Diary of your cat and your dog... find out what they're really thinking - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 03-03-2004, 11:11 AM

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!

5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!

6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!

8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded; I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, this is not working according to plan. There was some
sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives here are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current lacement in the high metal room, his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ......

DTK · 03-03-2004, 11:30 AM

good one

BradM · 03-03-2004, 11:32 AM

LOL yeah that is one of my favorite things ever.

03-03-2004, 11:11 AM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Diary of your cat and your dog... find out what they're really thinking EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, this is not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives here are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current lacement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ...... __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-03-2004, 11:30 AM	#2
DTK Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The 510 Posts: 4,545	good one

03-03-2004, 11:32 AM	#3
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	LOL yeah that is one of my favorite things ever.