I Got Jokes - GoFuckYourself.com

sicone · 06-29-2006, 03:44 PM

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%

It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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BoyAlley · 06-29-2006, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicone

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

OMG some of these are pretty damn good

Scott McD · 06-29-2006, 03:52 PM

Some oldies but goodies...

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-29-2006, 03:58 PM

Q: What did the gay guy do when he missed his boyfriend?
A: Shat in his hand and had a wank.

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Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.

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Q: How do you find a fat woman's pussy?
A: Flip through the folds until you smell shit, then go back one.

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Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.

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Q: What goes "click click click, is that it?, click click click, is that it?...."
A: A blind man with a Rubiks cube.

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Q: How many gay guys does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

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Q: How do you fuck an ugly woman?
A: Jerk off in your hand and throw it at her.

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Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Loryn · 06-29-2006, 04:15 PM

You shouldn't talk about women that way, you are a lib and being of a lib mind you should behave in the correct politically correct manner:

HouseHead · 06-29-2006, 04:23 PM

Some good ones here..Brings back some memories from high school lol

Spunky · 06-29-2006, 04:25 PM

Har har..those were great

sicone · 06-29-2006, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

You shouldn't talk about women that way, you are a lib and being of a lib mind you should behave in the correct politically correct manner:

Don't be sexist... bitches hate that shit

06-29-2006, 03:44 PM	#1
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	I Got Jokes How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90% It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ------------------------------------------------------------------- __________________

06-29-2006, 03:52 PM	#3
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	Some oldies but goodies... __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

06-29-2006, 04:15 PM	#5
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	You shouldn't talk about women that way, you are a lib and being of a lib mind you should behave in the correct politically correct manner: __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

06-29-2006, 04:23 PM	#6
HouseHead Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Aim - Hydromorphone Posts: 5,539	Some good ones here..Brings back some memories from high school lol __________________ The Sexiest place to Buy & Sell Adult Ads - JuicyAds is where YOUR profits matter! ---> SPOTS AVAILABLE :\|: SIGN UP RIGHT NOW <---

06-29-2006, 04:25 PM	#7
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	Har har..those were great __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

06-29-2006, 03:58 PM	#4
Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tinseltown NL Posts: 16,502	Q: What did the gay guy do when he missed his boyfriend? A: Shat in his hand and had a wank. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After five years your job will still suck. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you find a fat woman's pussy? A: Flip through the folds until you smell shit, then go back one. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How is a woman like a road? A: Both have manholes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What goes "click click click, is that it?, click click click, is that it?...." A: A blind man with a Rubiks cube. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How many gay guys does it take to put in a light bulb? A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you fuck an ugly woman? A: Jerk off in your hand and throw it at her. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How does every ethnic joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.