TruckStopProductions

No matter how scandalous the charges, they just can't seem to put out the wild flames of lust and desire up in Sac Town baby.

One Sacramento City Fire Department firefighter has resigned and three others have been sent termination letters after a group sex scandal that did not in any way involve porn stars but which was centered at times around an event entitled the PORN STAR BALL. It also did not involve string cheese or ponchos or guys named Burt with funny mustaches. It may or may not have involved the consumption of copious amounts of hot nacho cheese off of writhing lesbian bodies, but for now prosecution has sealed those kinds of tawdry details and the press is tight lipped in an attempt to ruin your masturbation fantasies altogether.

Five weeks ago, firefighters were accused of having consensual sex at Station No. 12. The investigation began after Chief Joe Cherry heard rumors that firefighters from the station were having sex on duty. Officials said evidence was later found to substantiate those rumors. One can only assume how uptight Chief "never had my Cherry busted" Cherry must be to ruin the lives and careers of some hard fucking working men and women who put their lives on the line to serve the community for blue collar wages over the most harmless thing in the world. It's not like they missed calls or neglected doing the job they were hired for. They simply let he inner freak on a leash out every fucking chance they got. Plus those fireman poles are just a bachannal orgy fest waiting to happen if you ask me. You did ask right?

Investigators said they believe the firefighters -- three men and one woman -- had been engaging in sexual activity for many months. The sexual activity was consensual and much of it happened at the station, but did not affect any calls for service and did not involve any members of the public, officials have said. Investigators also alluded to the fact that since they were not allowed to slap the donkey to painted ladies of the night on working hours they did not feel that anyone else should be either, and that they loved embarrassing the department over issues like this, publicly.

On Tuesday, Cherry confirmed the recommended penalties.

"Just bringing discredit upon the fire department may be very well be cause for termination," Cherry said. "And there isn't anybody in this community that can't understand that after what we went through last time. Certainly, the activity brought discredit upon this fine fire department." Cherry is bucking for the all time boner of the year award, No Cal, and is well on his way to achieving that goal, not to mention he will most likely get his house egged this weekend in the midnight hour. Ahhh...sweet revenge.

Intent to terminate letters went to Capt. Thomas Debartoli (pictured, right), firefighter Doug Boan and firefighter Robby Cowan. Debartoli spent 15 years with the department; Boan was a 9-year veteran; and Cowan was there for five years.

The female firefighter, Krista Duval, resigned before getting her letter. She was a 10-year fire veteran.

Once the intent to terminate letters are sent, the firefighters are placed on administrative leave with full salary and benefits, which is about the only decent news I have heard in this story, with or without my looting.

"We cannot, in any way, take away any or reduce any benefits away from them until they've been guaranteed all their due-process protections," said Sacramento Labor Relations spokeswoman Dee Contreras.

Firefighters, as public employees, have extensive employment rights. First comes a mandatory review called the Skelly process. After that, a city employee can demand a full administrative review, which can take months. One can only hope by that point that perhaps Chief "please pop my" Cherry might have found a way to remove the large stick from his own ass and found his soul.

Until then, the rest of us can dream of what those gang bang sessions on the lone firewoman might have looked like. I still think they should just blame Wicked's FLASHPOINT.