Shit happens : A Few Words of Wisdom - GoFuckYourself.com

the real magoo · 06-10-2005, 01:43 PM

Just a few words of wisdom that I would like to share with you guys

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening

Taoism: Shit happens
Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens"
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit
Zen: Whai is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before

Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist
Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it
Mysticism: Just experience shit happening
Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it
Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens

Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you
Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it
Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist
Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere
Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens
Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen

Cynicism: Of course shit happens
Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence
Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say
Pollyanism: It's so nice that shit happens!
Puritanism: S** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that

Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen
Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault
Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes
Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks
Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it

Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently
Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it
Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody
Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone
Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it

Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit
Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly
Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases
Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms
Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen

Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK
Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening
Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally
Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit
Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to

Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow
Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around
Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when
Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons
Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once

Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version
Computer Science: All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine
Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity
Engineering: When shit happens, paint over
Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning

Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it
Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it
Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen

Sly · 06-10-2005, 01:46 PM

That is actually pretty damn funny.

DesignWise · 06-10-2005, 01:49 PM

hahaha... funny shit!

FilthyRob · 06-10-2005, 01:50 PM

that's fucking awesome. I am gonna print that and pass it around tonite at the bowling alley

LittleSassy · 06-10-2005, 02:03 PM

good ones...

06-10-2005, 01:49 PM	#3
DesignWise Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Center of the Sun Posts: 3,575	hahaha... funny shit! __________________ www.highendcreatives.com Galleries that sells.. . ICQ: 294696371

06-10-2005, 01:50 PM	#4
FilthyRob Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Anaheim - CA Posts: 6,741	that's fucking awesome. I am gonna print that and pass it around tonite at the bowling alley __________________ AKA - Clubsexy

06-10-2005, 02:03 PM	#5
LittleSassy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: behind you Posts: 7,402	good ones... __________________ Proadultoutsourcing.com ~ version 2.0 OFFSHORE SOLUTIONS PROVIDER SINCE 2003 ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE 264-580-554

06-10-2005, 01:43 PM	#1
the real magoo So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: EU Posts: 1,637	Shit happens : A Few Words of Wisdom Just a few words of wisdom that I would like to share with you guys Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening Taoism: Shit happens Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens" Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit Zen: Whai is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it Mysticism: Just experience shit happening Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen Cynicism: Of course shit happens Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say Pollyanism: It's so nice that shit happens! Puritanism: S can happen all day as long as you don't call it that Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version Computer Science: All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity Engineering: When shit happens, paint over Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it Diplomacy*: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen Last edited by the real magoo; 06-10-2005 at 01:45 PM..*

06-10-2005, 01:46 PM	#2
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,329	That is actually pretty damn funny. __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Click here for more details.