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Old 10-25-2005, 02:44 PM   #1
CuriousToyBoy
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:stoned Relationships Suck.

Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.


Your EX-Wife

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!




......And The Saga Continues.....




Dear Ex-Wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.

Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

Even after all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.


Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

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Old 10-25-2005, 02:45 PM   #2
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they will suck if you let them.
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Old 10-25-2005, 02:49 PM   #3
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That's classic. Funny stuff.
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Old 10-25-2005, 02:51 PM   #4
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very funny
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:02 PM   #5
wdsguy
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oh man funny as hell hahaha
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:04 PM   #6
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i <3 my gf!
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:07 PM   #7
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haha i got a good laugh out of that one.
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:09 PM   #8
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Thats Karma!
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:10 PM   #9
Rob
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Reminds me of the guy who won the lotto and rushed home. He came into the house screaming..."I WON THE LOTTO! I WON THE LOTTO! HURRY UP AND PACK!!!"

The wife runs down the stairs and says, "That's great! What should I pack for? Warm, tropical weather or cold North European weather?"

And the guy replies, "I don't give a shit. Just pack up and get the fuck out!"
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:18 PM   #10
u-Bob
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funny
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:22 PM   #11
Marcus Aurelius
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob
Reminds me of the guy who won the lotto and rushed home. He came into the house screaming..."I WON THE LOTTO! I WON THE LOTTO! HURRY UP AND PACK!!!"

The wife runs down the stairs and says, "That's great! What should I pack for? Warm, tropical weather or cold North European weather?"

And the guy replies, "I don't give a shit. Just pack up and get the fuck out!"


Hell yeah. I remember that shit, but dont remember where I heard it.
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Old 10-25-2005, 04:07 PM   #12
Redrob
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Relationships can be challenging.....been married 24 years and I can still hear her over the TV...
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Old 10-25-2005, 05:25 PM   #13
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wow that musta hurt BAD!! lmao...2 weeks??
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Old 10-25-2005, 08:44 PM   #14
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That definitely sucks for that cheating wife!!! The husband still got enough luck on his hand.
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Old 10-26-2005, 06:16 AM   #15
reed_4
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I've already sent that to my friend's emails.
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Old 10-26-2005, 06:27 AM   #16
CuriousToyBoy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redrob
Relationships can be challenging.....been married 24 years and I can still hear her over the TV...
I have but 2 words of advice for you my friend .....
















HOME THEATRE.

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Old 10-26-2005, 06:29 AM   #17
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Great stuff lol.
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