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DVTimes · 04-09-2004, 04:48 AM

found on a website
----------------------------------------------

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of
the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence,
effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty and Defender Of The Faith Queen Elizabeth II will resume
monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and
other territories. Except Utah, which she does not
fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony
Blair, MP for the 98.85% of you who have until now
been
unaware that there is a world outside your borders)
will appoint a minister for America without the need
for further elections. Congress and the Senate will
be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next
year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown
Dependency, the following rules are introduced with
immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford
English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check
the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just
how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally,
you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven
words interspersed with filler noises such as "like"
and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form
of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We
will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English
and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to
cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national
anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully
carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football".
There is only one kind of football. What you refer to
as American "football" is not a very good game. The
2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
outside your borders may have noticed that no one else
plays "American" football. You will no longer be
allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played
with the girls. Itis a difficult game. Those of you
brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not
involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar hahahaha armour like nancies). We are
hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side
by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France,
using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The
98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world
outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is
French for "shit".

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday.
November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only
in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are
crap and it is for your own good. When we show you
German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been
driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

DR_PHIL · 04-09-2004, 04:52 AM

add in tax breaks for oil companys and bush will sign that into law

brickbat · 04-09-2004, 04:59 AM

That's the closest-to-genuinely-funny thing I've seen on GFY today.

DVTimes · 04-09-2004, 05:07 AM

MrJackMeHoff · 04-09-2004, 05:09 AM

spanky part 2 · 04-09-2004, 05:18 AM

The only thing I would change is that "english " football is the sport of "nancies"

When I was in school, a very long time ago, the only people who played "english" football,( soccer for all of us Americans) were retards and really nerdy kids with lots of pimples.

cayne · 04-09-2004, 05:19 AM

kmanrox · 04-09-2004, 05:25 AM

you guys are lucky we didn't make *you* sign something similar after we beat you down like redbellied stepchildren in the Revolutionary War...

DVTimes · 04-09-2004, 05:41 AM

04-09-2004, 04:48 AM	#1
DVTimes xxx Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UK Posts: 31,547	found on a website found on a website ---------------------------------------------- NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty and Defender Of The Faith Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 98.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Itis a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar hahahaha armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit". 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day". 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Thank you for your cooperation. __________________ The Affiliate Program

04-09-2004, 04:59 AM	#3
brickbat Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 740	That's the closest-to-genuinely-funny thing I've seen on GFY today. __________________ Chinese/Japanese/Korean Traffic * Best Dialer * Get Hosting Buy Content * Email Program * Mainstream & Cam Traffic General Adult Traffic * Non-porn Popups

04-09-2004, 05:07 AM	#4
DVTimes xxx Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UK Posts: 31,547	__________________ The Affiliate Program

04-09-2004, 05:09 AM	#5
MrJackMeHoff Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: LOLLIPOP ISLAND =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Posts: 4,569	__________________

04-09-2004, 05:19 AM	#7
cayne My time is coming... Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Europe --- eMail: service(at)badasscompany.com --- ICQ: 60288510 Posts: 7,476	__________________ If lesbian anal is wrong, I don't want to be right.

04-09-2004, 04:52 AM	#2
DR_PHIL Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Never visits the same thread twice Posts: 4,099	add in tax breaks for oil companys and bush will sign that into law

04-09-2004, 05:18 AM	#6
spanky part 2 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,981	The only thing I would change is that "english " football is the sport of "nancies" When I was in school, a very long time ago, the only people who played "english" football,( soccer for all of us Americans) were retards and really nerdy kids with lots of pimples.

04-09-2004, 05:25 AM	#8
kmanrox aka K-Man Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Gutter Posts: 29,292	you guys are lucky we didn't make you sign something similar after we beat you down like redbellied stepchildren in the Revolutionary War... __________________ Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor

04-09-2004, 05:41 AM	#9
DVTimes xxx Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UK Posts: 31,547	__________________ The Affiliate Program