photography joke - GoFuckYourself.com

Grapesoda · 08-16-2006, 07:06 PM

The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to....."

"Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.

"You have?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's exactly what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked a blushing Mrs. Jones.

"You just leave everything to me," he replied. "Usually, I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for George and me," stated Mrs. Jones.

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. However, if we try several different positions, and I shoot from five or six angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Jones.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I would love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus in the downtown area," he proudly declared.

"Oh my word!" Mrs. Jones exclaimed.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, considering the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with," he said, handing Mrs. Jones the photograph.

"She was difficult?" Mrs. Jones asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Central Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing and shoving to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Jones, her eyes the size of saucers.

"Yes," said the photographer. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. It was very difficult for me to concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

"You mean they actually chewed on your, umm, equipment?" Mrs. Jones asked.

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod?" asked a very worried Mrs. Jones.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action."

"Madam, madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!"

Adult Warden · 08-16-2006, 07:08 PM

John · 08-16-2006, 07:10 PM

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action."

Ha! That was good.

reynold · 08-16-2006, 08:29 PM

A good one, dude!

Vitasoy · 08-16-2006, 08:37 PM

That gave me a chuckle

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 08-16-2006, 08:42 PM

Once they cleared up the misunderstanding, did he bang her?

ADG Webmaster

woj · 08-16-2006, 08:44 PM

Sydney_AWP · 08-16-2006, 08:47 PM

that's really funny

notabook · 08-16-2006, 08:50 PM

For such an old joke... it always manages to get a laugh

avalanche · 08-16-2006, 09:23 PM

That's great!

soulbleed · 08-16-2006, 09:36 PM

new to me. nice

I LOVE Little Brown Asses · 08-16-2006, 09:55 PM

i never heard that before - funny!

PussyTeenies · 08-16-2006, 11:22 PM

WHAHAHAHAHAHHAA good one
(long joke.. but great!)

Dagwolf · 08-17-2006, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PussyTeenies

WHAHAHAHAHAHHAA good one
(long joke.. but great!)

Thanks for saying that for me.

dakota1358 · 08-17-2006, 03:15 AM

Thats a classic

FuqALot · 08-17-2006, 03:19 AM

funnieeee

Magix · 08-17-2006, 03:37 AM

he he nice one

)

Lykos · 08-17-2006, 04:32 AM

good one

nAtuRaLbEautY · 08-18-2006, 12:38 AM

nice one!

donross · 08-18-2006, 01:19 AM

ngak ngak ngak

08-16-2006, 07:06 PM	#1
Grapesoda So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Montana Posts: 46,238	photography joke The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to....." "Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in. "You have?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's exactly what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked a blushing Mrs. Jones. "You just leave everything to me," he replied. "Usually, I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for George and me," stated Mrs. Jones. "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. However, if we try several different positions, and I shoot from five or six angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Jones. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I would love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in the downtown area," he proudly declared. "Oh my word!" Mrs. Jones exclaimed. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, considering the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with," he said, handing Mrs. Jones the photograph. "She was difficult?" Mrs. Jones asked. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Central Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing and shoving to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Jones, her eyes the size of saucers. "Yes," said the photographer. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. It was very difficult for me to concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." "You mean they actually chewed on your, umm, equipment?" Mrs. Jones asked. "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod?" asked a very worried Mrs. Jones. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action." "Madam, madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!"

08-16-2006, 08:37 PM	#5
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	That gave me a chuckle __________________ [email protected]

08-16-2006, 08:42 PM	#6
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Once they cleared up the misunderstanding, did he bang her? ADG Webmaster __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

08-16-2006, 08:44 PM	#7
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	__________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

08-16-2006, 08:47 PM	#8
Sydney_AWP Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 358	that's really funny __________________ Affordably Fulfilling Your Adult Web Needs email: [email protected] icq: 229265389 skype: Sydney_AWP msn: [email protected]

08-16-2006, 07:08 PM	#2
Adult Warden So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 1,822

08-16-2006, 07:10 PM	#3
John Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Los Angeles, CA. Posts: 138	"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action." Ha! That was good.

08-16-2006, 08:29 PM	#4
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	A good one, dude!

08-16-2006, 08:50 PM	#9
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	For such an old joke... it always manages to get a laugh __________________

08-16-2006, 09:23 PM	#10
avalanche Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: SoCal Posts: 1,922	That's great! __________________ Avalanche CherryPimps - Daily Pornstars, LIVE and more!

08-16-2006, 09:36 PM	#11
soulbleed Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 2,606	new to me. nice

08-16-2006, 09:55 PM	#12
I LOVE Little Brown Asses Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Paradise Posts: 1,047	i never heard that before - funny! __________________ ladyboygold.com \| joonmali.com \| lilykoh.com \| ashakumara.com \| girlslovetoys.com POTD/MOTD/GOTD \| Geo-IP Fansigns \| Custom Gallery Builder \| RSS Feeds 60% Revshare \| 10% Webmaster Referral \| Console Free \| 100% EXCLUSIVE \| ICQ: 194519692

08-16-2006, 11:22 PM	#13
PussyTeenies Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Haarlem and Amsterdam, capital of the porn world ;-) Posts: 6,496	WHAHAHAHAHAHHAA good one (long joke.. but great!) __________________ Need adult hosting? Contact us! WARM Hosting Need an IT solution? or someone to check your site and security? Nossie - IT Professional

08-17-2006, 03:15 AM	#15
dakota1358 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Baltimore,Md Posts: 2,114	Thats a classic __________________ Carmen Cocks Rocks

08-17-2006, 03:19 AM	#16
FuqALot Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Malibu Posts: 3,817	funnieeee

08-17-2006, 03:37 AM	#17
Magix Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: ICQ: 263238646 Posts: 2,616	he he nice one ) __________________ PSD to HTML/XHTML/CSS Services

08-17-2006, 04:32 AM	#18
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,027	good one __________________

08-18-2006, 12:38 AM	#19
nAtuRaLbEautY Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 6,107	nice one! __________________ Prime Outsourcing│offshore solutions│manual labor│staff leasing│full time employees starting at $695.00/month=managed and dedicated \| icq: 309570461 \| live chat

08-18-2006, 01:19 AM	#20
donross Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,295	ngak ngak ngak __________________ Email: [email protected] \| Skype: ross.alcazar