Are you a REAL BADASS? - GoFuckYourself.com

$5 submissions · 12-01-2005, 01:15 PM

Interesting new sport 'trend' -- mixing brawns with brains = CHESS BOXING

From: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...home-headlines

BERLIN ? Martin "Amok" Thomas is jabbing a right, but Frank "so-cool-he-doesn't-need-a-nickname" Stoldt is as elusive as a ribbon in the wind. He can't be hit.

Time.

The gloves come off, and the men hurry across the canvas to the chessboard. (You heard it right.) Amok took a couple of body shots, and he's breathing hard, but he'd better focus. That Stoldt, though, everyone in the gym knows he's this warrior-thinker, slamming the speed clock, cunningly moving his queen amid unraveling bandages and dripping sweat, daring Amok to leave him a sliver of opportunity.

Time.

Velcro rips. Amok slides back into his Everlast gloves, bites down on his mouthpiece, dances along the ropes. His king's in trouble, and his punches couldn't knock lint off a jacket. Stoldt floats toward him like a cloud of big hurt.

Such is the bewildering beauty of chessboxing, alternating rounds of four minutes of chess followed by two minutes of boxing. Victory is claimed in a number of ways, some of them tedious, but the most thrilling are by checkmate and knockout.

The sport's godfather, Iepe "the Joker" Rubingh, believes that chessboxing, like that contest in which frostbitten Scandinavians ski around with rifles, is destined for the Olympics.

"It has enormous potential," says the Joker, 31, a taut Dutchman with an undamaged chin and wire-rimmed glasses. "Chess and boxing are very different worlds. Chessboxers move around in both. It's extremely demanding, but extremely rewarding. It's all about control over your physical and mental being. The adrenalin rush in boxing must be lowered to concentrate on chess strategy."

Some will snicker. The Joker knows this. But he is not deterred.

Former world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis is a devoted chess player. Ukrainian Vitali Klitschko, another heavyweight champ who recently retired, has a keen intellect and knows what to do when a queen sidles toward his king.

That's the kind of brawn and brain a clever marketing guy like the Joker thinks he can turn into success, not the novelty kind of success, but genuine prime-time, Caesars Palace spotlight success.

"I'd love to get them together," the Joker says of Lewis and Klitschko. "What do you think they want ? $30 million?"

Without marquee names, however, there is a potential drawback. Will people buy a beer and a hot dog and watch bare-chested smart guys in colorful satin shorts play chess? They will, the Joker believes, if the match coincides with the possibility of a knockout or spilled blood.

He has a question: "Is this story for the sports pages or another part of the newspaper?" Hard to tell, he is told.

The World Chess Boxing Organization, founded by the Joker and several business partners, held its first European tournament in Berlin in October. Five hundred fans showed up under dim lights as Bulgarian Tihomir "Tigertad" Titschko became the new champion.

Titschko peers over a chessboard like he's trying to deconstruct the theory of relativity, and he hits like a big man who just met the guy who stole his girlfriend. He defeated Andreas "D" Schneider, a German actor in dark trunks who punched well but succumbed in the ninth round to Titschko's blistering chess attack, described as "the Dragon variation of the Sicilian defense."

Chessboxers use words like "aesthetics" and "arduous." They ponder performance art, science, philosophy; they study grids, angles and buried meanings in obscure books. They know about black holes and Taoism.

The rules might be considered simple: Eleven rounds, six of chess and five of boxing. The first round is always chess. "That's because," says the Joker, "if you go down in boxing there is no chess." A one-minute pause between rounds allows opponents to slip on and off gloves and for the chessboard to be moved in and out of the ring. If all is equal on the chessboard and the boxing scorecard after the 11 rounds, according to the rules, "the opponent with the black pieces wins."

Players are required to wear headphones during the chess part of the match. "This is so no one in the audience can yell out, 'Hey, be careful of the knight on E-6,' " says the Joker, whose ring alias is a bit of history and a bit of Hollywood. "It's part court jester, who in the old days was allowed to make fun of the king without getting punished. It's a name responsible for entertainment. And everyone knows the Joker from 'Batman.' "

EdgeXXX · 12-01-2005, 01:20 PM

LMAO.... add a few midgets and that would be funny as hell

Steve · 12-01-2005, 01:20 PM

I would like that last 45 seconds of my life back, please

Steve · 12-01-2005, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdgeXXX

LMAO.... add a few midgets and that would be funny as hell

everyone knows midgets only fight lions

dissipate · 12-01-2005, 01:23 PM

hmm... so i suppose suggesting checker-mudwrestling would be a good option?

$5 submissions · 12-01-2005, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdgeXXX

LMAO.... add a few midgets and that would be funny as hell

Yep. Since it's weird sports combo day, I'd suggest 1K swimming + golf.

phonesex · 12-01-2005, 05:24 PM

that would be great.

Brent_Moe · 12-01-2005, 07:04 PM

Awesome sports there.

DirtyRider · 12-01-2005, 07:28 PM

Haha, what will they come up with next!

pornguy · 12-01-2005, 07:29 PM

I was thinking the fox hunt with 400 meter swimming.

knoxville · 12-02-2005, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

I would like that last 45 seconds of my life back, please

You're on GFY dude.

rickholio · 12-02-2005, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by $5 submissions

Yep. Since it's weird sports combo day, I'd suggest 1K swimming + golf.

That already exists... you know, when a cheap bastard loses his ball in the water hazard.

$5 submissions · 12-02-2005, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornguy

I was thinking the fox hunt with 400 meter swimming.

Maybe wind surfing matched with STRATEGO

gangbangjoe · 12-02-2005, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

everyone knows midgets only fight lions

12-01-2005, 01:15 PM	#1
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	Are you a REAL BADASS? Interesting new sport 'trend' -- mixing brawns with brains = CHESS BOXING From: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...home-headlines BERLIN ? Martin "Amok" Thomas is jabbing a right, but Frank "so-cool-he-doesn't-need-a-nickname" Stoldt is as elusive as a ribbon in the wind. He can't be hit. Time. The gloves come off, and the men hurry across the canvas to the chessboard. (You heard it right.) Amok took a couple of body shots, and he's breathing hard, but he'd better focus. That Stoldt, though, everyone in the gym knows he's this warrior-thinker, slamming the speed clock, cunningly moving his queen amid unraveling bandages and dripping sweat, daring Amok to leave him a sliver of opportunity. Time. Velcro rips. Amok slides back into his Everlast gloves, bites down on his mouthpiece, dances along the ropes. His king's in trouble, and his punches couldn't knock lint off a jacket. Stoldt floats toward him like a cloud of big hurt. Such is the bewildering beauty of chessboxing, alternating rounds of four minutes of chess followed by two minutes of boxing. Victory is claimed in a number of ways, some of them tedious, but the most thrilling are by checkmate and knockout. The sport's godfather, Iepe "the Joker" Rubingh, believes that chessboxing, like that contest in which frostbitten Scandinavians ski around with rifles, is destined for the Olympics. "It has enormous potential," says the Joker, 31, a taut Dutchman with an undamaged chin and wire-rimmed glasses. "Chess and boxing are very different worlds. Chessboxers move around in both. It's extremely demanding, but extremely rewarding. It's all about control over your physical and mental being. The adrenalin rush in boxing must be lowered to concentrate on chess strategy." Some will snicker. The Joker knows this. But he is not deterred. Former world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis is a devoted chess player. Ukrainian Vitali Klitschko, another heavyweight champ who recently retired, has a keen intellect and knows what to do when a queen sidles toward his king. That's the kind of brawn and brain a clever marketing guy like the Joker thinks he can turn into success, not the novelty kind of success, but genuine prime-time, Caesars Palace spotlight success. "I'd love to get them together," the Joker says of Lewis and Klitschko. "What do you think they want ? $30 million?" Without marquee names, however, there is a potential drawback. Will people buy a beer and a hot dog and watch bare-chested smart guys in colorful satin shorts play chess? They will, the Joker believes, if the match coincides with the possibility of a knockout or spilled blood. He has a question: "Is this story for the sports pages or another part of the newspaper?" Hard to tell, he is told. The World Chess Boxing Organization, founded by the Joker and several business partners, held its first European tournament in Berlin in October. Five hundred fans showed up under dim lights as Bulgarian Tihomir "Tigertad" Titschko became the new champion. Titschko peers over a chessboard like he's trying to deconstruct the theory of relativity, and he hits like a big man who just met the guy who stole his girlfriend. He defeated Andreas "D" Schneider, a German actor in dark trunks who punched well but succumbed in the ninth round to Titschko's blistering chess attack, described as "the Dragon variation of the Sicilian defense." Chessboxers use words like "aesthetics" and "arduous." They ponder performance art, science, philosophy; they study grids, angles and buried meanings in obscure books. They know about black holes and Taoism. The rules might be considered simple: Eleven rounds, six of chess and five of boxing. The first round is always chess. "That's because," says the Joker, "if you go down in boxing there is no chess." A one-minute pause between rounds allows opponents to slip on and off gloves and for the chessboard to be moved in and out of the ring. If all is equal on the chessboard and the boxing scorecard after the 11 rounds, according to the rules, "the opponent with the black pieces wins." Players are required to wear headphones during the chess part of the match. "This is so no one in the audience can yell out, 'Hey, be careful of the knight on E-6,' " says the Joker, whose ring alias is a bit of history and a bit of Hollywood. "It's part court jester, who in the old days was allowed to make fun of the king without getting punished. It's a name responsible for entertainment. And everyone knows the Joker from 'Batman.' " __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

12-01-2005, 01:20 PM	#2
EdgeXXX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Secretely plotting a hostile takeover Posts: 5,816	LMAO.... add a few midgets and that would be funny as hell __________________ . . . . I have a sig

12-01-2005, 05:24 PM	#7
phonesex Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Phone Sex Pays! Believe it! Posts: 3,437	that would be great. __________________ Phone Sex Pays Make $1.50 a minute! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP NOW

12-01-2005, 07:04 PM	#8
Brent_Moe Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 646	Awesome sports there. __________________

12-01-2005, 07:28 PM	#9
DirtyRider Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 819	Haha, what will they come up with next! __________________ hello

12-01-2005, 01:20 PM	#3
Steve Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: USA Posts: 6,894	I would like that last 45 seconds of my life back, please

12-01-2005, 01:23 PM	#5
dissipate The Dirty Frenchman Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lost Angeles Posts: 8,904	hmm... so i suppose suggesting checker-mudwrestling would be a good option?

12-01-2005, 07:29 PM	#10
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	I was thinking the fox hunt with 400 meter swimming. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!