine = potent appetite suppressant. quit.

Lane

i;m willing to donate a few lbs

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J-Reel

Have you ever banged a nurse on the job? What part of the hospital?

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ICQ 177-447-671

Gutterboy

Once during residency in the meditation room, but we're too tired to fuck most of the time. 36 hour shifts don't do much for the sex life, and dating nurses outside of work is a no-no because its a 'power relationship' in legal terms... I know two guys who've done that and its come back to bite them in the ass legally.

having an MD is a pussy meal ticket, but its best to keep it outside of work.

twistyneck

What's the weirdest thing you've had to dig out of someone's ass?

Spunky

A toy car like in Jackass

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d0se

Thanks doc.

Theo

did you ever made a mistake that resulted to loss of someone's life?

d0se

cool... fat transplant eh? wonder if our fat types are compatible

Gutterboy

A can of pork and beans.

More common is we'll see people who've removed things themselves and have tearing, sometimes even rectal perforations. Nasty stuff.

Every doc has a list of most hated conditions. Bizarre sexual stuff people do to themselves and mental disorders are usually near the top.

Jay_StandAhead

What is your opinion on medication? Do you know it is bad for people's health, but prescribe it anyways?

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Spunky

Whats the worst thing you have seen in Er?..and What if some person was dying in your hands and you werent supposed to touch him ..Would you? or let him die?

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Exxxotica

ok.... here's one for ya.

My friend who has no health insurance found a small lump in her breast.

She is really hesitant about seeing a doctor because of the health insurance issue. I feel she should see a doctor ASAP.

She's procrastinating because she feels that if they do find something, that will basicly eliminate ANY chance of her getting some health insurance. Is this true?

Should she get some health insurance first, then see a doctor?

Do most insurance companies require a physical? I know that mine, I just filled out a questionaire thingy.

Help!

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twistyneck

Very interesting. Thanks.

Gutterboy

Can't answer that, but I'll say that anonymous surveys show 50-60% of md's have. Fatigue and stress are big contributors. Usually its not actively doing something that kills someone, its faliure to pursue symptoms.

A gp I know saw a teenager who was complaining of general malaise and transient pain in the legs. He wrote the leg pain off as nothing and did tests for mono, blood workup etc for the tiredness. Everything came back negative.. so he decided it was probably stress and sent her home.

By the time she came back the leg pain had tuned into nagging bone pain. It turned out to be a rare form of bone cancer that had metastasized agressively by the time it was diagnosed correctly.

ldinternet

What are some of the worst/goriest injuries you've ever seen?

Gutterboy

Don't understand this one. Sometimes we have to prescribe stuff that may have side effects in order to treat something that'd have worse effects than the drug if left alone. Is that what you're getting at?

Theo

isn't this fucked up? fucking govts

if you haven't seen John Q it says A LOT

http://www.popmatters.com/film/reviews/j/john-q.html

ldinternet

What are some of the first steps taken if... say... a guy is brought in, he's just had two legs chopped off in a serious auto accident?

Interesting thread.

Gutterboy

Just look at the medical injuries pages on rotten.com We see that stuff nightly, usually from car and motorcycle accidents.

The Other Sweetie

Hmm, I'll take ya up on this offer...... Taking Cortisporin suspension for a ruptured eardrum, good or bad?

FATPad

What do you think of the Atkins diet?

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Theo

thanks for the reply,

i bet i sounded like an ass with such question. I admire doctors a lot, but I couldn't imagine myself ever as one. The question "what if i would do something wrong..." would be stuck in my mind.

Gutterboy

To start with, 80% of breast lumps are benign. However if a biopsy did find something that needed treating, it would be a disqualifying pre-existing condition as far as most insurance companies are concerned.

I would advise her to get insurance quickly, lie about the lump on the application form, then let the doctor find it during her first visit.

Jay_StandAhead

Well I meant that in general, someone would be more healthy if he never took any anti-biotics or pills. They just wreck your system don't they

Were you ever offered money to prescribe more medication?

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Exxxotica

Thanks a bunch

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Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven

note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy

Dirty F

If youre home alone and by accident fall into a glass table or something else shitty happens and you cut open your subclavian or radial artery, what does one do to stop the bleeding right away and dont bleed to death. I cant imagine putting some bandage on it would do any good.

Gutterboy

Relatively simple in the absence of other injuries. 1. follow standard protocols for shock 2. stop blood loss / replace fluids / transfuse if necessary 3. refer for emergency surgery once stabilized.

Usually its not that easy, because if its an auto accident where the legs are mangled badly there will likely be other injuries. spinal stuff, internal hemorrhaging etc.

ldinternet

Thanks. Gory, but... interesting...

SonOfRage

Can you get AIDS from oral sex? Like when a girl is suckin on your dong, can she give you the plague?

Gutterboy

No and No

Spunky

Answer Me

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d0se

pushy pushy

phogirl69

Is med school extremely extremely challenging, or is it doable?
Is dental school an "easier" option and more manageable and easier than going to med school? I am seriously thinking of perhaps going to dental school one day if I do good in my chemistry/science classes in college.

Gutterboy

Malpratice suit.

Spunky

I dont think he can

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421Fill

Why do they always take you back to the rooms from the waiting room, only to end up waiting another hour or more? Why not let you wait in the lobby with the TV?


I had a concussion once that caused my left pupil to dilate almost twice as big as the other, and when they were taking me back to the room, the doctor was dead set on telling me that it was impossible and that my pupil had dilated for some other reason... then on the discharge sheet on the way out, #3 reason for me to come back was dilated pupils and or one being larger than the other... don't really know what the question is for this one, but I'm hoping that since you're drunk I'll get a colorful answer. ;)

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SonOfRage

You should be a stripper. They make mad money, and it take no schooling.

Gutterboy

Possible but highly improbable. Can't give you exact figures, but they'd be much lower than the chances of contracting HIV from unprotected hetero intercourse where the female is infected, which is pretty unlikely.

Gutterboy

Its not medical school so much, but internship and residency are brutal. 36 hour shifts with one or two 60 minute naps are common in emergency rotations for several years. You REALLY have to love what you are doing to survive it.

Can't answer the ? about dental school.

FATPad

What exactly is the point of making doctors work 36 hour shifts?

I would think being dead ass tired and making decisions that affect people's lives is not the best combination in the world.

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Jay_StandAhead

Do you get yelled at by frustrated parents sometimes? Does it piss you off?

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The Other Sweetie

Uhhh, would you care to elaborate on that, pleeeease? lol That's what was prescribed on Tues (that and 875mg Amoxil) for my ruptured eardrum.
Since my hearing is on the line (I lost the hearing, am left with only ringing in that ear), I'd like to know what your thoughts are on why that shouldn't have been prescribed. What should have been prescribed?

Gutterboy

Radial artery: Pressure in the right place or a tourniquet above the elbow while dialing 911 will save you.

Subclavian artery: You'd have a hard time cuttng this one in the way you described, but hypothetically it'd probably be fatal. You likely not make it to the phone before you passed out.

Dirty F

Cool, thanks man!

Gutterboy

uh huh. My hate list: hypochondriacs, VIP personality types, obesity in cases where they've done it to themselves, alcoholism, drug abusers, non-compliant types, self diagnosers, headaches, fevers, dependent types etc.

There are only a very few reasons we want to see you in an Emergency room.. come in for minor shit and don't expect to have the red carpet rolled out.

Gutterboy

I was kidding! What you've been given is boringly normal.

Amoxil (or augmentin, clavulin, larotid etc) is standard, and cortisporin suspension.. usually used to treat eye inflammations.. works well as an ear canal antiinflammatory.

We see alot of kids with this.