Cocksucking jury duty. - GoFuckYourself.com

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 04:41 PM

Sent in my standard excuse letter that I've been sending for years.... never had a problem getting excused in California.... but apparently Hawai'i has different guidelines for the excuse department.

They just called about my letter and said they cannot excuse me. Fuckers.

So now I gotta fucking go..... end of the month.

well, should be a pretty damn short interview process for me at least..... cuz the first fucking thing outta my mouth is gonna be "I am a fucking pornographer. Thanks, and have a nice trial."

ytcracker · 03-05-2004, 04:42 PM

i had to do the jury duty thing a little while back

didnt get called into trial though i just sat in the tank and waited

03-05-2004, 04:44 PM

stop crying

hova · 03-05-2004, 04:44 PM

Had to read it three times before I understand it (alcohol is a bad thing), but I am happy we dont have those problems in the Netherlands.

DollahDave · 03-05-2004, 04:49 PM

your quite a whiney baby amp

has anyone changed your diaper lately?

when the cops find out you mollest animals in hawaii and they assign me to your jury i am going to make sure you get 400 yrs with a nigga named bubba

hahahahaha

fucking ignorant americans

modelgigtalent · 03-05-2004, 04:49 PM

I got cocksucking jury duty too, March 11th, I need an excuse.

kenny · 03-05-2004, 04:50 PM

Trust me act like a racist prick and you will be excused

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave
your quite a whiney baby amp

yes I am.

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave

has anyone changed your diaper lately?

no they haven't... you volunteering to wipe my ass?

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave

when the cops find out you mollest animals in hawaii and they assign me to your jury i am going to make sure you get 400 yrs with a nigga named bubba

looking forward to it.

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave

hahahahaha

hahahahaha right back atcha sweet cheeks.

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave

fucking ignorant americans

fucking ignorant non-americans.

axelcat · 03-05-2004, 04:54 PM

jury duty sux

JohnV · 03-05-2004, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ytcracker
i had to do the jury duty thing a little while back

didnt get called into trial though i just sat in the tank and waited

Yup yup, same here in Las Vegas....waste of my entire morning

Jarrod · 03-05-2004, 04:56 PM

Jury duty is your duty as an American citizen so Amp and modelgig stop whining like bitches.

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jarrod
Jury duty is your duty as an American citizen so Amp and modelgig stop whining like bitches.

i gave four years of my fucking life to this fucking country.... that should be good to last me for a while without having to be bothered with deciding the fate of some fucking drugged out twink that got caught selling his ass for some fucking ice.

kenny · 03-05-2004, 04:57 PM

They interview you first. You just have to come off like a racist asshole. They WILL NOT pick you

Jarrod · 03-05-2004, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

i gave four years of my fucking life to this fucking country.... that should be good to last me for a while without having to be bothered with deciding the fate of some fucking drugged out twink that got caught selling his ass for some fucking ice.

You do have a good point. I guess the world is less complex than we once thought.

CDSmith · 03-05-2004, 05:00 PM

I always thought being called to jury duty was sort of an honor, like your community is saying "Hey, here is an honest standup guy, please come and help us decide the guilt or innocense of a fellow member of society" ..... or something along those lines. Am I wrong? Is jury duty just a big pain in the ass to be avoided at all costs?

Do you know what kind of a trial it will be Amp? Is it murder? You know it might be quite an interesting experience. Of course if you're swamped with design work and have to put a lot of it on hold for this I can see where you'd be a might pissed.

psyko514 · 03-05-2004, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
"I am a fucking pornographer. Thanks, and have a nice trial."

hahaha... just be sure they don't decide to investigate your sites and put you on trial next

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
I always thought being called to jury duty was sort of an honor, like your community is saying "Hey, here is an honest standup guy, please come and help us decide the guilt or innocense of a fellow member of society" ..... or something along those lines. Am I wrong? Is jury duty just a big pain in the ass to be avoided at all costs?

Do you know what kind of a trial it will be Amp? Is it murder? You know it might be quite an interesting experience. Of course if you're swamped with design work and have to put a lot of it on hold for this I can see where you'd be a might pissed.

i guess that's one way to look at it....

personally I don't view it as any kind of "honor"..... it's a huge fucking pain in the ass and my time is worth more than $15 bucks a day. (cab fare not reimbursed, no daycare provided, and lunch not included.) And odds are, it's NOT a fellow member of society.... most likely it's some fucking waste of oxygen meth head that stabbed someone for a $5 spot.

the best way the state government can honor me, is to leave me the fuck alone.

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:08 PM

besides.... if it's such an honor, there should be a right of refusal. But if you DON'T go, there is a warrent issued for your arrest and then YOU become the criminal.

and that sir, is fucked.

kenny · 03-05-2004, 05:11 PM

Go in there with the same attitude as you have now..

They will never pick you again

KMR Stitch · 03-05-2004, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kenny
They interview you first. You just have to come off like a racist asshole. They WILL NOT pick you

Kinda hard in Hawaii. Holey

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:16 PM

thank god I'm not on Moloka'i or Lana'i.... those poor bastards gotta buy a fucking plane ticket for this shit.

psyko514 · 03-05-2004, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
besides.... if it's such an honor, there should be a right of refusal. But if you DON'T go, there is a warrent issued for your arrest and then YOU become the criminal.

and that sir, is fucked.

What are the penalties for avoiding jury duty? How much jail time? Fines?

kenny · 03-05-2004, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psyko514

What are the penalties for avoiding jury duty? How much jail time? Fines?

They give you 3 more jury duties

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psyko514

What are the penalties for avoiding jury duty? How much jail time? Fines?

not sure.... but I imagine they issue a warrant for your arrest for contempt of court.... then it's up to the judge as to how hard you get Lawrence Connered.

pushpills · 03-05-2004, 05:22 PM

tell em your really prejudice against hawaiins

NoCarrier · 03-05-2004, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Sent in my standard excuse letter that I've been sending for years.... never had a problem getting excused in California.... but apparently Hawai'i has different guidelines for the excuse department.

They just called about my letter and said they cannot excuse me. Fuckers.

So now I gotta fucking go..... end of the month.

well, should be a pretty damn short interview process for me at least..... cuz the first fucking thing outta my mouth is gonna be "I am a fucking pornographer. Thanks, and have a nice trial."

Those guys are not stupid. If you look angry or sarcastic, the judge will force you to stay.

Then you'll be selected as a juror when the defense and the prosecution select them.

I've been there and didn't get selected at the end. Took them 10 hours to select all of them. Longest day ever.

cayne · 03-05-2004, 05:23 PM

psyko514 · 03-05-2004, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

not sure.... but I imagine they issue a warrant for your arrest for contempt of court.... then it's up to the judge as to how hard you get Lawrence Connered.

hahaha...

i wonder if it ever happens that someone skipping jury duty gets a worse punishment than the criminal found guilty?

tranza · 03-05-2004, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
well, should be a pretty damn short interview process for me at least..... cuz the first fucking thing outta my mouth is gonna be "I am a fucking pornographer. Thanks, and have a nice trial."

Lol.... I'd like to be there when you say it just to look at the lawyers faces....

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:26 PM

this is where the extensive tattooing may come in handy....

i doubt either the defense or the prosecution want a guy sitting on the jury that's covered in ink.

pimplink · 03-05-2004, 05:30 PM

They will give you three more jury duties!

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pimplink
They will give you three more jury duties!

you can only be called once a year.

TaDoW · 03-05-2004, 05:31 PM

reason #93,492 to own a paysite:

you still make money even when sitting in on jury duty, plus if you're hooked up you can check stats on your cell phone during the case and just throw out random shit if someone asks you a question in deliberation.

TaDoW · 03-05-2004, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TaDoW
reason #93,492 to own a paysite:

you still make money even when sitting in on jury duty, plus if you're hooked up you can check stats on your cell phone during the case and just throw out random shit if someone asks you a question in deliberation.

hell, most phones even have aim these days ... you could still market your site from the courtroom!

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TaDoW

hell, most phones even have aim these days ... you could still market your site from the courtroom!

all cellphones, pagers, & laptops must be turned off in the courtroom..... (per my little fucking instruction sheet here....)

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 05:35 PM

also, no shorts, slippahs, tank tops, etc.....

which means now I gotta find clothes and shoes for this shit.

DollahDave · 03-05-2004, 05:48 PM

"i gave four years of my fucking life to this fucking country"

being a chef for the military was hard shit eh

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave
"i gave four years of my fucking life to this fucking country"

being a chef for the military was hard shit eh

I have no idea.... I wasn't a chef.

Gramps · 03-05-2004, 06:03 PM

Can I come stay at your house while your sequestered. If you take long enough to deliberate the sentence, I could have a weeks vacation in Maui!

psyko514 · 03-05-2004, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DollahDave
"i gave four years of my fucking life to this fucking country"

being a chef for the military was hard shit eh

i can imagine it would be. that's a lot of food to cook. and without food, the army couldn't do much.

CDSmith · 03-05-2004, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
besides.... if it's such an honor, there should be a right of refusal. But if you DON'T go, there is a warrent issued for your arrest and then YOU become the criminal.

and that sir, is fucked.

I believe it falls under the category of "civic duty" or something like that. And yes, there certainly is a penalty for pulling a no-show on it. But that's just the way it is. No sense getting all bent up about it. An Amp's gotta do what an Amp's gotta do.

I'm interested to hear what happens after they ask you what you do. Please come back and share with the class. :D

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
I believe it falls under the category of "civic duty" or something like that. And yes, there certainly is a penalty for pulling a no-show on it. But that's just the way it is. No sense getting all bent up about it. An Amp's gotta do what an Amp's gotta do.

I'm interested to hear what happens after they ask you what you do. Please come back and share with the class. :D

well, personally I think it's bullshit. What's the next "civic duty" they're gonna put on the books and mandate? Twice a year you get called to go mop the fucking jailhouse floors? How about go in and empty trashcans for the judge for a day? Maybe we should all be required to repaint the parking lot lines once a year so they stay fresh and sharp looking. Or maybe be mandated to take care of the bailif's fucking dry cleaning under penalty of law.

buncha fucking shit if you ask me.

boardersweetie · 03-05-2004, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
also, no shorts, slippahs, tank tops, etc.....

which means now I gotta find clothes and shoes for this shit.

No slippahs? Those are the only shoes I own.

Good thing I still live in Cali and can get out of this crap easily.

Honeyslut · 03-05-2004, 06:15 PM

My mother always got out of jury duty 99% of the time cause my father was a cop !

boardersweetie · 03-05-2004, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

well, personally I think it's bullshit. What's the next "civic duty" they're gonna put on the books and mandate? Twice a year you get called to go mop the fucking jailhouse floors? How about go in and empty trashcans for the judge for a day? Maybe we should all be required to repaint the parking lot lines once a year so they stay fresh and sharp looking. Or maybe be mandated to take care of the bailif's fucking dry cleaning under penalty of law.

buncha fucking shit if you ask me.

Amp - the resident GFY anarchist. you're my hero.

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 06:19 PM

I'm gonna tell 'em straight up.... guilty or innocent, doesn't matter to me... whatever gets me the fuck out of there the fastest.

media · 03-05-2004, 06:19 PM

Amp.. just tell them that you believe "Everyone is GUILTY, until proven otherwise, cuz if you were stopped, or arrested, you obviously did something wrong to attract the attention of the police!" They will tell you to get the fuck out of their court room and never come back, like they did to my buddy who did that in Hayward..

Amputate Your Head · 03-05-2004, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by media
Amp.. just tell them that you believe "Everyone is GUILTY, until proven otherwise, cuz if you were stopped, or arrested, you obviously did something wrong to attract the attention of the police!" They will tell you to get the fuck out of their court room and never come back, like they did to my buddy who did that in Hayward..

hmmm.... good point there. Maybe I should just tell 'em my brother is a cop so, naturally I am biased toward the side of the police. Most definately guilty until proven innocent.

TurboTrucker · 03-05-2004, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Cocksucking jury duty

How many read the title and thought hmm I wonder how well that would convert?

boardersweetie · 03-05-2004, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TurboTrucker

How many read the title and thought hmm I wonder how well that would convert?

That's priceless!

03-05-2004, 04:41 PM	#1
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Cocksucking jury duty. Sent in my standard excuse letter that I've been sending for years.... never had a problem getting excused in California.... but apparently Hawai'i has different guidelines for the excuse department. They just called about my letter and said they cannot excuse me. Fuckers. So now I gotta fucking go..... end of the month. well, should be a pretty damn short interview process for me at least..... cuz the first fucking thing outta my mouth is gonna be "I am a fucking pornographer. Thanks, and have a nice trial." __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-05-2004, 04:42 PM	#2
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	i had to do the jury duty thing a little while back didnt get called into trial though i just sat in the tank and waited __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

03-05-2004, 04:44 PM	#4
hova Traffillionaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ:209371571 Posts: 22,430	Had to read it three times before I understand it (alcohol is a bad thing), but I am happy we dont have those problems in the Netherlands. __________________ http://traffillions.com/ Sign up and get lifetime revshare on your traffic

03-05-2004, 04:49 PM	#6
modelgigtalent Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: Sin Sity - Hit me here! ICQ: 165829688 Posts: 2,208	I got cocksucking jury duty too, March 11th, I need an excuse. __________________ Web marketing - video editing - color correcting and more. ICQ -165829688

03-05-2004, 04:50 PM	#7
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	Trust me act like a racist prick and you will be excused __________________ 7

03-05-2004, 04:44 PM	#3
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	stop crying

03-05-2004, 04:49 PM	#5
DollahDave So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 210	your quite a whiney baby amp has anyone changed your diaper lately? when the cops find out you mollest animals in hawaii and they assign me to your jury i am going to make sure you get 400 yrs with a nigga named bubba hahahahaha fucking ignorant americans

03-05-2004, 04:54 PM	#9
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450	jury duty sux

03-05-2004, 04:56 PM	#11
Jarrod Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 837	Jury duty is your duty as an American citizen so Amp and modelgig stop whining like bitches. __________________

03-05-2004, 04:57 PM	#13
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	They interview you first. You just have to come off like a racist asshole. They WILL NOT pick you __________________ 7

03-05-2004, 05:00 PM	#15
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	I always thought being called to jury duty was sort of an honor, like your community is saying "Hey, here is an honest standup guy, please come and help us decide the guilt or innocense of a fellow member of society" ..... or something along those lines. Am I wrong? Is jury duty just a big pain in the ass to be avoided at all costs? Do you know what kind of a trial it will be Amp? Is it murder? You know it might be quite an interesting experience. Of course if you're swamped with design work and have to put a lot of it on hold for this I can see where you'd be a might pissed. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-05-2004, 05:08 PM	#18
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	besides.... if it's such an honor, there should be a right of refusal. But if you DON'T go, there is a warrent issued for your arrest and then YOU become the criminal. and that sir, is fucked. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-05-2004, 05:11 PM	#19
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	Go in there with the same attitude as you have now.. They will never pick you again __________________ 7

03-05-2004, 05:16 PM	#21
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	thank god I'm not on Moloka'i or Lana'i.... those poor bastards gotta buy a fucking plane ticket for this shit. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-05-2004, 05:22 PM	#25
pushpills Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 3,700	tell em your really prejudice against hawaiins

03-05-2004, 05:23 PM	#27
cayne My time is coming... Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Europe --- eMail: service(at)badasscompany.com --- ICQ: 60288510 Posts: 7,476	m0h? __________________ If lesbian anal is wrong, I don't want to be right.

03-05-2004, 05:26 PM	#30
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	this is where the extensive tattooing may come in handy.... i doubt either the defense or the prosecution want a guy sitting on the jury that's covered in ink. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-05-2004, 05:30 PM	#31
pimplink Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Closer than you think Posts: 9,535	They will give you three more jury duties! __________________ Need Mainstream Content and SEO? SEO * Website Copy * Blogs Blogging - PR Work - Forum Marketing - Social Marketing - Link building - Articles 100% Guaranteed Content!

03-05-2004, 05:31 PM	#33
TaDoW Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Where It Rains Posts: 3,875	reason #93,492 to own a paysite: you still make money even when sitting in on jury duty, plus if you're hooked up you can check stats on your cell phone during the case and just throw out random shit if someone asks you a question in deliberation. __________________ -TaDoW I've Upped My Standards, Up Yours!

03-05-2004, 05:35 PM	#36
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	also, no shorts, slippahs, tank tops, etc..... which means now I gotta find clothes and shoes for this shit. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-05-2004, 05:48 PM	#37
DollahDave So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 210	"i gave four years of my fucking life to this fucking country" being a chef for the military was hard shit eh

03-05-2004, 06:03 PM	#39
Gramps Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Oregon Posts: 168	Can I come stay at your house while your sequestered. If you take long enough to deliberate the sentence, I could have a weeks vacation in Maui!

03-05-2004, 06:15 PM	#44
Honeyslut Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Ass Valley, Ca Posts: 6,436	My mother always got out of jury duty 99% of the time cause my father was a cop ! __________________ http://nakedlunchnews.comWhat's up ? Naked Lunch News !

03-05-2004, 06:19 PM	#46
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	I'm gonna tell 'em straight up.... guilty or innocent, doesn't matter to me... whatever gets me the fuck out of there the fastest. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-05-2004, 06:19 PM	#47
media Confirmed Moneymaker Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Eugene, OR It's Like Jail, Only with Trees! Posts: 9,852	Amp.. just tell them that you believe "Everyone is GUILTY, until proven otherwise, cuz if you were stopped, or arrested, you obviously did something wrong to attract the attention of the police!" They will tell you to get the fuck out of their court room and never come back, like they did to my buddy who did that in Hayward.. __________________ I'm here for the violence!