Be the funny guy at the office - GoFuckYourself.com

dodger21 · 11-11-2003, 05:50 PM

So fucking absurd, its funny!

Top ten ways to be "The Funny Guy" in your office

10. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick
it in your ass- then return it and tell the person to smell it-
when they
tell you that it smells bad- be like, "It should! I had it in my
ass!"

9. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with
your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking
everyone's hand.

8. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know!" then
call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.

7. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the
front of your pants.

6. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over
and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!!" Then when it
stops.. look down and say...."Oh."

5. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and
sees it tell them its the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it
up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

4. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard- then during the
meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up
a big loogie- then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it
to the person next to you and say "Beat that!"

3. Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker,"
then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good "ass fucking".

2. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if
they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.

1. Announce in a meeting that you have just found out you have
a terminal disease. After everyone gives you the sympathy
remarks-tell everyone how you're just kidding- tell everyone that they're just
a bunch of retards.

dennisthemenace · 11-11-2003, 05:53 PM

LOL for the same reason you said..

#6 got me big time

2handb · 11-11-2003, 06:00 PM

Man That's some funny shit, you should send it to my site under the comments page (neox3 life submissions) I'l post it for everyone to see. By the way on my site you won't need credit cards it's free, no bullshit, check it out for yourself at www.neox3.com

see ya

Dirty F · 11-11-2003, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 2handb
Man That's some funny shit, you should send it to my site under the comments page (neox3 life submissions) I'l post it for everyone to see. By the way on my site you won't need credit cards it's free, no bullshit, check it out for yourself at www.neox3.com

see ya

Posted twice, spammed twice. Nice start bro.

ytcracker · 11-11-2003, 06:15 PM

yea those are funny

nofx · 11-11-2003, 06:19 PM

some stuff to do is when your riding in a car and people are near the side of the road, roll down your window, and yell "I SHIT IN YOUR HAT!!" at people, even if they are not wearing a hat, you will get some funny responces.

VirtuMike · 11-11-2003, 06:22 PM

Start yelling about your TPS reports.

ummm yeah

Shooter · 11-11-2003, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 2handb
Man That's some funny shit, you should send it to my site under the comments page (neox3 life submissions) I'l post it for everyone to see. By the way on my site you won't need credit cards it's free, no bullshit, check it out for yourself at www.neox3.com

see ya

This isn't a surfer board, dipshit.

Why · 11-11-2003, 06:30 PM

i laughed..... out loud even.

Tofu · 11-11-2003, 06:31 PM

Funny, I can see HOAX doing all of that shit and being serious about it...

foulfowl · 11-11-2003, 06:36 PM

Hilarious!

triumph · 11-11-2003, 06:37 PM

number 10 rocks!

11-11-2003, 07:03 PM

Great list!

I posted it on my old site a couple years back, but it's always good to have another laugh!

And to 2handb :

11-11-2003, 05:50 PM	#1
dodger21 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,680	Be the funny guy at the office So fucking absurd, its funny! Top ten ways to be "The Funny Guy" in your office 10. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick it in your ass- then return it and tell the person to smell it- when they tell you that it smells bad- be like, "It should! I had it in my ass!" 9. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand. 8. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know!" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race. 7. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the front of your pants. 6. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!!" Then when it stops.. look down and say...."Oh." 5. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it tell them its the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point. 4. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard- then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up a big loogie- then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "Beat that!" 3. Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker," then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good "ass fucking". 2. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the mouth. 1. Announce in a meeting that you have just found out you have a terminal disease. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks-tell everyone how you're just kidding- tell everyone that they're just a bunch of retards.

11-11-2003, 05:53 PM	#2
dennisthemenace Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: In the present moment Posts: 2,668	LOL for the same reason you said.. #6 got me big time __________________ All the best to you

11-11-2003, 06:15 PM	#5
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	yea those are funny __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

11-11-2003, 06:22 PM	#7
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Start yelling about your TPS reports. ummm yeah __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

11-11-2003, 06:31 PM	#10
Tofu The Video Specialist Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: California Posts: 5,615	Funny, I can see HOAX doing all of that shit and being serious about it... __________________ tofu916 video services - tofu916.com twitter: tofu916 \| skype: tofu916 \| tel: 916-672-TOFU \| e: tofu # tofu916.com

11-11-2003, 06:00 PM	#3
2handb Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Phoenix Posts: 3	Man That's some funny shit, you should send it to my site under the comments page (neox3 life submissions) I'l post it for everyone to see. By the way on my site you won't need credit cards it's free, no bullshit, check it out for yourself at www.neox3.com see ya

11-11-2003, 06:19 PM	#6
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	some stuff to do is when your riding in a car and people are near the side of the road, roll down your window, and yell "I SHIT IN YOUR HAT!!" at people, even if they are not wearing a hat, you will get some funny responces. __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

11-11-2003, 06:30 PM	#9
Why MFBA Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: PNW Posts: 7,230	i laughed..... out loud even.

11-11-2003, 06:36 PM	#11
foulfowl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Detroit Summers/Miami Winters Posts: 300	Hilarious!

11-11-2003, 06:37 PM	#12
triumph Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,433	number 10 rocks!

11-11-2003, 07:03 PM	#13
shermo Guest Posts: n/a	Great list! I posted it on my old site a couple years back, but it's always good to have another laugh! And to 2handb :