17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists by Michael Moore - GoFuckYourself.com

abyss_al · 11-07-2004, 02:27 PM

17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists... by Michael Moore

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, ?always look on the bright side of life!? There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don?t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan State.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore
[email protected]
www.michaelmoore.com

minimouse · 11-07-2004, 02:34 PM

Good read

Doctor Dre · 11-07-2004, 02:34 PM

Already been posted

Gheenz · 11-07-2004, 02:35 PM

Here, Here!!!

xclusive · 11-07-2004, 02:35 PM

Already been posted but still a good read...

Alex · 11-07-2004, 02:36 PM

A bit too late for the guy that blew his brains out by Ground Zero

Pete · 11-07-2004, 02:37 PM

Some very good points

Head · 11-07-2004, 02:45 PM

abyss_al · 11-07-2004, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pete
Some very good points

yeah

Twe Russ · 11-07-2004, 04:06 PM

detoxed · 11-07-2004, 04:06 PM

Written with the help of 5 cheeseburgers and some cheese fries.

Furious_Male · 11-07-2004, 04:18 PM

Through the fluff their is a lot of truths in there.

Peter Romero · 11-07-2004, 04:20 PM

funny

ronbotx · 11-07-2004, 05:19 PM

Mikey:

Doesn't it bother you that your propaganda film did not influence the American voters? Just the weak-minded lefties on GFY who actually think its a documentary.

Why is it that every candidate you endorse LOSES????
(Nader, Jerry Brown, Weasley Clark, Kerry)

Who is the L O S E R now Mikey?

Davey911 · 11-07-2004, 05:39 PM

Bush takes care of all...

Red Ezra · 11-07-2004, 06:52 PM

I think we need to keep track of how many vacation days Bush takes this four years - I have a feeling he is going to be taking a lot of them. I am glad Moore is out there keeping tabs and keeping the faith - no use in crying - it's a done deal now.

Spunky · 11-07-2004, 06:53 PM

Gotta admit he is funny

Alltopnotch · 11-07-2004, 06:57 PM

people are takin the damn republican/democrat thing too far...gonna end up in an actual civil war some day lol...left vs right...

tony286 · 11-07-2004, 07:07 PM

very good stuff

TurboTrucker · 11-07-2004, 07:21 PM

Go ahead and do it anyway. http://cnn.aimtoday.cnn.com/news/sto...80.htm&sc=1110

reynold · 11-08-2004, 01:37 PM

SOmebody posted that one day ago.

Manowar · 11-08-2004, 01:45 PM

very interesting read, i hope we do get a change in 2008

Michaelious · 11-08-2004, 02:40 PM

Very funny and true

11-07-2004, 02:34 PM	#2
minimouse Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Home Posts: 1,493	Good read __________________ Dead

11-07-2004, 02:35 PM	#4
Gheenz Here's Your Sign Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: MT, USA Posts: 2,410	Here, Here!!! __________________ Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

11-07-2004, 02:35 PM	#5
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	Already been posted but still a good read... __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

11-07-2004, 02:36 PM	#6
Alex So Fucking Banned (YEA!!) Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 10,963	A bit too late for the guy that blew his brains out by Ground Zero __________________ Care about me? Who? Me! Who?

11-07-2004, 02:37 PM	#7
Pete Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood Posts: 6,617	Some very good points __________________ Evoke Electronics

11-07-2004, 02:27 PM	#1
abyss_al LOOKING FOR TRADES Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 15,605	17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists by Michael Moore 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists... by Michael Moore Dear Friends, Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, ?always look on the bright side of life!? There IS some good news from Tuesday's election. Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists: 1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again. 2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916. 3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them. 4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don?t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.) 5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one. 6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes! 7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan State. 8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age. 9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now. 10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't. 11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up! 12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away. 13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided. 14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass. 15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office. 16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!! 17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008. Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'" But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow. Yours, Michael Moore [email protected] www.michaelmoore.com __________________ EMAIL: allen @ vasmediagroup.com \| ICQ: 311329761 \| SKYPE: abyss.al \| AIM: xABYSSxALx

11-07-2004, 02:45 PM	#8
Head Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Starship Enterprise Posts: 8,278	__________________

11-07-2004, 04:06 PM	#10
Twe Russ Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 3,493	__________________ Contact information - ICQ: 7.9.0.3.0.0 · AIM: no roach · E-Mail: roachito \|\| @ \|\| gmail \|\| . \|\| com [Friend Finder - Geo Targeting & Incredible Site Ratio] - [Credit Card Traffic - Make $65 Per Join]

11-07-2004, 04:06 PM	#11
detoxed vip member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 17,798	Written with the help of 5 cheeseburgers and some cheese fries.

11-07-2004, 04:18 PM	#12
Furious_Male Doing the grind since 99 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Buffalo NY Posts: 16,881	Through the fluff their is a lot of truths in there. __________________ Living in Virtual Reality Contact: Email (preferred): furiousmale .at. gmail - Skype: live:shanedws

11-07-2004, 04:20 PM	#13
Peter Romero Long time no happy ending Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: San Diego CA Posts: 10,578	funny __________________ POVCash [email protected] See them all here: http://www.Petergirls.com

11-07-2004, 05:19 PM	#14
ronbotx Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,634	Mikey: Doesn't it bother you that your propaganda film did not influence the American voters? Just the weak-minded lefties on GFY who actually think its a documentary. Why is it that every candidate you endorse LOSES???? (Nader, Jerry Brown, Weasley Clark, Kerry) Who is the L O S E R now Mikey? Last edited by ronbotx; 11-07-2004 at 05:24 PM..

11-07-2004, 05:39 PM	#15
Davey911 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 89	Bush takes care of all... __________________ Need a trusted sponsor? Maybe Topbucks is your solution...

11-07-2004, 06:52 PM	#16
Red Ezra redezra.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: Vegas Baby! Posts: 4,680	I think we need to keep track of how many vacation days Bush takes this four years - I have a feeling he is going to be taking a lot of them. I am glad Moore is out there keeping tabs and keeping the faith - no use in crying - it's a done deal now.

11-07-2004, 06:53 PM	#17
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	Gotta admit he is funny __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

11-07-2004, 06:57 PM	#18
Alltopnotch Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Oakland Posts: 2,845	people are takin the damn republican/democrat thing too far...gonna end up in an actual civil war some day lol...left vs right... __________________ WANT A FREE LAPTOP?

11-07-2004, 07:07 PM	#19
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	very good stuff

11-07-2004, 07:21 PM	#20
TurboTrucker Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Phoenix Arizona Posts: 2,363	Go ahead and do it anyway. http://cnn.aimtoday.cnn.com/news/sto...80.htm&sc=1110 __________________

11-08-2004, 01:37 PM	#21
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	SOmebody posted that one day ago.

11-08-2004, 01:45 PM	#22
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	very interesting read, i hope we do get a change in 2008

11-08-2004, 02:40 PM	#23
Michaelious Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 6,720	Very funny and true __________________