Are you a perfectionist? - GoFuckYourself.com

digifan · 06-01-2004, 10:03 PM

Perfectionists more prone to emotional, physical and relationship problems

See test at the end of the article.

Tue Jun 1, 5:59 PM ET

TORONTO (CP) - Everyone knows the old adage that nobody's perfect. But that doesn't stop a lot of people from being perfectionists - a personality trait that Canadian researchers say can lead to multiple health problems.

Gordon Flett, a professor of psychology at Toronto's York University, says perfectionists are under constant stress, making them prone to a host of emotional, physical and relationship problems, including depression, eating disorders, chronic pain syndrome, marital discord and even suicide.

Flett, co-author of several studies on perfectionism, said perfectionists not only hold unrealistically high standards, but also judge themselves or others as always falling short.

"Perfectionism is the need to be - or to appear - perfect," says Flett. "Perfectionists are persistent, detailed and organized high achievers.

"Perfectionists vary in their behaviours: some strive to conceal their imperfections; others attempt to project an image of perfection. But all perfectionists have in common extremely high standards for themselves or for others."

Flett and fellow psychology professor Paul Hewitt of the University of British Columbia, a long-term research collaborator, have developed a 45-item questionnaire to identify the three types of perfectionists: self-oriented (expect perfection of themselves); other-oriented (demand perfection from others); and socially prescribed (think others expect perfection from them).

Called the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale, it is the first personality test that focuses specifically on the trait from a multi-dimensional perspective, Flett said in an interview Tuesday.

The scale was published this week by Toronto-based Multi-Health Systems Inc., which develops and delivers assessment and diagnostic products. It can be used by mental-health professionals, for example, to evaluate a person's level of perfectionism and whether it may be harmful. The scale could also be used by companies to profile potential employees and to steer them into jobs for which they are best-suited.

Flett said perfectionism can usually be traced to childhood and "could be a life-long pattern." In some cases, the trait arises from having a perfectionistic parent, with high expectations of themselves or others.

Today's children are particularly prone to perfectionism, in part because of societal and often parental pressure to be high achievers, he said. "But, of course, being in a culture where you're bombarded with images of the ideal person - whether it's in terms of behaviour or appearance - and picking up on those messages also plays a role."

And the trait can develop early, a 1994 experiment involving 30 preschoolers at a Toronto computer camp showed. The researchers asked the children, aged four and five, questions to try to determine perfectionism levels, then gave the kids a computer task that was rigged to not work.

The highly perfectionistic children identified in the group showed greater signs of extreme distress, such as elevated anger and anxiety, Flett said.

He suggests parents need to reassure children that they are liked or loved for themselves, not because of how well they perform a certain task.

For those who want to abandon perfectionism - recognizing that it's unhealthy - Flett suggests honestly assessing the behaviour and asking: "Is this working for me?"

But he said it's often difficult for perfectionists to change because the very behaviour that can be harmful to health can also "bring about big rewards" because it can lead to life and career accomplishments.

"Everybody acknowledges that nobody's perfect," Flett mused, "but still people are trying to be that one person."

Are you a perfectionist? Gordon Flett, a Toronto psychology professor who specializes in studying perfectionism, has devised a list of telltale signs:

1. You can't stop thinking about a mistake you made.

2. You are intensely competitive and can't stand doing worse than others.

3. You either want to do something "just right" or not at all.

4. You demand perfection from other people.

5. You won't ask for help if asking can be perceived as a flaw or weakness.

6. You will persist at a task long after other people have quit.

7. You are a fault-finder who must correct other people when they are wrong.

8. You are highly aware of other people's demands and expectations.

9. You are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people.

10. You noticed the error in the headline.

Story

Mr. Marks · 06-01-2004, 10:22 PM

I'm not perfect so there's no sense expecting other people to be perfect too.

digifan · 06-01-2004, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by papichulo
I'm not perfect so there's no sense expecting other people to be perfect too.

Good call

pimplink · 06-01-2004, 10:25 PM

You should love and accept everyone including their flaws and handicaps.

Tempest · 06-01-2004, 10:33 PM

Yes I am. I recognise this as a perceived flaw, am working on fixing it and won't stop until I do.

digifan · 06-01-2004, 10:34 PM

And do you love them.. all?

$5 submissions · 06-01-2004, 10:40 PM

nice post

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 10:43 PM

Yeah, I'm a perfectionist. I admit it, dammit. That's a flaw...I'm not perfect....AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

digifan · 06-01-2004, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelPerfect
Yeah, I'm a perfectionist. I admit it, dammit. That's a flaw...I'm not perfect....AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

You don't have to be perfect to be a perfectionist, do you???

baddog · 06-01-2004, 10:46 PM

perfectionist? moi? not hardly . . . I just do the best I can . . . although I do like to put my best foot forward, and if that means I try to make sure my spelling and grammar is correct on an adult bbs, so be it

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
You don't have to be perfect to be a perfectionist, do you???

evidently not. lol

pure energy · 06-01-2004, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
You don't have to be perfect to be a perfectionist, do you???

How can you demand perfection if you're not perfect yourself?

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pure energy
How can you demand perfection if you're not perfect yourself?

Of course I am perfect lol.. it was for Modelperfect

ocho-ocho · 06-01-2004, 11:09 PM

ouch!

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pure energy
How can you demand perfection if you're not perfect yourself?

Ok I tell you how... you are a big company and demand perfection from your employees.. do you have to be perfect?
You are an average webmaster, someone posts a would-you-hit-it pic and you reply: no thanks that girl does nothing for me.

Got me?

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
Of course I am perfect lol.. it was for Modelperfect

*sigh*

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
Ok I tell you how... you are a big company and demand perfection from your employees.. do you have to be perfect?
You are an average webmaster, someone posts a would-you-hit-it pic and you reply: no thanks that girl does nothing for me.

Got me?

Is that perfection or just high standards?

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ocho-ocho
ouch!

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by baddog
perfectionist? moi? not hardly . . . I just do the best I can . . . although I do like to put my best foot forward, and if that means I try to make sure my spelling and grammar is correct on an adult bbs, so be it

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan

ditto

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelPerfect
Is that perfection or just high standards?

Not perfection.. only perfectionalism.

Read the test again please.

Are you a perfectionist? Gordon Flett, a Toronto psychology professor who specializes in studying perfectionism, has devised a list of telltale signs:

1. You can't stop thinking about a mistake you made.

2. You are intensely competitive and can't stand doing worse than others.

3. You either want to do something "just right" or not at all.

4. You demand perfection from other people.

5. You won't ask for help if asking can be perceived as a flaw or weakness.

6. You will persist at a task long after other people have quit.

7. You are a fault-finder who must correct other people when they are wrong.

8. You are highly aware of other people's demands and expectations.

9. You are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people.

10. You noticed the error in the headline.

Aquarius · 06-01-2004, 11:23 PM

Nice reading, I'm not perfectionst, but I like to do my best in everything I do.

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aquarius
Nice reading, I'm not perfectionst, but I like to do my best in everything I do.

Like most honest and hard working people would do... and it makes us human. To err is human.

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
Not perfection.. only perfectionalism.

You are an average webmaster, someone posts a would-you-hit-it pic and you reply: no thanks that girl does nothing for me.

No, I mean is that really perfectionism or are your standards for women simply higher than normal?

...I'm probably 7 out of 10

digifan · 06-01-2004, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelPerfect
No, I mean is that really perfectionism or are your standards for women simply higher than normal?

...I'm probably 7 out of 10

I am female!!! That was meant to be a sample.. oh well. But I am a perfectionist myself I think in a wicked way.. i.e. when things which are beyond me turn for the worse I often blame myself.

ModelPerfect · 06-01-2004, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
I am female!!! That was meant to be a sample.. oh well. But I am a perfectionist myself I think in a wicked way.. i.e. when things which are beyond me turn for the worse I often blame myself.

I know you're female dig...I was talking in generalized terms. i.e. projecting to the masses in 2nd person.

KRL · 06-01-2004, 11:53 PM

Yes. I've tapered it and controlled it much more when I was younger. I still have a hard time finding anyone who can keep up with me so its frustrating cause I end up just handling the task myself so I know it will be done right.

I'm comfortable with it, but I know a lot of people can't deal with perfectionists.

digifan · 06-02-2004, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KRL
Yes. I've tapered it and controlled it much more when I was younger. I still have a hard time finding anyone who can keep up with me so its frustrating cause I end up just handling the task myself so I know it will be done right.

I'm comfortable with it, but I know a lot of people can't deal with perfectionists.

I think successful people are all perfectionists.. you have to be one to achieve your goals.. but it is saomehow similar to stress, a certain amount of it helps, but a huge dose can make you ill or fail.

pure energy · 06-02-2004, 12:19 AM

I know people have flaws and I can deal with that.

ModelPerfect · 06-02-2004, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
I think successful people are all perfectionists.. you have to be one to achieve your goals.. but it is saomehow similar to stress, a certain amount of it helps, but a huge dose can make you ill or fail.

True. Also, the questions in your initial test for perfectionism also suggested egocism. I can't think of anything that will make someone fall harder than ego...

digifan · 06-02-2004, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelPerfect
True. Also, the questions in your initial test for perfectionism also suggested egocism. I can't think of anything that will make someone fall harder than ego...

Ego.. oh yes.. reminds me of this quote by a wise man.
"Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone." ~ Carlos Castaneda

Did we find the root of all evil?

ModelPerfect · 06-02-2004, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
Ego.. oh yes.. reminds me of this quote by a wise man.
"Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone." ~ Carlos Castaneda

Did we find the root of all evil?

Here's another one:
"Practice doesn't make perfect; practice makes permanent...PERFECT practice makes perfect."
Not sure the source, but it's something we say in class a lot.

ModelPerfect · 06-02-2004, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
Ego.. oh yes.. reminds me of this quote by a wise man.
"Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone." ~ Carlos Castaneda

Did we find the root of all evil?

Personally, I think the root to all evil is apathy.

digifan · 06-02-2004, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelPerfect
Personally, I think the root to all evil is apathy.

Hmm.. you made me apathic

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 06-02-2004, 01:41 AM

i know im not, ill take a pic of my room later..its a fucking mess

TheJimmy · 06-02-2004, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by $5 submissions
nice post

pimplink · 06-02-2004, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
i know im not, ill take a pic of my room later..its a fucking mess

Now that I'd like to see!

Goose · 06-02-2004, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ModelPerfect
Here's another one:
"Practice doesn't make perfect; practice makes permanent...PERFECT practice makes perfect."
Not sure the source, but it's something we say in class a lot.

hehe that's hard to follow.

digifan · 06-02-2004, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Goose
hehe that's hard to follow.

I had to read it twice too

chemicaleyes · 06-02-2004, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by $5 submissions
nice post

digifan · 06-02-2004, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chemicaleyes

Thanks

samuel · 06-02-2004, 06:06 PM

haha.. nice article!..

Samuel

Tala · 06-02-2004, 06:44 PM

Uhoh.

Good read, digifan.

And yes, I found the error.

digifan · 06-02-2004, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
Uhoh.

Good read, digifan.

And yes, I found the error.

Of course you did.. you are a writer

Za Ha · 06-02-2004, 07:18 PM

Yes, Im perfect.

Mr-No · 06-02-2004, 07:23 PM

Yes (and if I can say, unfortunatelly), I'm perfectionist...
But, you know what, I'm lazy too... So that is very bad combination

peace

TurboTrucker · 06-02-2004, 07:28 PM

i suream ,i cant stand emperfections

Tala · 06-02-2004, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by digifan
Of course you did.. you are a writer

I'm a perfectionist.

SureFire · 06-02-2004, 08:44 PM

Good read but how do the researches lead back to perfectionist parents?

digifan · 06-02-2004, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SureFire
Good read but how do the researches lead back to perfectionist parents?

Today's children are particularly prone to perfectionism, in part because of societal and often parental pressure to be high achievers.. so the children of perfectionist parents take the highest risk.

06-01-2004, 10:03 PM	#1
digifan The Profiler Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ICQ 76281726 and I'm female Posts: 14,618	Are you a perfectionist? Perfectionists more prone to emotional, physical and relationship problems See test at the end of the article. Tue Jun 1, 5:59 PM ET TORONTO (CP) - Everyone knows the old adage that nobody's perfect. But that doesn't stop a lot of people from being perfectionists - a personality trait that Canadian researchers say can lead to multiple health problems. Gordon Flett, a professor of psychology at Toronto's York University, says perfectionists are under constant stress, making them prone to a host of emotional, physical and relationship problems, including depression, eating disorders, chronic pain syndrome, marital discord and even suicide. Flett, co-author of several studies on perfectionism, said perfectionists not only hold unrealistically high standards, but also judge themselves or others as always falling short. "Perfectionism is the need to be - or to appear - perfect," says Flett. "Perfectionists are persistent, detailed and organized high achievers. "Perfectionists vary in their behaviours: some strive to conceal their imperfections; others attempt to project an image of perfection. But all perfectionists have in common extremely high standards for themselves or for others." Flett and fellow psychology professor Paul Hewitt of the University of British Columbia, a long-term research collaborator, have developed a 45-item questionnaire to identify the three types of perfectionists: self-oriented (expect perfection of themselves); other-oriented (demand perfection from others); and socially prescribed (think others expect perfection from them). Called the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale, it is the first personality test that focuses specifically on the trait from a multi-dimensional perspective, Flett said in an interview Tuesday. The scale was published this week by Toronto-based Multi-Health Systems Inc., which develops and delivers assessment and diagnostic products. It can be used by mental-health professionals, for example, to evaluate a person's level of perfectionism and whether it may be harmful. The scale could also be used by companies to profile potential employees and to steer them into jobs for which they are best-suited. Flett said perfectionism can usually be traced to childhood and "could be a life-long pattern." In some cases, the trait arises from having a perfectionistic parent, with high expectations of themselves or others. Today's children are particularly prone to perfectionism, in part because of societal and often parental pressure to be high achievers, he said. "But, of course, being in a culture where you're bombarded with images of the ideal person - whether it's in terms of behaviour or appearance - and picking up on those messages also plays a role." And the trait can develop early, a 1994 experiment involving 30 preschoolers at a Toronto computer camp showed. The researchers asked the children, aged four and five, questions to try to determine perfectionism levels, then gave the kids a computer task that was rigged to not work. The highly perfectionistic children identified in the group showed greater signs of extreme distress, such as elevated anger and anxiety, Flett said. He suggests parents need to reassure children that they are liked or loved for themselves, not because of how well they perform a certain task. For those who want to abandon perfectionism - recognizing that it's unhealthy - Flett suggests honestly assessing the behaviour and asking: "Is this working for me?" But he said it's often difficult for perfectionists to change because the very behaviour that can be harmful to health can also "bring about big rewards" because it can lead to life and career accomplishments. "Everybody acknowledges that nobody's perfect," Flett mused, "but still people are trying to be that one person." Are you a perfectionist? Gordon Flett, a Toronto psychology professor who specializes in studying perfectionism, has devised a list of telltale signs: 1. You can't stop thinking about a mistake you made. 2. You are intensely competitive and can't stand doing worse than others. 3. You either want to do something "just right" or not at all. 4. You demand perfection from other people. 5. You won't ask for help if asking can be perceived as a flaw or weakness. 6. You will persist at a task long after other people have quit. 7. You are a fault-finder who must correct other people when they are wrong. 8. You are highly aware of other people's demands and expectations. 9. You are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people. 10. You noticed the error in the headline. Story __________________ [email protected] Webair Rocks

06-01-2004, 10:25 PM	#4
pimplink Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Closer than you think Posts: 9,535	You should love and accept everyone including their flaws and handicaps. __________________ Need Mainstream Content and SEO? SEO * Website Copy * Blogs Blogging - PR Work - Forum Marketing - Social Marketing - Link building - Articles 100% Guaranteed Content!

06-01-2004, 10:34 PM	#6
digifan The Profiler Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ICQ 76281726 and I'm female Posts: 14,618	And do you love them.. all? __________________ [email protected] Webair Rocks

06-01-2004, 10:40 PM	#7
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	nice post __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

06-01-2004, 10:43 PM	#8
ModelPerfect Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: USA Posts: 2,862	Yeah, I'm a perfectionist. I admit it, dammit. That's a flaw...I'm not perfect....AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 __________________ Logan modelperfect [at] gmail.com http://www.modelperfect.com (Proudly hosted at www.webair.com )

06-01-2004, 10:22 PM	#2
Mr. Marks Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Wherever I want Posts: 7,517	I'm not perfect so there's no sense expecting other people to be perfect too.

06-01-2004, 10:33 PM	#5
Tempest Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: West Coast, Canada. Posts: 10,217	Yes I am. I recognise this as a perceived flaw, am working on fixing it and won't stop until I do.

06-01-2004, 10:46 PM	#10
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	perfectionist? moi? not hardly . . . I just do the best I can . . . although I do like to put my best foot forward, and if that means I try to make sure my spelling and grammar is correct on an adult bbs, so be it

06-01-2004, 11:09 PM	#14
ocho-ocho Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,769	ouch! __________________ ____________________________ under construction

06-01-2004, 11:23 PM	#22
Aquarius Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mom's basement Posts: 4,754	Nice reading, I'm not perfectionst, but I like to do my best in everything I do.

06-01-2004, 11:53 PM	#27
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	Yes. I've tapered it and controlled it much more when I was younger. I still have a hard time finding anyone who can keep up with me so its frustrating cause I end up just handling the task myself so I know it will be done right. I'm comfortable with it, but I know a lot of people can't deal with perfectionists. __________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

06-02-2004, 12:19 AM	#29
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06-02-2004, 01:41 AM	#35
Jeff aka NIGHTfall Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida Posts: 5,162	i know im not, ill take a pic of my room later..its a fucking mess __________________ Register Now For PimpinPays.com

06-02-2004, 06:06 PM	#42
samuel Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: email address Posts: 1,986	haha.. nice article!.. Samuel

06-02-2004, 06:44 PM	#43
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Uhoh. Good read, digifan. And yes, I found the error. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

06-02-2004, 07:18 PM	#45
Za Ha Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Still lost Posts: 5,112	Yes, Im perfect.

06-02-2004, 07:23 PM	#46
Mr-No Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Budapest, Hungary Posts: 698	Yes (and if I can say, unfortunatelly), I'm perfectionist... But, you know what, I'm lazy too... So that is very bad combination peace __________________ Mike's Content - High Quality Exclusive/Custom Content! Hottest Hungarian and Czech Girls ICQ# 162531169 _-_or_-_ mike[at]mikescontent.com

06-02-2004, 07:28 PM	#47
TurboTrucker Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Phoenix Arizona Posts: 2,363	i suream ,i cant stand emperfections __________________

06-02-2004, 08:44 PM	#49
SureFire Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: internet Posts: 4,398	Good read but how do the researches lead back to perfectionist parents?