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Old 04-12-2005, 08:18 PM   #1
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Teen Accused of Raping His Sisters With Carrots!!! [WTF?!?!]

By ALAN O' LEARY, Times Staff Writer
Published April 12, 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Evanstown Middle School student was arrested on Monday and charged with rape and attempted rape with a produce item. The teen is accused of raping his sisters and sisters' friends with carrots. The teen's parents could not be reached for comment but neighbors say that they're in shock over the incident.

"He would bring carrots to school functions and people started calling him Bugs [after Warner Brothers Character Bugs Bunny] after a while. I think he took it too personal." said an unidentified friend.

The teen is reportidly at home after his family posted a $50,000 bond to get him out of a Sufexex County Jail. He is prohibited to be in the same house as his sisters until the conclusion of the trial. The judge has also forbid him to visit local grocery stores without parental or adult supervision. Flyers have been printed and circulated to local grocers that inform the grocer not to sell produce to this young man.


See tomorrow's Times for the full report.


WTF!?!?!
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:20 PM   #2
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Ohboy.

There goes his entire life. Holy shit.
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:23 PM   #3
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Geezus sounds like AM Jeff all over again.
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:23 PM   #4
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Like I stated in another post about the kid stealing the corps head, "this country is in serious fucking trouble!"
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:23 PM   #5
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thats off the chain
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:25 PM   #6
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Bugs for life!
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:25 PM   #7
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link?...?
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:27 PM   #8
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What the fuck is wrong with kids these days?

Back in my day, we used to use cucumbers.
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:27 PM   #9
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Atleast they weren't english cuccumbers
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:31 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Paraskass
link?...?
Can't post a link because I made it up. I wrote that fake story and it's funny that someone will tell the same story tomorrow about the boy fucking his sisters with carrots. The power of persuasion.

That's what we do, we sell fantasy.
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:55 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by HighOnAcid
Can't post a link because I made it up. I wrote that fake story and it's funny that someone will tell the same story tomorrow about the boy fucking his sisters with carrots. The power of persuasion.

That's what we do, we sell fantasy.
lol...yeah and you almost got me there!!
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Old 04-12-2005, 10:41 PM   #12
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Flyers have been printed and circulated to local grocers that inform the grocer not to sell produce to this young man.

Tomorrow's Times, eh?
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Old 04-12-2005, 11:10 PM   #13
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hmm...wonder if theres pics....
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Old 04-12-2005, 11:14 PM   #14
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Why's sis gotta be a playa hater?
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Old 04-12-2005, 11:20 PM   #15
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ewww. wtf?
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Old 04-12-2005, 11:36 PM   #16
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what's up doc?
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Old 04-13-2005, 01:05 AM   #17
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haha wtf... kids these days.
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Old 04-13-2005, 01:24 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by HighOnAcid
Can't post a link because I made it up. I wrote that fake story and it's funny that someone will tell the same story tomorrow about the boy fucking his sisters with carrots. The power of persuasion.

That's what we do, we sell fantasy.
the scariest thing is most of us wouldn't be surprised if this had happened for real. People are sick nowadays
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Old 04-13-2005, 04:05 AM   #19
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Can't post a link because I made it up. I wrote that fake story and it's funny that someone will tell the same story tomorrow about the boy fucking his sisters with carrots. The power of persuasion.

That's what we do, we sell fantasy.
You got me
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Old 04-13-2005, 04:14 AM   #20
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The judge has also forbid him to visit local grocery stores without parental or adult supervision.
yeah - like grocery are the reason for raping others
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Old 04-13-2005, 04:17 AM   #21
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Why carrots?
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Old 04-13-2005, 04:22 AM   #22
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what the... what ahppened to her morals?
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:52 AM   #23
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What's up, Doc!
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:53 AM   #24
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Ohboy.

There goes his entire life. Holy shit.

he'll be on GFY before too long... watch

lol
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:21 AM   #25
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Are we taking bets on how many more post before reading the thread?
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:26 AM   #26
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Thats a new one.
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:28 AM   #27
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Are we taking bets on how many more post before reading the thread?
reading threads is for shmucks, drive by posting is the way to go
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:28 AM   #28
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Like I stated in another post about the kid stealing the corps head, "this country is in serious fucking trouble!"
It was in serious trouble way before that. But it sure is fucked up.
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:32 AM   #29
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Atleast they weren't english cuccumbers

Diddo - that is sick, but could have been worse.
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:35 AM   #30
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man what the fuck is wrong with kids these days
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:36 AM   #31
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man what the fuck is wrong with kids these days
What's wrong with the society in general is a better question.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:27 AM   #32
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what's wrong with gfy, that most people don't even ready the thread before answering is an even better question
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:28 AM   #33
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LOL only hardcore news today on gfy
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:32 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by pradaboy
the scariest thing is most of us wouldn't be surprised if this had happened for real. People are sick nowadays
Very true. As fucked up and sad as that is, it's very true.

Well written, HOA. Ya got me.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:32 AM   #35
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damn thats fukced up
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:32 AM   #36
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Are we taking bets on how many more post before reading the thread?
I'd say it makes page 2.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:39 AM   #37
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Can't post a link because I made it up. I wrote that fake story and it's funny that someone will tell the same story tomorrow about the boy fucking his sisters with carrots. The power of persuasion.

That's what we do, we sell fantasy.
well obviously it was fake. there is an obvious spelling error. lol
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:41 AM   #38
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well obviously it was fake. there is an obvious spelling error. lol
My bad grammer is whut loste me my job at tha New York Tims.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:41 AM   #39
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well obviously it was fake. there is an obvious spelling error. lol
Spelling errors don't usually matter anymore, sadly. Ever tried to read a Sunday Tennessean?
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:58 AM   #40
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Damn, you got me

I even skimmed the thread before I replid, but must've missed your post
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Old 04-13-2005, 08:55 AM   #41
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Nice !! what an asshole I cant believe he do this to her sister, funny shit though. Well carrots will do better than cucumbers I think!!!
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:13 AM   #42
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If there is any consolation, at least the carrots imrpoved the girl's eye sight so that now they will more easily be able to identify the perpetrator at the trial. This is important since Bugs supposedly ate most of the evidence.

Just be glad that Yosemite Sam, Wile E Coyote or the Taz (Tasmanian Devil) wasn't his role model.

As the "real" Bugs once said...

"So long, screwy, see you in St. Louis!"

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(btw, yes I read the entire thread...I'm just easily amused)
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:15 AM   #43
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This is pretty fucked up. What is causing this violence, TV, Movies, Video Games? Nobody did shit like this when we were kids.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:15 AM   #44
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Nice !! what an asshole I cant believe he do this to her sister, funny shit though.
Even if it were true it's not funny you find it funny
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:17 AM   #45
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This is pretty fucked up. What is causing this violence, TV, Movies, Video Games? Nobody did shit like this when we were kids.
Wonder if it would make any difference if the only Reply button was the one at the bottom of the page?
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:23 AM   #46
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Wonder if it would make any difference if the only Reply button was the one at the bottom of the page?

lol..worth a try, huh?
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:24 AM   #47
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so its true you invented the history?
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:28 AM   #48
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Nice story, now some newbie is going to try and act it out.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:39 AM   #49
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so its true you invented the history?
Not the history but I did invent the story. I do stupid shit when I'm bored.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:40 AM   #50
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