Attention in the club! The DJs Speak! Hahahahaha - GoFuckYourself.com

seeric · 12-10-2005, 05:14 PM

this is some funny shit! as long as i have been djing, my boy who wrote this nailed it on the head!

Memorandum To All Clubbers :

From: Mikey Beats

Date: Today

READ AND MEMORIZE!
----------------------------

So hilarious, yet so true...

The next time you're out at the club, look at your dj. Do you think we are really concerned about what you have to say? The answer is no, we do not. What we do is play music, and we do it for the money and/ or the soul so please help us out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should respect that.

There are SO many people out there flooding the clubs w/o any knowledge of how to act. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow in regards with communication with the dj. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. "It's my friends birthday..."

I don't give a fuck nor do the 500 other people who are at the club with you. I don't care how cute you are or if you are VIP. If you ain't showing titties, have a shot in your hand or a fist full of loot, "I don't have a mic, sorry..." Fellas...Don't even think about it.

2. "Can you play..."

No, fuck you. I am the dj, not you. The promoters are paying me to play what I play, not you. If you got the itch to be a dj, iPod bitch!

3. "Do you play house/reggae-tone/rock/hiphop???"

No, fuck off. So many people have their head so far up there asses they don't know what the fucks up. Check it out, there are these things called fliers, eh? These are promotion tools. Read the fucking flier and see what room plays what God damned music. I play HOUSE!!!. Fuck you!

4. "Can you speed/slow it up/down???"

Fuck you. I am working the crowd. If the music is slow, go get a drink. That's why the music is slow so your dumb ass goes to the bar and spends money. When I see you with a full drink, I play your favorite track so you pound the drink and come dance. I do this all night long. That's why they pay me.

5. "Can I dance on stage???"

Bitch, you're wasted! You think I am going to put the club at risk as well as my job so you can slip and fall and sue everyone? Fuck you!
We pay the dancers for a reason...

6. "Can you play the sweaty balls song???"

Look, the song is called "Get Low" and is by Lil John. Get it the fuck right. Besides, does your white daddy know you dance like a whore?

Now if you don't get your way, don't be a little bitch and throw a fit. Just walk away, go to the bar and buy another drink. Whatever you do, do not touch the fucking needle on the record. I will fucking kill you! Too many times I have had these priss bitches get mad and pull on the tone arm. What the fuck?! Are you that new you fucking twat?! I will give you two black eyes then have two black guys drag you out by your weave you filthy little cum dumpster!

One last thing, while we are on the subject, back the fuck up! Give me some fucking room! You bump the tables I bump your head, dig?!

Repost this shit. Tell everyone.

Mikey Beats '05

word up mikey! you nailed it yo!

sfera · 12-10-2005, 05:17 PM

lol the sweaty balls song

pubenemy · 12-10-2005, 05:19 PM

I dunno most of them seem on point but my ol lady always requests some sorta song at some point in the club and it always ends up getting played.

BoyAlley · 12-10-2005, 05:19 PM

why have i never heard the sweaty balls song?

seeric · 12-10-2005, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pubenemy

I dunno most of them seem on point but my ol lady always requests some sorta song at some point in the club and it always ends up getting played.

yeah! i'll play songs for chicks as long as it fits in with what im already doing. the guy that wrote this is frustrated. lol.

sltr · 12-10-2005, 05:22 PM

sounds like it's very rough being a dj, getting hassled like that all the time

digitalfrog · 12-10-2005, 05:23 PM

LOL !
I spend my life in clubs, I appreciate that one a lot ! (even though I'm not a DJ)

Da Frog

pubenemy · 12-10-2005, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A1R3K

yeah! i'll play songs for chicks as long as it fits in with what im already doing. the guy that wrote this is frustrated. lol.

Yea stuff she requests is always in line with whats playing, and it prolly doesnt hurt that shes decent looking and most likely boobs poking out of whatever outfit shes wearing.

seeric · 12-10-2005, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digitalfrog

LOL !
I spend my life in clubs, I appreciate that one a lot ! (even though I'm not a DJ)

Da Frog

hey man you got myspace?

add me www.myspace.com/djairek

seeric · 12-10-2005, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pubenemy

Yea stuff she requests is always in line with whats playing, and it prolly doesnt hurt that shes decent looking and most likely boobs poking out of whatever outfit shes wearing.

that helps

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 05:48 PM

you play at clubs where people request songs? sounds pretty trashy...

tony286 · 12-10-2005, 05:51 PM

THats too funny lol

seeric · 12-10-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

you play at clubs where people request songs? sounds pretty trashy...

people find ways to request shit.

you don't obviously know me, so don't be a dick.

pubenemy · 12-10-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

you play at clubs where people request songs? sounds pretty trashy...

Ive never been to a club where a hot chick cant find her way to the dj booth and request something... multiple major cities involved.

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:05 PM

dead fucking on

if the dj booth is in an area where the crowd can walk up or shout to you, you get each one of those on a nightly basis

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 07:20 PM

usually the type of places which have people requesting tracks are meat markets or top 40 joints who want shoutouts because it's a friends b/day...

maybe it's the places i go to but i NEVER see girls (hot or not) going up to a dj requesting a track to be played...

pornguy · 12-10-2005, 07:27 PM

OK. So then if I send him the Whore of his choice that comes bearing a drink, and a nice big tip, he plays what I want?

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornguy

OK. So then if I send him the Whore of his choice that comes bearing a drink, and a nice big tip, he plays what I want?

well trashy whores don't usually get in to begin with... sounds like you're after a jukebox rather than a dj...

but if you're into sleazefests and top 40 music go for it at least you're having fun... what you need to realise is the places i go to are mainly for people who want to hear specific sounds... hence NO requests...

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

usually the type of places which have people requesting tracks are meat markets or top 40 joints who want shoutouts because it's a friends b/day...

maybe it's the places i go to but i NEVER see girls (hot or not) going up to a dj requesting a track to be played...

not true at all...I have dj'ed RAVES before and people do that shit

ANY club where the dj booth has close access to the crowd get that shit....I have worked at some high class fucking clubs, with strict dress codes and not one trailer trash girl around....and they still come up and ask stupid shit....the birthday one is by far the most requested, at least 3-4 times a night

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:38 PM

when I am djing, a nice big tip will always get you a birthday announcement, but I never take requests, my stuff is way underground....but I get asked all the time

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

not true at all...I have dj'ed RAVES before and people do that shit

ANY club where the dj booth has close access to the crowd get that shit....I have worked at some high class fucking clubs, with strict dress codes and not one trailer trash girl around....and they still come up and ask stupid shit....the birthday one is by far the most requested, at least 3-4 times a night

you're telling me what i'm saying isn't true? fact is i haven't seen people at the venue's i regularly attend request songs...

Quote:

you play at clubs where people request songs? sounds pretty trashy...

if you read what i said above in that quote i was generalising and being sarcastic... you don't agree that the 'majority' of places which request songs are top 40 or drunken sleazefest joints?

but in the end... it's all about having fun...

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

when I am djing, a nice big tip will always get you a birthday announcement, but I never take requests, my stuff is way underground....but I get asked all the time

haha the clubs down here which i attend to, the mic is only used to announce a special guest or international act... i guess it varies in different countries...

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

you're telling me what i'm saying isn't true? fact is i haven't seen people at the venue's i regularly attend request songs...

if you read what i said i was generalising and being sarcastic... you don't agree that the 'majority' of places which request songs are top 40 or drunken sleazefest joints?

but in the end... it's all about having fun...

the majority of places that have people requesting songs is the majority of clubs

in the end, you kind of have the be the dj up there for 4-5 hours a night to really have experienced it....but it does happen, and I am sure it happens in the clubs you hit, but usually the dj just ignores any people coming up to the booth, that is what I usually do, unless they have a nice tip in their hand...haha

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

haha the clubs down here which i attend to, the mic is only used to announce a special guest or international act... i guess it varies in different countries...

i will say this....props to australia dude....i have seen examples of their scene, and you are probably right, it probably is more of a drunk american thing....

australia has a kick ass scene, and the club goers are some of the most educated in the world when it comes to dance music

i can't wait to go over there one day and party

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

the majority of places that have people requesting songs is the majority of clubs

in the end, you kind of have the be the dj up there for 4-5 hours a night to really have experienced it....but it does happen, and I am sure it happens in the clubs you hit, but usually the dj just ignores any people coming up to the booth, that is what I usually do, unless they have a nice tip in their hand...haha

i've dj'd at events on and off for the last 5 years... i haven't had one person request a song... but i've had people come up to me asking what a certain song i played was or after i finished a set wanted to talk about the music i played...

i mainly go to minimal nights or deep house venues so people just enjoy the music being played and let the dj do his job...

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

i will say this....props to australia dude....i have seen examples of their scene, and you are probably right, it probably is more of a drunk american thing....

australia has a kick ass scene, and the club goers are some of the most educated in the world when it comes to dance music

i can't wait to go over there one day and party

yeah the scene in melbourne is really nice... techno unfortunately is dead now... lots of house mainly being played all over the joint... but it offers everything... should check out inthemix.com.au great place for news happening in australia...

xNetworx · 12-10-2005, 07:53 PM

I think your buddy needs to find a better club to spin at

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

yeah the scene in melbourne is really nice... techno unfortunately is dead now... lots of house mainly being played all over the joint... but it offers everything... should check out inthemix.com.au great place for news happening in australia...

oh yeah, i am on inthemix

breaks.com.au is another one I have been keeping up with

from what I have seen, there is a kickass breaks scene down there

Jace · 12-10-2005, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

techno unfortunately is dead now...

techno is dead in a lot more places than australia.....you can't even find a single techno dj here in atlanta

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

oh yeah, i am on inthemix

breaks.com.au is another one I have been keeping up with

from what I have seen, there is a kickass breaks scene down there

yeah breaks is big down here... i don't dig it much myself but it has a big following...

yeah the techno thing is a bit sad... although it still seems to be pretty healthy in some parts of europe like france UR just finished touring there and Jeff Mills dj'd with a symphony... and also big in japan... you might also find this a cool read... http://blog.excite.co.jp/jeff05 <--- jeff mills' blog good info/news/pics...

Deej · 12-10-2005, 08:25 PM

dude are you fucking serious....bitches grab the fuckin needle if they dont get their way.....grounds for an 86'n plus the black eyes ;)

seriously though...I would nut the fuck up....and sick the whole fuckin dance floor on her...

Jace · 12-10-2005, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

yeah breaks is big down here... i don't dig it much myself but it has a big following...

yeah the techno thing is a bit sad... although it still seems to be pretty healthy in some parts of europe like france UR just finished touring there and Jeff Mills dj'd with a symphony... and also big in japan... you might also find this a cool read... http://blog.excite.co.jp/jeff05 <--- jeff mills' blog good info/news/pics...

dude, techno is SOOOO huge is japan, they freaking love that shit

actually a buddy of mine here in Atlanta is HUGE is Japan, you might have heard of him, he does a lot of underground techno stuff, Richard Devine

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

actually a buddy of mine here in Atlanta is HUGE is Japan, you might have heard of him, he does a lot of underground techno stuff, Richard Devine

nah haven't heard of him... does he make tracks?

dunefield · 12-10-2005, 08:40 PM

whoa just did a google search... is this his site?

http://www.richard-devine.com

really nice stuff on there and he's on warp as well... awesome... whoa done remixes for herbert as well... herbert is nuts...

Jace · 12-10-2005, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

nah haven't heard of him... does he make tracks?

http://www.google.com/search?sourcei...richard+devine

he does it all....and the funny thing is, he is sponsored by Apple, Native Instruments and ton of other companies...and he still lives in his parents basement...he has a full professional studio in that fucker, it is hilarious, but he loves it

Jace · 12-10-2005, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

whoa just did a google search... is this his site?

http://www.richard-devine.com

really nice stuff on there and he's on warp as well... awesome... whoa done remixes for herbert as well... herbert is nuts...

yup, that is him

Jace · 12-10-2005, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunefield

whoa just did a google search... is this his site?

http://www.richard-devine.com

really nice stuff on there and he's on warp as well... awesome... whoa done remixes for herbert as well... herbert is nuts...

the part that sucks about Rich living here in Atlanta is that the techno scene here is D E A D

he did a show last year here, a full live setup, he brought all his gear out and everything...and 150 people showed up, and that is in and out of the door all night...there couldn't have been more than 50 people in the place at one time

seeric · 12-10-2005, 10:28 PM

JACE is a PIMP!

the GOON hand is strong.

Nookster · 12-10-2005, 10:30 PM

Hahaha, that's classic. Think i'll start posting that on the background of the flyers we put out lol

Adultnet · 12-10-2005, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A1R3K

Can you speed/slow it up/down???"

Fuck you. I am working the crowd. If the music is slow, go get a drink. That's why the music is slow so your dumb ass goes to the bar and spends money. When I see you with a full drink, I play your favorite track so you pound the drink and come dance. I do this all night long. That's why they pay me.

lol.. this one is good

12-10-2005, 05:14 PM	#1
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	Attention in the club! The DJs Speak! Hahahahaha this is some funny shit! as long as i have been djing, my boy who wrote this nailed it on the head! Memorandum To All Clubbers : From: Mikey Beats Date: Today READ AND MEMORIZE! ---------------------------- So hilarious, yet so true... The next time you're out at the club, look at your dj. Do you think we are really concerned about what you have to say? The answer is no, we do not. What we do is play music, and we do it for the money and/ or the soul so please help us out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should respect that. There are SO many people out there flooding the clubs w/o any knowledge of how to act. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow in regards with communication with the dj. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse. 1. "It's my friends birthday..." I don't give a fuck nor do the 500 other people who are at the club with you. I don't care how cute you are or if you are VIP. If you ain't showing titties, have a shot in your hand or a fist full of loot, "I don't have a mic, sorry..." Fellas...Don't even think about it. 2. "Can you play..." No, fuck you. I am the dj, not you. The promoters are paying me to play what I play, not you. If you got the itch to be a dj, iPod bitch! 3. "Do you play house/reggae-tone/rock/hiphop???" No, fuck off. So many people have their head so far up there asses they don't know what the fucks up. Check it out, there are these things called fliers, eh? These are promotion tools. Read the fucking flier and see what room plays what God damned music. I play HOUSE!!!. Fuck you! 4. "Can you speed/slow it up/down???" Fuck you. I am working the crowd. If the music is slow, go get a drink. That's why the music is slow so your dumb ass goes to the bar and spends money. When I see you with a full drink, I play your favorite track so you pound the drink and come dance. I do this all night long. That's why they pay me. 5. "Can I dance on stage???" Bitch, you're wasted! You think I am going to put the club at risk as well as my job so you can slip and fall and sue everyone? Fuck you! We pay the dancers for a reason... 6. "Can you play the sweaty balls song???" Look, the song is called "Get Low" and is by Lil John. Get it the fuck right. Besides, does your white daddy know you dance like a whore? Now if you don't get your way, don't be a little bitch and throw a fit. Just walk away, go to the bar and buy another drink. Whatever you do, do not touch the fucking needle on the record. I will fucking kill you! Too many times I have had these priss bitches get mad and pull on the tone arm. What the fuck?! Are you that new you fucking twat?! I will give you two black eyes then have two black guys drag you out by your weave you filthy little cum dumpster! One last thing, while we are on the subject, back the fuck up! Give me some fucking room! You bump the tables I bump your head, dig?! Repost this shit. Tell everyone. Mikey Beats '05 word up mikey! you nailed it yo!

12-10-2005, 05:19 PM	#3
pubenemy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: SW FL Posts: 990	I dunno most of them seem on point but my ol lady always requests some sorta song at some point in the club and it always ends up getting played. __________________ ICQ: 22-920-445 Aim: OGpubenemy

12-10-2005, 05:23 PM	#7
digitalfrog Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 8	LOL ! I spend my life in clubs, I appreciate that one a lot ! (even though I'm not a DJ) Da Frog __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

12-10-2005, 05:48 PM	#11
dunefield www.barely18movies.com Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 10,920	you play at clubs where people request songs? sounds pretty trashy... __________________

12-10-2005, 07:20 PM	#16
dunefield www.barely18movies.com Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 10,920	usually the type of places which have people requesting tracks are meat markets or top 40 joints who want shoutouts because it's a friends b/day... maybe it's the places i go to but i NEVER see girls (hot or not) going up to a dj requesting a track to be played... __________________

12-10-2005, 05:17 PM	#2
sfera Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ICQ: 248877409 Posts: 8,597	lol the sweaty balls song

12-10-2005, 05:19 PM	#4
BoyAlley So Fucking Gay Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 19,714	why have i never heard the sweaty balls song?

12-10-2005, 05:22 PM	#6
sltr Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,191	sounds like it's very rough being a dj, getting hassled like that all the time

12-10-2005, 05:51 PM	#12
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	THats too funny lol

12-10-2005, 07:05 PM	#15
Jace FBOP Class Of 2013 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: bumfuck, ky Posts: 35,562	dead fucking on if the dj booth is in an area where the crowd can walk up or shout to you, you get each one of those on a nightly basis

12-10-2005, 07:27 PM	#17
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	OK. So then if I send him the Whore of his choice that comes bearing a drink, and a nice big tip, he plays what I want? __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

12-10-2005, 07:38 PM	#20
Jace FBOP Class Of 2013 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: bumfuck, ky Posts: 35,562	when I am djing, a nice big tip will always get you a birthday announcement, but I never take requests, my stuff is way underground....but I get asked all the time

12-10-2005, 07:53 PM	#27
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	I think your buddy needs to find a better club to spin at

12-10-2005, 08:25 PM	#31
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	dude are you fucking serious....bitches grab the fuckin needle if they dont get their way.....grounds for an 86'n plus the black eyes ;) seriously though...I would nut the fuck up....and sick the whole fuckin dance floor on her... __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

12-10-2005, 08:40 PM	#34
dunefield www.barely18movies.com Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 10,920	whoa just did a google search... is this his site? http://www.richard-devine.com really nice stuff on there and he's on warp as well... awesome... whoa done remixes for herbert as well... herbert is nuts... __________________ Last edited by dunefield; 12-10-2005 at 08:42 PM..

12-10-2005, 10:28 PM	#38
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	JACE is a PIMP! the GOON hand is strong.

12-10-2005, 10:30 PM	#39
Nookster Confirmed IT Professional Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Hollywood, CA Posts: 3,744	Hahaha, that's classic. Think i'll start posting that on the background of the flyers we put out lol __________________ The Best Affiliate Software, Ever.