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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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Thread Tools |
08-09-2001, 10:45 PM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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I just wanna be happy....
I just wanna be happy in life... I think I'll move to Maui and sell coconuts to dumb tourists for $29.95...
But then I realize... My coconut business will grow, and I'll have to hire more coconut pickers to keep up with the coconut demand... then I'll have to hire a coconut marketing guy to help sell all the extra coconuts, and then he'll bring in too much coconut business, so I'll have to get extra coconut affiliates to help me distribute all the coconuts... we'd have to launch a payout program called COCONUTCASH... maybe give away a car or something for every 200 coconut affiliates.... Pretty soon I'll be going to coconut conventions, hoping to hook up with some other cool coconut vendors... then I'll want to host the coconut parties at the coconut conventions... and I'll need even more coconut pushing people to help with that.... Then I'll find out that a bigger coconut company is using my best looking coconut to promote their own shitty coconut marketing biz.... They'll offer to send people over to buy my coconuts, but only if I give them 35 dollars for every $4.95 coconut sampler sale... Our coconuts will be so popular that everyone will want to buy wholesale coconuts, and for that we'll have to start COCONUT CONTENT... and then start monitoring for unlicensed use of our coconuts... I'll end up spending all my time checking my coconut stats, and looking for ways to automate the whole cococut picking and distribution process, and complaining about goddamn tourists who only want free friggin' coconuts... Fuck it... I'll never be happy...  Lightspeed [This message has been edited by Lightspeed (edited 08-10-2001).] |
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08-09-2001, 10:48 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oregun
Posts: 4,396
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Too funny man!
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08-09-2001, 11:00 PM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Oh yeah, I almost forgot -- just writing "Maui" on the side of the coconuts won't sell them fast enough, so I'll have to hire a 6'9" graphics guy to moonlight some hip "Maui coconut" graphics for me, and maybe a short red-haired dirty-minded coconut writer to spice up our dull coconut ads... then i'll be telling everyone about it all on a cool coconut message board... i could go on, but i'm out of weed...
Maybe I'll move to Thailand and sell bananas instead.... ------------------ "Race to the bank with LightspeedCash!" |
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08-09-2001, 11:04 PM
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#4 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2001
Location: ICQ: 25285313
Posts: 993
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I think he just did a photoshoot and all the testosterone is going to his head..
Lightspeed, go get some nookie from the wife. It's what you pay her for afterall. -Phil |
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08-09-2001, 11:08 PM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 474
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Could you please be silent while I announce Coconut2 ?
 ------------------ http://www.sponsorreport.com - Maximize your Cash using the Smart Method ! |
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08-09-2001, 11:43 PM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: LV Nev
Posts: 467
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Sure you haven't been drinking any Kahlua bro?
------------------ http://www.lostbush.com/sub.html High conversion Cheerleader Fetish |
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08-09-2001, 11:58 PM
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Outback of bumfuck Aussie
Posts: 5,096
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HHHmmmm I seen to be selling allot of coconuts just lately.
------------------  My name is Mick, I'm Hung Down Under, So Grab Your Ankles, And Feel The Thunder Talk to Bake 77762980 If you need it Bake has it. |
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08-10-2001, 02:13 AM
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#8 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.thefly.net/ --- Quit your job and live off steady traffic.
Posts: 11,856
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Hmmm...
you know you could poke a hole in the coconut and poke-a-nut... or you could ship a coconut to me and I could co-lo-conut... ehehe... damn. Hey I just found out that that the $300 tax break is coming out of our taxes next year -- so we all owe an extra $300 more now for 2001 -- cool eh? They call it the "re-bate and switch" technique. ------------------  ...from the nectar of the Bone flows all that clicks... |
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08-10-2001, 02:19 AM
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#9 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Closer than you think
Posts: 9,535
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Heheheh funny version of the "fisherman" chain letter.
Quote:
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08-10-2001, 02:28 AM
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Living Off The Grid
Posts: 3,022
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oh what a lovely bunch of coconuts
and then those voices returned, "dude over here, pakalolo, BUDS, elephant ear, maui wowie" the funny part of all this is that i had a friend in Hawaii that did just that, sold painted coconuts to tourists but her specialty was miniature paintings on finger or toe nails she got high one evening with that guy who starred on Grizzly Adams and painted grizzly bears on his big toe and mistletoe on the other toes (it was x-mas) but then again, i could be a pathological liar  |
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08-10-2001, 03:56 AM
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#11 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,330
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Lightspeed, Did you ever meet your nighbour yet, the one that signed up for your affiliate program, or scared them and asked to borrow their internet service while they were making porn? That was pretty funny |
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08-10-2001, 09:11 AM
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#12 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Quote:
Not yet, I'm waiting to see how much traffic she sends before I mess with her... LS |
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08-10-2001, 09:12 AM
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#13 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Cant Remember
Posts: 97
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Great idea man.
I wonder what the convertion ratios of those coconuts would be... ------------------ I'm new so go easy on me. |
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08-10-2001, 09:16 AM
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#14 |
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Looking California
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 5,476
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Hey Steve,
Can I just grab some coconuts from you? ------------------ The All NEW www.PythonVideo.com Portal Page www.pythonpays.com www.dollarmachine.com www.naughtymail.com www.awesomecontent.com |
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08-10-2001, 09:17 AM
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#15 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Quote:
LS ------------------ "Race to the bank with LightspeedCash!" |
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08-10-2001, 09:26 AM
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#16 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Quote:
[This message has been edited by Lightspeed (edited 08-10-2001).] |
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08-10-2001, 09:34 AM
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#17 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: bellevue,wa 98007
Posts: 672
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hehehe
That is so fucking true... You are so ambitious... that's very sexy ------------------ Tracy ;) Fantasy Content http://www.fantasycontent.com |
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08-10-2001, 10:02 AM
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#18 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 328
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Anyone know where I can score some fresh hot coconut content for my new "Barely Picked Coconuts"?
------------------ It's all good. |
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08-10-2001, 10:09 AM
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#19 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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I think barely picked coconuts are good, but I've heard granny, fatty, and tranny cocounuts are selling like mad... Of course, I don't have the stomach to pick those coconuts...
LS |
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08-10-2001, 10:22 AM
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#20 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 328
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We've got plenty of grass huts for you all to sell your coconuts from, with a redundant shack across town. 8 feet of table space, and only $2.00 per pound per month!
------------------ It's all good. |
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08-10-2001, 11:28 AM
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#21 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Its so hard to find good coconut models, they all seem to be into pineapples these days..
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08-10-2001, 03:06 PM
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#22 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: The Sea Town
Posts: 1,357
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Kewl...
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02-16-2002, 03:53 PM
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#23 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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__________________
Abra-cadabra! |
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02-16-2002, 04:02 PM
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#24 |
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aka K-Man
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Gutter
Posts: 29,290
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what's funny is that just proves that our business model can work with just about any product or service, just variablize the widgets =-)
__________________
Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor |
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02-16-2002, 04:02 PM
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#25 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Top Secret Hideout
Posts: 2,508
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So wait....this has nothing to do with the fact that everytime I hang with the LS crew and someone spots a girl with nice tits Lightspeed himself goes all cross eyed and shouts 'Nice coconuts!"
Damn I had this all wrong from the start.
__________________
One thing, I forgot this last detail: the Biz Markie will always prevail. |
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10-24-2002, 06:29 PM
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#26 |
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There can be only one
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Somewhere else
Posts: 39,075
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oh the irony....
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SIG TOO BIG |
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12-13-2003, 03:38 PM
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#27 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Since we're calling up old favorites today....
When I wrote this, i didn't realize how true it would all really become! Steve Lightspeed
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Abra-cadabra! |
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12-13-2003, 04:06 PM
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#28 | |
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Pounding Googlebot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 34,461
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Quote:
__________________
I play with Google. |
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12-25-2004, 03:26 PM
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#29 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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A Christmas classic!
__________________
Abra-cadabra! |
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12-25-2004, 03:32 PM
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#30 | |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: the beach, SoCal
Posts: 107,089
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Quote:
First time I read it, but pretty good how you came up with that. |
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12-25-2004, 03:40 PM
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#31 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: SAMMYSMACK.com
Posts: 1,844
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Very Cute. If you need any extra "coconuts" I can let you borrow mine for a bit... but I need them back. ;) lol
__________________
 Sammy4u.com Winner - Best Individual Performer Site! POTD blog plug in | GeoIP & Custom Text Fansigns Hosted Blog, POTD, TGP, MGP, and Freesites |
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12-25-2004, 03:47 PM
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#32 |
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I can change this!!!!!
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 18,972
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most people will never be happy dont feel bad
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12-25-2004, 03:50 PM
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#33 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,288
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it's funn,y but its a sort of morbid truth that the human being incompesses...The need to constantly improve and evolve, and that little overused term called greed.
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12-25-2004, 03:50 PM
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#34 |
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I'm here for SPORT
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696
Posts: 41,470
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I'd give coconut cash a free listing if that would make you happy - if only for a moment....
__________________
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog. |
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12-25-2004, 04:42 PM
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#35 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Porn Valley
Posts: 2,284
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Quote:
Thats a fishy story Steve, happy holls.  |
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12-25-2004, 05:06 PM
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#36 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: CO
Posts: 1,844
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Quote:
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12-25-2004, 06:27 PM
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#37 |
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FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: FUBARLAND
Posts: 67,374
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see you next year
__________________
 FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com |
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12-25-2004, 08:17 PM
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#38 |
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Drunk and Unruly
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 22,712
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I see the search has returned! Nice post Steve.
__________________
I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches. |
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12-25-2004, 08:25 PM
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#39 |
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First African GFY Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 12,114
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A very interestign coconut story.
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12-25-2004, 08:30 PM
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#40 | |
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Fucked if I know
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Do you have a flag?
Posts: 23,368
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Quote:
__________________
 ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you. |
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